motley moms

Staying Organized for the New School Year

2010-08-17T12:28:00.000-04:00

I've been working on my lessons and plans for this year. This year is the first year in 10 years that I am not returning to school as a full-time teacher. Instead, I am staying home and homeschooling and teaching online part-time. Let me just say, it is quite a change. I know I work harder at home than I did at school. For instance, at school, I get a planning period. Home - not so much. I don't even get to go potty by myself!

Rachel has mentioned how she merges her hubby's Outlook calendar with hers and writes notes to herself. It's an awesome idea, and I LOVE it. For instance, last year when I found pumpkins for 1 penny a pound, I wrote myself a note to appear on my calendar this year at the same time, hoping that I don't forget to get that deal again.

Over the summer, I have mastered what I find an easy management method for my home - Google Calendar. For real. I had some doubts when I first read about managing multiple calendars (I can hardly keep track of one!) but now that I've been doing it for awhile, I really like it! Here is the basic idea - you start a new Google Calendar for everything you want to keep track of: Here is the monthly view of mine right now:

It's looks kind of crazy at first....then it starts to be awesome!

On the far left are all of the separate calendars. The ones that I have highlighted in color - show up on the calendar I am viewing. Right now I have 10 calendars that I can look at individually or together with others. They are: baby (as in stuff I should remember about this pregnancy - like how far along I am, which I can never remember), Appointments, Bills, Birthdays & Events, Church & Community, Family, Homeschool Plans, Household Management, Meal Plans, and School Board Business. It seems like a lot, I know. But, here are some reasons why it's awesome.

For Birthdays & Events, I have all of our family birthdays and anniversaries. I have marked these to repeat yearly and have each person's physical and email address in the notes section. Now I don't have to stop and look them up! Also, I can print this calendar alone if I want all that info on one page. Meetings I have because of my online job are under School Board Business, I share that calendar with my hubby and mom (my main babysitters). On the Bills calendars, I mark any specific bill due dates and use the email me a reminder feature for things like property taxes and homeowners. You know, bills I get months in advance and don't have to pay immediately and then, of course, forget about. Not that anyone else does that.

There are a few calendars that I don't have highlighted - basically because it makes my calendar a LOT harder to read all at once. My meal plan calendar is completed 1 month in advance when I make my SHARE order. Then I print it and put it on the fridge. Household Management is basically a reminder for me - what specific tasks I do on a weekly basis - toilets and wipe down bathrooms on Monday's for instance, iron church clothes on Thursday, stuff like that.

Finally, Homeschool Plans. I actually write out my plans every week (and make changes). However, my mom and my hubby like to know what I have planned so they can ask the kids about it. So, I share that calendar with them. The times on that calendar aren't important at all. We do those lessons mixed in with center time, puzzles, dance/music time, etc. Most importantly, it serves at my official record that I can keep as long as I need and print at will if I need to do so for Homeschool record keeping. Now that schedules are starting to get busier with school starting, maybe this is something that will work for you. I feel like a genius now that I am using it. I mean, I know when Ryan's cousin's birthdays are and manage to send them a card! Holy Cow.

We've Moved!

2010-08-05T20:21:00.004-04:00

I'm kind of hesitant to even post this, since our posting and reading have gone way down during the summer, but I'm just so excited to be in our new house! It was such a whirlwind - one Sunday we went for a drive and saw a house we thought was pretty cool. Within 3 days we had put down an offer on it, the owners accepted, and we met with a realtor about selling our house. Our house was on the market less than a week when we had an offer. Talk about the hand of God moving! This has truly been God's plan for our family. The house is not bigger, though it is nicer. We lost a little bit of yard space and outdoor storage. But the neighborhood is great. My dad never liked neighborhoods, so growing up I always lived way out in the country, away from anyone else. Our old house is in a neighborhood, but it's not exactly the kind we want our kids growing up in. It's on a busy street, next to a middle school, and it's loud. Kids walking home from school - loud. People driving by with their music thumping - loud. Motorcycles speeding down the road - loud. In our new neighborhood, we are almost in a cul-de-sac. My kids, 2 and 4, can ride their bikes in the street. Our neighbors stop to talk to us, introducing themselves and letting our kids pet their very sweet animals. The teenaged girl next door brought us a giant hunk of homemade cake. It's so quiet you can actually hear nature. Add a cast of wacky characters, and we're living in Stars Hollow! (I'm praying at least one of you is a Gilmore Girls fan.) I guess what's nice out here is that I don't feel like I'm alone in the world. We were so isolated (by choice) in our last neighborhood. I can't wait to raise my kids here!

SHARE is Online now....

2010-07-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

Hey Motley Moms! SHARE is now offering online ordering and today (at 5pm) is the last day to order for July! Pickup is on Saturday, July 31. I pick-up at the Care Center but they have sites all over Florida - check out their website to find the one closest to you.

We purchase the Family Value and the Prime Produce (you get a TON of produce) packages and some additional items to complete our monthly menu. You should give it a try - it's easy and a great value for the money! Happy Monday!

DEADBEAT (motley) MOM

2010-07-13T21:03:00.000-04:00

Summer is obviously in full swing with all sorts of special memory-making moments for the Motley Moms. Karly's kiss with a curb and Liz's foray into boxing (in more ways than one) just go to prove how dangerous it is to be a mom. Especially a really motley one who has police chasing her all over town or pictures of her injuries going viral on facebook. It's the stuff summer is made of...ahhhh, memories.

While summer happenings have been heating up, our motley writing has definitely taken a "chill pill" as we said in middle school. I don't feel like such a deadbeat anymore, now that I'm in good company! But I do miss clicking over to Motley Moms for my daily peek into the lives of my mom friends. It's my lifeline to the outside world when I'm up here in the middle of the Adirondack mountains with no cell service all summer...the one-liner quips on Facebook just don't do it for me!

It is nice to take a break from it all, though, every now and then. I'm hoping our little summer break will result in lots of great posts when we've all returned to our regularly scheduled programs. For now, maybe I should find the graphic of the color blocks with the accompanying tone to alert the public that we have no Motley programming during the summer break. That would be awesome.

Have fun with your families, but ya'll come back now, y'hear?

Summer with a Two Year Old!

2010-06-27T22:33:00.002-04:00

Summer has been great so far! I am loving it! But I am also trying to get in to an easy routine with my 2 year old. We have some weekly events that we go to: Park outing with other moms from church, library visit to get new books, movies and play with their toys and puzzles, and a Pool party at my house (yes we have a pool). These activities are GREAT! We have a fun time doing all of them.

But I am looking for some ideas for activities that we can do around the house that focus on learning. Something we can do in the mornings when we wake up and are still in our PJ's. Right now we just sort of mosey around playing, making a mess, watching movies, going online... nothing really substantial... I would like to do something more constructive. I would like at least 5 ideas so that I can do them once a week.

That is where the Motley Moms come in. What are some of your go-to learning activities for toddlers?

Want to see what will ruin my summer?

2010-06-17T07:25:00.000-04:00

Would you like to see it from a different angle?

Yes. That is my ankle. And really, the second picture doesn't do all the pretty colors justice. Last week I blew out my ankle. Would you like to know how? Or, rather, why? Because I am a big ol' klutz. That's it. I'm clumsy, so I will spend my entire summer in a brace and part of the time on crutches because I can't do plyometrics without turning my ankle the direction it was not meant to turn. The good news is: 1. It's not broken (although sometimes a break is better than a sprain, especially when it's sprained as severely as mine is), 2. I don't need surgery, and 3. School is out, which means my MIL and SIL are able to help me quite a bit. And yes, it is overkill to say this ankle sprain (4 torn ligaments! 3 month recovery!) will "ruin" my summer, but here is a list of things that will just not be the same:

1. VBS. I can't work it because I'm not terribly mobile, even with the crutches, but my kids can still attend. So I get 5 half-days to myself. Huh. Wait, that actually turned out pretty well. Okay, scratch that.

New #1. I'm going to get fat. It's inevitable. I can't do anything physical. No circuit training, no weight training, no running, no elliptical, no kickboxing. I was even considering going back to tae kwon do, but I won't be able to do anything strenuous until September, most likely. This lack of physical activity not only makes me flabbier, but it makes me cranky, too.

2. The Keys. Todd and I are going to the Keys in less than 2 weeks, by ourselves. I still won't be able to walk long distances, although I should be off the crutches by then, so there won't be any walking around Key West for shopping or people-watching. We can't go kayaking because of Todd's recent shoulder surgery (it takes a long time to recover from that) and I can't very well bike. I guess we'll be spending all of our time either in the hotel room or lying out by the pool, reading and sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them. Bummer.

3. Busch Gardens. They have a special going this summer where you can get a year's pass for kids 5 and under for free because they've opened up a new Elmo-themed preschool area. I was planning on going there a lot but I don't think I will now. Can you imagine me on one of those motorized carts trying to chase after 2 kids in a theme park?

4. Potty training. Micah really is doing great with using the toilet, especially since I started him almost a full year younger than I started Ethan. I can't remember the last time I bought diapers. But he's taking advantage of me. It's like he says in his head, "Hmmmm. Mommy's laid up on the couch with a hurt foot. I wonder what'll happen if I pee on the books."

5. Sleep. Since I'm lying around all day, I'm not expending much energy, so I'm not tired at night. My brain is probably going to turn to mashed potatoes because I'm watching more TV than usual and wasting even more time on the computer. And that's saying something.

All this has made me realize that I wasn't made for sitting around. But I'm sure, like in all things, God is trying to teach me something. Patience, maybe? Loss of control? Or maybe that my problems are small. My last post was pretty dismal and this one is just whiny. But oil is spilling out of control into the Gulf and people are losing their jobs and many in Haiti still don't have homes. I am blessed because I sit here with a brace and crutches that my insurance company (partly) paid for, insurance that I have because my husband has a good job, and my belly is full and my kids are healthy and my house is air-conditioned. Ugh. I'm tired of learning this lesson. I wish I weren't so.....human.

I got my degree on Facebook!

2010-06-16T08:53:00.003-04:00

Sorry to hijack Motley Moms to rant a little, but I actually believe this is a topic worthy of a parenting discussion. While most of us reading this did not grow up surfing the Information Super Highway, our kiddos will only know the ease of Google for finding out what they need to know.

In the past few weeks a controversy has erupted on Facebook. Actually, many controversies have exploded on the social networking site, but this one in particular has caught my attention. Have you seen the icky glob the lady down in Miami found in her Capri Sun pouch?

More pics here.

I think we can all agree that, yuck, that is really icky. I wouldn't want to find one of those in my kid's juice box. When the mom who found the mass contacted Kraft, the maker of the juice, they told her they would test it. They did, and they concluded that the mass is mold, and the mold grew because the pouch had a leak. (This is true, by the way--the family confirmed that the pouch was leaking and that is how they found the object.) Kraft offered to reimburse the family for the cost of the box of juice.

Here's where things have taken an interesting turn, though--apparently the appearance of this ugly mass of yuck has turned many people in the Facebook world into biologists. Did you know it was that simple? People whose only contact with mold is with the stuff that grows on strawberries when they sit in the fridge for too long have decided that this could not be mold--it's too icky--it looks more like an eyeball, skin, (insert random body part here)...

Now, with one Google search I was able to find a picture on a blog of a similar glob found in an apple juice box made by an Australian company. There may be some masked villain touring the world's juice factories and depositing masses of flesh he removed from his victims into our children's favorite summer beverage containers, or maybe...it really is a mold that tends to grow in fruit juice.

View site here.

I'm not really bothered by boycotts against products as long as they have merit, and I think social networking sites have given consumers unimaginable power when it comes to being treated fairly. What bothers me is that I have heard several people talking about the glob off-line, and they are sure that indeed it is the missing hand of Osama bin Laden. Let people say what they will, but in this age of information, information tends to spread faster than the speed of light, and before you can say, "Don't take that perfume sample from a stranger at a gas station!" we have a new urban legend on our hands, and in some cases it may actually harm products or companies that supply jobs to our economy and have, in fact, done nothing wrong.

So, as much as I would like to think that my time spent watching Criminal Minds has prepared me to be an FBI profiler (Hey guys at the Bureau--call me if you need a hand!), I can honestly say that it probably hasn't, and on that same note, being a part of the Facebook community (or any other site) has not qualified me to be a scientist or anything else. It is my responsibility to not believe everything I read and to look into things a little before I start a crusade against them. Most of the time, a quick trip to www.snopes.com does the trick. ;)

What's my point and what does it have to do with parenting? Well, I guess my main goal here is to inspire us all to teach our kids how to find the truth no matter how enticing a legend is. Sure, it's more fun to think that the Capri Sun in question came from Hannibal Lecter's jail cell, but really, don't we want our kids to be able to decipher fact from fiction, danger from safety? There's a Facebook community devoted to some new fad where the kids are drinking alcohol WITH THEIR EYEBALLS. I'm sure they think it's perfectly fine to do so. I want our little guy to be able to say, "No, thank you, you're an idiot," when approached with such ridiculous ideas. In short, I want to train our future member of society to be, well, not a moron. Of course, I may need to get a few more Facebook degrees before I can master that completely. ;)

Fresh Produce

2010-06-15T09:34:00.003-04:00

I love the fresh produce of summer. In Florida, colorful fruits and veggies start pouring into our supermarkets early, and then we get the benefit of the northern growing seasons well into the scorching summer months when our gardens take a break. I am easily drawn to the colors and smells of the produce department and roadside stands, and nothing makes me happier to come home with bags of the good stuff. I can practically feel the health surging through my body just looking at the antioxidant-packed bounty.

And then this happens.

"John, why haven't you guys been eating the pears?" John replies, "We have pears?"

I was mesmerized in the produce department at Publix a few weeks ago, ready to buy a cartload of the good stuff, when it finally dawned on me that we don't always eat everything I buy. Actually, we often weren't eating half of it. We had the beginnings of a very expensive compost pile. I stopped and surveyed the market stand trying to determine why this was happening.

Aren't produce markets beautiful? All of the shiny apples piled high in their bins, arranged so neatly. Who wouldn't want a big, bushy pineapple, especially when it's surrounded by colorful mangoes. The yummy harvest goes into the cute little bags to be weighed, then goes home to...

the black hole that is the refrigerator.

Yes, like a coconut falling from a tree, the realization hit me that the allure of these delicacies of nature is their beauty, and hiding them in the fridge behind the cottage cheese is an insult to them, and much worse, it keeps us from enjoying them. I took action that day when I returned home, and our produce eating has improved tremendously.

1. I did a refrigerator remodel. I ditched the stuff that needed to go, and cleared out the produce bin. I pushed the grains and nuts to the back where they could still be seen but not interfere with more perishable things in the front, and I moved all of the bottle things to the door. I put organizers into the drawer so that I could wash the apples and store them in an open container so that they would be ready to be eaten at any time. Once the apples were corralled, the other fruits and veggies organized themselves neatly around them. No produce bags or boxes, just a bin of fresh stuff ready to be grabbed and eaten at any time.

2. I did a grocery list remodel. I realized that I would habitually buy lots of short-life produce, such as berries, and very little of anything that would last until my next shopping day. We would force-feed ourselves the perishable stuff for two days, and then we were out of fresh food for the week. I examine our grocery list every week now to assure that I have a week's worth of edible goodies, and we eat them accordingly.

3. I stopped buying so much produce in the first place. This is contrary to my earlier grocery shopping posts, but I have decided that certain fresh food can be purchased multiple times a week so that it isn't reduced to compost. I still budget for it, though, and I make sure that the money is in the cash envelope when it's time to replenish the produce bin.

We want to enjoy our food, not just scramble to get it eaten so that it doesn't spoil. Do you have any pointers for making the most of the summer harvest?

A Home Study and a Wedding Dress...

2010-06-14T20:19:00.003-04:00

We have been busy the last few weeks. {As I assume everyone else is since not a lot of new posts are showing up here on Motley Moms!} Our business has been mostly about our adoption for kid #2! We finalized our home study last week and we are officially on the waiting list! Hooray!! We are super excited! We are on the waiting list for a girl. The wait time will be much longer than it was with Kid #1 but we are trusting in God's timing.

Our Social Worker (SW) came to our home to update our home study from Kid #1's adoption. It is not a huge deal, but we wanted our house to be clean... I mean this person is going to help decide if we can take on another kid, so I want the illusion that our house is clean. And since she will be touring the WHOLE house, I can not just pick up the main level and leave the child safety gates up at both sets of stairways to block her from seeing the other 2 levels where I stashed all the junk from the main floor, like I usually do with company! (Oh no- now my secret is out!)

I am the WORST when it comes to cleaning! I am A.D.D. and sentimental. I will start to clean an area and I will get distracted or start looking at each item I am supposed to be cleaning and remember all the "good times" we had with it. Cleaning the photo albumn shelf is a 2 + hour job since I look through each one!

So, I was cleaning the storage closet and came across my wedding dress tote. (I stored my dress in a big storage tote with baby blue tissue paper to keep it white).... I start thinking of our wedding day and how beautiful and happy and young we were... and then I start thinking "hmmmmmmm I wonder if it still fits? " I open it up and it looks pretty and white so, I stop cleaning and try on my wedding dress.

And guess what....

IT STILL FITS!!!

After 12 years of marriage, I can still fit into my wedding dress! I go and show my husband who laughs and then tells me that I look beautiful! Good man!

Armed with new self-confidence, I was able to clean my house like never before! {don't worry, I changesd out of my dress to finish cleaning!}

Only Rose is Left...

2010-06-03T14:49:00.004-04:00

Have you ever felt like sitting on the couch all afternoon while watching a "Golden Girls" marathon and drinking yourself into a stupor? I feel like that today. I can't, however, because 1. I don't have any "Golden Girls" DVDs and it doesn't come on TV until 5, 2. I don't want to watch "Golden Girls" in front of my impressionable children, and 3. I don't drink if I'm the only adult available to take care of said children. I have the "Golden Girls" on my mind because I recently re-discovered how hilarious Betty White is and I found out today that Rue McClanahan died. That caps off our recent trio of celebrity deaths - Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper, and now Miss Rue. The death of Rue makes me sad, although I never really liked her character on the show because she's a major whore. There are a lot of things that are making me sad lately, and mowing on Saturday and Sunday didn't even make me feel better.

You see, I love mowing. It's great exercise, I get some sun (while wearing sunscreen, of course), I get a break from my kids, it's instant gratification because I can see the fruits of my labor almost instantly, and I cut the grass in small sections, which is therapeutic for my ADD brain. The biggest reason why I love mowing, though, is because I am a brooder. When I have things on my mind, I don't particularly like to talk about them (which can make therapy a little interesting, but I digress...). I like to process. Mowing, and any other "hard work," help me to process things, especially if I'm also listening to my iPod at the same time. I sometimes feel like God is speaking to me through my iPod, to comfort me, to cheer me up, to make me sort through my emotions, however negative, and to get my mind off of the stress that is in my life.

I have 3 big things going on right now. One is good - a possible move to another house - but stressful nonetheless. One is a health concern that is most likely nothing, but I've had to wait a long time to find out. Another is the Big Ugly Situation involving my mother and a lawyer. What's funny about these situations being in my life is that these are not what are making me sad today. I am sad about freaking Rue McClanahan and the fact that Betty White probably doesn't have much time left, either. I am sad because my son has ringworm - again. I am sad because it rained all afternoon and now we can't go out to play unless I want my kids to get filthy. I am sad because I'm probably the reason why my kids are afraid to get dirty.

This is probably a normal reaction. I can't really handle the big stuff right now, especially the medical thing and the lawyer thing, so I'm focusing on the little stuff. Mowing didn't help and drinking certainly won't, so I'll just stress eat today and look forward to tomorrow, when I'll at least have an answer on my medical thing. Maybe once that's over I can stop mourning over celebrities and dreaming of drowning myself in vice.

Succeeding As a Mom, Take 1001...

2010-06-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

Are you ready for my latest attempt at being an effective parent? Our son has been having trouble listening and following directions lately, and rather than going insane from repeating myself a billion times, I turned to a place where I often go when my life is in need of some order. The clip-art file.

In the aftermath of a knock-down-drag-out over bedtime rituals, I created this little display for our refrigerator:

I needed something to convey good and bad to a child who can't read yet, so I went with emoticons. Next, I searched my memory for the things that I know our son LOVES, and I made picture representations of those. Swimming, treats, tv shows, playing at the park...that kind of thing. I then pulled out my teacher stuff and made the little pictures into magnets. While he slept, I put all of these things on the refrigerator door.

The next morning, the little guy ran to the kitchen as usual, and he stopped abruptly. "What's that?" he asked. I explained that the pictures were the things he likes to do and I reviewed them with him. I then explained that if the pictures were on the happy face then he could do those things. If the pictures moved to the sad face because he didn't listen to Mommy and Daddy and follow instructions, then he couldn't have or do that thing for the rest of the day.

The first mishap involved stepping on the cat. He likes to play with her with his feet but he doesn't understand how powerful he is compared to the kitten, so we have a rule that he is not allowed to use his feet on the cat. He did it anyway just after we had discussed it, so I marched to the kitchen and moved Scooby Do to the sad face side. No boxes to check, no difficulty remembering the punishment--Scooby Do is on the sad face thus we were a Scooby Do free household that day.

Next, at dinner the little guy would not sit in his chair to eat or use a fork. He's 3 1/2, what can I say? After warning him, I marched to the kitchen and moved the picture of chocolate to the sad face. He wasn't too concerned, so I marched back to the kitchen and grabbed a few Dove squares, tossed a couple to my husband, and we ate them in front of him. I know, I know, Mom and Dad of the Year, that's us. But guess what? He understood.

So now, if his behavior isn't what it needs to be, I say, "Do I need to move a magnet?" He changes his attitude quickly. Also, I've included a variety of things he likes, so I can make a decision when I get to the pictures about the most advantageous magnet move. I try to choose what I know he cares about without shooting myself in the foot, you know? For example, if he's having a sick day, taking away Scooby Do is not the best way to go. I could, however, take away going to the park, and while I know we wouldn't have gone, he doesn't know that. All he knows is that he has lost a privilege due to his behavior.

Will this work forever? No. Already, when I moved Scooby to the dark side, he looked at the happy side and said, "So, I can still watch Max and Ruby?" We like to emphasize problem solving skills in this household, so it's our own fault. We have had some learning moments that have had positive outcomes, though, so for now it is a great success. The best part is that in the morning he is so eager to get started that he moves all of his magnets back to the happy side. Less work for me!

Hopefully this gets the creative juices flowing--do you have any tips for easy but effective discipline? Let us hear them!

Also, Happy Birthday to the queen Motley Mom, Donna! You make 35 look like the new 25 girl! :)

Lazybones

2010-05-27T07:36:00.004-04:00

We have a joke in our family. One day our cat was sleeping while the boys and I were petting her and I said, "Cameron is a lazybones!" Ethan got the giggles and now every time he wakes me up in the morning he says, "Mom, get up! You're bein' a lazybones!" It's cute, and he means nothing by it, but it kind of hits a nerve because sometimes I really feel like I'm a lazy person. However, lately I've been paying attention to my average day, and maybe I'm not so lazy. Usually my days go like this:

Todd gets me up (he's already been up with Micah for over an hour) so he can go work out. I eat breakfast, then Ethan gets up and I make him breakfast and prod him to get dressed. I get Micah dressed, make sure to get him to the potty before any accidents occur, then brush both boys' teeth. I also get myself dressed, then we head out the door to drop Ethan off at preschool. After the drop-off, Micah and I go to the Y where I work out. We go home and I "piddle" around the house - dishes, laundry, etc., stopping occasionally to take Micah to the potty and check my email and Facebook. Oh, and get him a snack and have a snack myself, if I remember. If I have time, I take a shower, then we're off to pick Ethan up. Once we get home, it's lunch insanity because I'm usually fixing 3 different meals (Micah is picky and I've encouraged it and I just don't have time today to discuss this issue). Micah then goes to bed and Ethan watches some TV or plays until I put him in front of a movie for his rest time.

This is the point in the day where I get lazy. Sometimes I move laundry along, but most days I catch up on shows on my DVR, play around on the computer, do some crossword puzzles, or fall asleep reading on the couch. There are so many things I could be doing. I could be organizing the thousands of pictures on my computer. I could be transferring old video camera tapes to my computer. I could be organizing the pile of crap that sits on our bookshelf. Sometimes I work out, if I didn't get a chance to that morning, but the truth is, I am quite selfish with this time. I don't want to do any of those things, except work out, but only because that's something I do for me, not for anyone else.

Once Micah's up from his nap, the afternoon is filled with playing, reading, going outside, breaking up fights, and cooking supper. After the boys eat an early supper we usually go to the Y for Youth Super Sports or tae kwon do or t-ball practice or Grandma's. When we get home, it's bedtime rodeo. And then I collapse on the couch again.

I don't know if it's our society or my parents or what that makes me think I have to be busy or doing something "productive" all the time. But I'm not going to feel that way anymore, dangit! I'm exhausted when bedtime comes around, and it's not because I take an hour each afternoon to rest on the couch. Today is Ethan's last day of preschool, which should give me even more time to be lazy, except that we have swimming lessons and VBS and, and, and, and...I don't think there's much time to be lazy if you're even an average mom. I also think it's okay to teach your kids to slow down and rest for a short time every day, even when you're a grown-up.

Financial Fun: Support local agriculture!

2010-05-26T11:23:00.003-04:00

My son and I just had the most fun ten minutes we've had in a while, and it only cost us $5.50.

On a whim, I drove us down the road to a building I had seen but never visited, lured only by the gigantic "HONEY" sign on the front. Once I convinced him to get out of the car, we stepped into a little room no larger than a walk-in closet, and we were greeted by a wall of honey containers in several shapes and sizes. In the middle of the room was a large box with a hole in it that read, "Honor System, Since 1937." There were posters on the walls with pictures of bees and honey combs, and lots of information about how honey is made. I picked up a 12 oz. bear-shaped bottle of honey with a price sticker that read $4.00, but my son reached for a larger bear. I inspected the bottle--it was 24 oz. for $5.50. Sometimes my math is a little slow, but the value of the larger bottle was pretty obvious! We counted out dollar bills and coins, put them into the slot on the box, and drove home with my son cradling the bear in his car seat. We conversed the entire way home about the many things we could do with our Florida Orange Blossom honey. As soon as we opened the door to the kitchen, he ran to the refrigerator, pulled out some plain yogurt and started creating his lunch. Now he's waiting for Daddy to get home so he can share with him our new honey and the story of where we found it.

So, for $5.50 my son learned about the honey making process, learned to count money, found excitement in cooking, and will practice his story-telling skills a little later today. Also, that $5.50 went straight to a family that has owned the "HONEY" building for several decades and sets an example of trusting our fellow human beings. And we got a cute bear full of delicious honey as a parting gift. I think that is quite the value for my money!

Friday morning we will go to a local blueberry farm to pick blueberries for a final time this season, and we will make jam with those berries for Father's Day gifts. When we travel this summer, we will spend most of our adventure time finding local farms where we can visit animals and find delicious produce and other farm goods. All of this will be priced considerably lower than other forms of entertainment, and the benefits, well, are just too numerous to mention!

Your challenge for the day--seek out local agriculture, and pay your farmers a visit! If you need help, this website has a comprehensive list of U-Pick farms all over the country. You'll be saving yourself entertainment dollars and possibly grocery dollars, and you'll be helping the local economy. More than that, though, you'll be giving your little ones experiences they will treasure forever!

If you know of a local (to you!) farm that is great to visit, leave it in the comment section!

Make Your Own Water Table

2010-05-24T10:39:00.003-04:00

I posted this on my Fireflies and Jellybeans blog , (that is why the water marks on on all the pics) But I thought it would work here too!

I am taking a break from the Love Budget this week because we are having fun playing outside! :)

It is getting HOT here! And that means more time outside playing with water! I would LOVE to have a water table but I do not want to spend the $30-$60 to get one... so I made my own for FREE! I had ALL of this stuff at my house and I bet you do too!

Here is what you will need to make a little water table!

One big storage tote ( This is a sweater tote 41 gallon... but use you what you have!)

Water

Cookie sheet to act as a tray

Various water toys/cups:

Measuring cups

mini-strainer

watering can

foam fish stickers

bath toys

I looked around my kitchen and bathroom for about 5 minutes and found lots of fun things

I placed my big storage tote on two outdoor foot stools (little tables or chairs would work too. Or you could just leave it on the ground!) I filled it up with water and put all the toys in to play. All done! It is all ready to play with!

You can scoop out some fish with the net (mini-strainer)

Or pour water out of the watering can

Or watch your little one have hours of fun with the water!

It was a great summer activity. My son had SOOOOO MUCH fun! He was soaking wet too, so next time I think I will put him in his swim suit!

The other great thing about this water table is that it is easy to store! Just put all of your stuff back and store some stuff in your tote and you are set!

What Do You Really Need for a New Baby?

2010-05-19T09:09:00.000-04:00

Lately, I have been barraged with this question. Weirdly, I know a lot of soon-to-be moms who are expecting their first baby. So, I have been making list of the things they really need, as opposed to what the websites, baby registries and baby gear marketers say. Here is my short list:

A place for the baby to sleep. If you are bed sharing, get a rail for your bed. If not, a bassinet for your room. A crib can come later. Personally, I have an absolutely lovely crib that has never once been used (other than for a playpen, on occasion).

A few clothes. Babies don’t care what color they wear. They outgrow newborn stuff really fast – so a small layette works. I didn’t know the gender of my children before they were born and they both like green and yellow just fine. It’s not like you can keep people from bringing ruffled underpants for your daughter or Thomas the Train t-shirts for your little guy.

Diapers and changing stuff. One pack of newborn diapers (you can get more easily if you need them but some kids hardly wear them) and some non-scented wipes are great. If you have a boy, your going want petroleum jelly (trust me). I put all that changing stuff into a basket, because I normally just change them on my bed or wherever we are at the moment. I also like those wipes that have the baby soap in them, but you don’t need many.

A car seat and/or baby carrier of some sort. Of course you need a car seat to get your child home from the hospital. Some moms like the stroller that the seat hooks into. I like a sling. Some like the front carrier. A carrier (especially hands free) is an awesome thing to have.

A few feeding accessories. If you are nursing, you’ll need nursing pads, lanolin and should consider a pump. Manual if you don’t think you need it often, and consider a good, electric one if you will be returning to work. I have a Pump-In-Style by Medela and it was worth its weight in gold. If you are not nursing, a few bottles, but not too many, some kids won’t take different kinds of nipples and you might have to try a few before you find one that works.

A swing. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t hold my firstborn 100% of the time. She loved the swing. Plus, Harvey Karp (The Happiest Baby On The Block guru) is right about the swing. It’s very calming for a fussy baby. I really love a swing. In fact, I now have 3…all from garage sales and thrift stores and my kids loved them!

What won’t you need? A bulb syringe and a pacifier (they give you those in the hospital), a themed nursery, definitely a crib bumper (they are not recommended due to SIDS) and a mobile. There are a TON more baby items that you really don’t need but might think you want. You can wait on those. Really. New babies need you, not stuff.

All right ladies, let me know, what else would you add to this list?

(To be honest, I had an ulterior motive to putting up this post today – I was embarrassed that a post about my underpants had been up for so long!)

Probably TMI

2010-05-17T08:56:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, a major event took place. It was:

a) going to see the space shuttle Atlantis lift off.

b) hosting a large get together of many of my friends and their families Saturday night.

c) kids and mom date to the movies - we saw "How To Train Your Dragon" in 3D

d) I broke down and bought myself new underpants.

Well, actually all of them are true. However, the thing I consider a MAJOR event is d) I broke down and bought myself new underpants. Girls, it was not a trip to Victoria Secret. It wasn't even a trip to a department store. It was a package of briefs from WalMart. With my kids in tow. Yes, that is pitiful. I know. The fact that I feel compelled to even write about this is just...sad. A pitiful statement about the events in my life.

While cleaning out drawers a couple of weeks ago I realized that every member of my family gets new undergarments once or twice a year - except me. I looked through my pitiful stock and saw that they sorely needed to be replaced. But, I hesitated because I just hated to spend the money. Seriously. I mean, nobody else really even sees them. What's the point? However, over the last couple of weeks I reconsidered.

So, last night on my weekly run to the WalMart, I broke down and bought a 10 pack. I came home, threw them in the washer and dryer. This morning, I feel like a new woman! Now, I just feel silly for waffling about it. But I do feel good. What a wonder some white cotton underpants can make! Who knew?

The Dreaded Virus

2010-05-13T10:21:00.003-04:00

I live in mortal fear of a stomach virus. I'm sure this has deep-seeded psychological causes; in fact, I know it does, but I won't get into that. I break out in a cold sweat when I learn that someone I or my kids have been in contact with recently has come down with vomiting and/or diarrhea. And if one of my kids starts with tummy trouble, no matter how benign, I get really freaked out. I start rationalizing it, like last summer when Micah puked milk up all over the rug in his bedroom. "Well, he was just hot and had too much milk too fast." That time I was actually right. He slept fine and we went to the beach without incident the next day, just as we had planned. One time I threw up right after supper. I was training for one of my black belt testings, so I thought, "I'm just dehydrated." I threw up again. "Okay, well, maybe I ate something bad." No one else who had eaten anything I had was sick, though. I ended up in the emergency room with an IV after throwing up every 5 minutes for 4 hours and hallucinating. That was probably an ugly virus. At least with me, though, excepting that time Todd had to take me to the hospital, I can pretty much take care of myself and I don't create too much of a mess. Then there's the added bonus of weigh loss (the last virus lost me 6 pounds, which I have managed to keep off - woot!). With my kids, however, it's a much different story. I won't even get started on the mess. I panic because I'm afraid it's going to spread throughout our entire household, so I start manic rationalization. Yesterday Ethan pooped his pants 3 times. The first two times were barely anything, the third time I had to throw away the underwear. He was eating, though, and playing, so I thought, "It must've been something he ate." I took him over to his aunt's house like normal, where he pooped his pants two more times. Still no nausea, though, the only other symptom being a cough he's had for a few days. We recently had to start limiting his apple juice consumption because it's starting to affect his teeth, so I thought, "Well, maybe his body is just adjusting." I know, I know. It sounds stupid to me now, too. Why would lack of apple juice for almost 2 weeks give him diarrhea? He pooped some more before bed, then woke up with a Pull-Up full. He's had 3 more incidents this morning and I've finally resigned myself to it: Ethan is sick. He's home from school, he's off dairy, and he's wearing a Pull-Up so I don't have to toss out anymore undies. Seriously, though, it's not a bad virus, if that's what it is. And what's the big deal about throwing away 3 pairs of underwear and using several Clorox wipes? I don't know why I do this to myself. Part of taking care of kids is cleaning up gross stuff. That's just life. I am trying to start looking at it this way - That's my baby in there getting sick. His need for comfort is a lot more important than my gag reflex. Plus, he's kind of sweet when he's sick - he just crawls into my lap to be rocked. How's that for a "physical touch" love language? :)

The Love Budget- Part 4 - Touch

2010-05-10T08:13:00.005-04:00

Physical touch is not about being sexual... it is about hugs, pats on the back and holding hands. My son is all about the physical touch. He is not comfortable in a new place unless he is touching me some how. When he is sick, hurt or sad, he wants to be held. When we are playing he wants to be sitting on my lap or close enough to touch me.

But everyone needs human contact. Every one needs a hug, a pat on the back, or kiss on the cheek. So, how do we "budget" our touches? It about having a goal that is measurable and attainable.

Assess your family's "touchy-ness" . Do you have family members who need a little more cuddles from you to get through the day. In my family my son is the most touchy, I am a very close second, and my hubby is third. So now you know where you need to focus your attention. But, just because some one does not like to be snuggled does not mean they need to be left off the list!

Now make a goal for yourself on how many times you want to hug, kiss, snuggle, pat on the back, hold hands... etc with your family members.

Here is mine: I am going to hug and kiss my hubby at least 3 times a day (When he leaves for work, when he comes home, and when we go to bed). I am going to give my hubby a back rub at least once a week (He may not be cuddly but he loves back rubs!). I am going to cuddle with my son at least 4 times a day (When he wakes up from bed, before and after each nap, and before bedtime) and hug, kiss, hold him when ever it is possible.

Most likely you are doing a lot of snuggling with your family already. It is about being deliberate about it. Enjoy the moment of it and being sure that they know that you love them!

Now we can't NOT talk about sex... I mean the whole time you have been wander if I was going to say something about it! (At least I know Karly was!!!)

Yes, sex is a very important part of marriage that can often get over looked with all the kid ciaos! Make time for Sex. This post from Karly is a great motivator! I am going to leave it up to you on how you want to "budget" you sex life! : )

Financial Fun: A Healthy Budget

2010-05-04T06:00:00.000-04:00

Not too long ago I started having some health issues that made me rethink the way I live-- especially the way I eat. In misguided attempts to save money, I was feeding myself and my family food that was sub-par as far as health goes. It has taken a while, but I have found that it is still possible to provide healthy meals in our household, even though we are on a strict budget. I have a budget of $300 a month ($350 a month when there are five shopping days).

I had to sacrifice junk to get the good food we need. We may not have "fun" foods like chips and soda, but we have a produce drawer full of colorful fruits and veggies, and a freezer full of lean meats. Our pantry is full of good stuff, too.
I have "magic numbers" when I shop. Teresa taught me this a while ago--she only buys produce when it is $1 a pound or less. This saves money, and most of the time the produce at that price is what is seasonally and locally available, which makes it even better. I will go a few cents over, but that's it. The same goes for meat. I know I can get fresh chicken tenderloins at Sam's Club for $2.17 a pound, and I won't pay more at the grocery store. If necessary, I buy lots at SC and freeze it so that we always have lean meat for meals. This week boneless, skinless chicken breasts are $1.99 a pound at Publix, so that is certainly an acceptable purchase.
I stock up on dry goods and other non-perishables only when they are on sale. I can buy whole grain pasta at two boxes for $1.39 about every six weeks. I buy it then and only then, and I buy enough to make it to the next sale.
I create a detailed shopping list before I go to the store so that I know exactly how much I'm spending ahead of time. If I'm over budget, I edit the list. I keep a running total on my calculator at the store to be sure I'm not surprised at the check out. I only spend the money budgeted for that trip. Period.
I weigh the produce before it goes into the cart. If I don't weigh it, I won't know how much it will cost.
I don't meal plan, but I do have a plan for what I buy so that I know it will be eaten. For example, not one person in my household eats carrots or celery regularly. I don't buy them anymore. I used to because they're "healthy," but that only served to enrich the compost pile. If I buy an ingredient we're not accustomed to having, I make a plan for it's use before it comes home.
Ready for the paradox? I buy the best. I never want a meal in this house to be a disappointment compared to an unhealthy meal. Spending a few bucks more on good food that will be eaten is much better than spending a few less bucks on food we will avoid until it needs to be thrown away. Like carrots and celery. :)
I ensure that what I buy will be eaten. More on budget friendly kitchen organization next week. :)

I'm sure you have some great advice on this subject, and I'm always learning, so let's hear it!

The Love Budget - Part 3- {Time}

2010-05-03T06:00:00.002-04:00

Everyday is bank account, and time is our currency. So, no one's rich, no body's poor, we get the same 24 hours each. So, how are you going to spend it? Will you invest or squander. Try to get ahead or help some one whose under? --- Chris Rice - Life Means So Much

Time is ticking away. Tick, tick, ticking away! --- DC Talk.

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. ~Dion Boucicault

I am going to be the first person to say that I should be the LAST person to write an article about spending your time wisely. (It was hard for me to find time to write it!)

I waste my time doing so many things I should not: TV, Online, sleeping (ok- sleeping is not a waste of time now... but back when I used to sleep in until 11 or 12 noon it was a waste of time!) I don't spend enough time doing the things that I should: Praying, reading the bible, cleaning my house

Mmmmm, maybe I should be writing this post to get my act together!

A while back, my pastor talked about margins. You know, the white space on a piece of paper. He side that the important stuff is in the body of the page, and people like to add stuff to the margins. But if you add too much to the margins it takes away from the body of the work. He said we need to keep the margins of our life clean and uncluttered.

We need to schedule the BIG things. The things that are good for you and your family, and get ride of the little things. We need to learn to say "no." to things that are not good our families. Sometimes good things are not good for your family. It is all about keeping your margins clear.

So, How doe we budget our time? Here is what we (The Hubs and I) came up with:

Sit down and think about how you spend a normal week. Maybe you want to keep a journal one week. Recording all each day's activities.

Now, take a good look at where you are spending your time. Highlight the things that are useful and necessary {sleep, work, eating, etc} in one color, the things that are enjoyable and manageable {reading, dates with the hubby, hobbies etc} in another and the things that are wasting your time or are not a good fit for your family in a third color.

The next step is charting out how you want your week to look for now on. You want to keep your necessary and useful things, make time for your enjoyable things and get rid of the wastes. You can do this on a piece of paper, a calender, poster board, on outlook, or in your head! Try it out for a few weeks, and then take a look at it again to see if it is working or not. Readjust as you see fit.

I know that this is not revolutionary or anything. But it is like Karly's post last week. Sometimes it is the simplest things that help us get back on track!

This World

2010-04-29T19:37:00.003-04:00

I love this world. I know I'm not supposed to. I'm a Christian; therefore, I'm supposed to be set apart and love the people in the world, but not the world. I'm in the world, not of it, etc., etc. I can't help it, though, I love this world. There are just so many great things to love about it.

1. Organized Sports: I've written before about my obsession with Alabama football, but I also love pro baseball, pro football, college basketball playoffs, golf, hockey, MMA, lacrosse, and even soccer sometimes.

2. TV: Lately I've been watching Seasons 1-5 of "Lost" on Netflix instant streaming and I'm completely hooked. It's such a terrific story and I can't wait to see what happens next. I stay confused, but I've hung in there because of the characters and writing. I love great writing.

3. Books: Speaking of writing, I sure do love to read. Right now I'm on a Frederick Forsyth kick. I love to read anything, though. My husband got me hooked on Kipling and I've always been a fan of Dickens. I even read nonfiction, and not just self-help books. I love the Bible the most, as I "should," but some secular stuff moves me almost as much as Scripture does.

4. Music: Music moves me, as well. I love hymns and praise music, but as I'm talking about what I love about the world, I'll tell you that I also love booty music and really loud rock and roll. I love Rimsky-Korsakov and Mozart and some old twangy country.

5. Movies: This is where I could really get in trouble. Well, here and with Ludacris, Jay-Z, and Eminem. Anyway, I love movies, especially raunchy ones like The Hangover and Superbad. I love to laugh. I also love science fiction, so I enjoy Star Wars and Star Trek and pretty much anything with good special effects. I like martial arts, so I also watch Jet Li and Jackie Chan movies.

Hopefully I'm not so wrapped up in the stuff I love about this world to also care about its people and to see the ugliness and evil all around me. Hopefully I can get out of my "Lost" fog and away from football games to show the love of God and really be in the world, but not of it.

4 Reasons Why a Four-Year-Old Is Like a Teenager

2010-04-22T21:21:00.005-04:00

1. He eats all day, every day, and begs for more. Today Ethan ate an oatmeal bar, milk, carrots, pizza, apple juice, snack mix, strawberries, bread and butter (2 pieces, like a butter sandwich), steak, couscous, Sprite, and more milk, and he still got out of bed to say he was hungry. I don't know how I'm going to pay the food bill when he's a teenager playing sports.

2. He is increasingly moody.

3. He is defiant. Today I said, "Put your shoes on, boys, we're going to go to Wal-Mart." Ethan said, "I'm not going to!" so I sent him to time-out. He then proceeded to STICK HIS TONGUE OUT AT ME. So I sent him to his room. When he's 14 he'll probably give me the finger.

4. He cares about his clothes. When we finally were on our way to Wal-Mart to get him new underwear, he said, "Mom, I want cool underwear. Kids at school have cool underwear."

5. He has a great sense of humor. His instructor asked him to tell a joke tonight at tae kwon do. "I don't know what a joke is," Ethan replied. "Well, then, tell me something funny." "Monkeys are funny!"

I guess the good news is that I actually like teenagers. :)

Financial Fun: Any questions? Comments?

2010-04-20T09:23:00.003-04:00

Next Tuesday we will talk about eating healthily on a budget, but today I am recovering from a weekend trip and I need to take a little break! Please take today as your day to question and comment on anything financial, and we can all join in the conversation. Thanks for your understanding!

The Love Budget - Part 2 {The Categories}

2010-04-17T09:08:00.006-04:00

Last week I posted about the idea of a Love Budget (An idea that my Hubby came up with). Here is my Hubby's post on it if you want more information on the idea.

Similar to how a financial budget has different categories, so does our Love Budget. The categories that I am going to talk about are The 5 Love Languages and God's Commands. I am going to start out talking about each Love Language (Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Service, and Gifts) separately.

Just like in a financial budget some categories have more weight than others, the same is true in our love budget. But it will be different from person to person and family to family. You have to figure out what Love Language you, your spouse and your children speak to decide which one(s) will be more important.

For example: My Love language is gifts, my Hubby's is Service, and my Son's is Physical Touch. So, those will be the a bigger focus. We will still need to budget for Words of Affirmation and Time but they will have less weight.

So your homework for this week to find out your family's Love Languages. Here are some helpful sites for you.

Love Language Test
Summery of the 5 love Languages
The 5 Love Languages Book on Amazon.

Next week I will talk about Time.

Financial Fun Part 5: Dear MM--Can you help me lower my grocery bills?

2010-04-13T06:00:00.003-04:00

This week, let's tackle a question from a reader:

Dear Motley Moms,

My family eats pretty much the same meals every week, and I buy pretty much the same thing at the grocery store every week. I buy what we need whether it is on sale or not, and it seems like we are spending too much money that way. Do you have any suggestions on how to lower our grocery bills? Thank you!

Dear Reader:

I have good news for you--you have a way of shopping that is prime for saving money with a few tweaks to your weekly routine! By doing what is called "stockpiling" (buying ingredients and foods you use often in larger quantities when they are on sale) and remodeling your grocery list a bit you should be able to lower your bills! Here's what I suggest:

1. Make a list of all of the meals and snacks your family eats and the ingredients necessary to make them. If you have more than enough favorites for a week, that's great! You will be able to take advantage of sales!

2. Divide that list into three categories: 1)Extremely perishable (like milk) 2) Somewhat perishable (foods with longer expiration dates--cheese for example) and 3) Storable (pastas, jarred sauces, canned veggies, etc.)

3. BEFORE you go shopping, find the sale circular for the store where you shop. These days, finding those online is the way to go if you'd rather not go into the store. Also, you may receive an ad with your newspaper subscription.

4. This is where your routine changes--rather than deciding what YOU want to eat that week, your ad decides for you. If there is a great deal on chicken that week, you choose to eat your famous chicken dish. If the beef is not on sale, sorry, but no steaks that week. Make your meal plan based on the sales, then add those items to your grocery list.

5. Next, scour the ad for foods you use frequently. For example, I use a ton of cannellini beans. If they are on sale for a very low price, I buy 10+ cans that week. Then, I don't buy them again until they go on sale again. Period.

Shopping this way allows you to eventually spend less on storables. There will be weeks where you only buy fresh perishable foods because you have everything else you need! A word of caution, though--be careful not to overspend the budget on stockpiling, and never buy more than you can store. Trust me on that one. ;)

If you have any advice for this situation, let's hear it! Send me any other grocery questions you may have, too. Next week we'll talk about eating healthily on a budget. This is something I'm dealing with right now, so I look forward to hearing your comments! Have a great week!

The Love Budget

2010-04-10T08:45:00.005-04:00

Rachel has been posting some AWESOME post about budgeting our money! I thought I would take that theme and put a little twist on it. This idea is really my Husband's. He is an accountant so he is a real numbers kind a guy. He came up with the Love Budget because he wanted a tangible way to think of love. He wanted to answer the questions:

How can we be rich toward God?
What is heavenly currency?
How do we earn it, and how do we spend it?

Luke 12:15 says, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." This verse implies that these riches are separate from our possessions. Luke 12: 33 speaks of "treasure in heaven", which makes me think that these riches cannot be seen, and verse 34 states, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." The word "heart" is often connected with the term of "love". This connection really helped me pull it all together. I remembered that Mark 12:30-31 contains the greatest commandments, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." The plain and simple truth is that God values love so much more than anything else. Just as a modern day currency could have its value based on gold or silver, heaven's currency is based on love.

There are a lot of ways to earn and spend love. One great book on the subject is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (I believe that he has written on for kids as well) is a great book on love. It talks about your "love tank" and how it fills up and empties out. The book talks about 5 ways to show and feel love:

Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Service
Gifts
Time

Jesus also gives us some incite on how to earn and show love to God. "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:20-22

1 Corinthians 13 also sheds some light on the subject:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

What if we were to put together a Love Budget. A tangible measurable way to earn and spend our heavenly currency (love). "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." What would the plan look like?

My Husband and I are pursuing the idea of a Love Budget. Are you interested in hearing more of our thoughts on the idea?
What ideas do you have for a Love Budget, what kinds of things would you include?

Big Boy

2010-04-08T07:19:00.004-04:00

Ladies (and gentlemen, for you hubbies out there), I no longer have any babies in my house. I've written before about how I think it's neat when my kids hit milestones and grow up, about how I didn't cry when Ethan started preschool or went from his crib to a big bed or got rid of his pacifier. And I'm here to tell you that when I said that, I was full of crap. I think the reason why none of that stuff was tough for me was because I had a baby at the time, Micah. But Micah ain't no baby no more. Tuesday we started potty training him and yesterday he only had 1 accident all day long. I can't even believe how well this is going. What I've done is pretty much stayed home and let him run around naked with the potty in the TV room. And it works! I remind him a lot, but he also goes over and pees in it all by himself. Yesterday he even pooped in it. First he pooped near it and that really bothered him, so I told him to sit and try to do it in the potty and he did. I think God is repaying me for all the trouble I had potty training Ethan. Or maybe I've just learned what not to do from how it went with Ethan. I'm really tired of doing it wrong with Ethan and getting it right with Micah. But that's a whole other blog topic. While I think it's totally awesome that Micah is peeing in the potty and sleeping in a big bed and got registered for preschool the other day, it's making me sad! His crib is still sitting out in our garage and I don't know what to do with it. What I need to do is advertise it on Craigslist and sell the thing. Or give it to someone who needs a crib but can't afford one. But there it sits in my garage because I'm too sentimental to part with it. He also got a big-boy haircut last night. It's not my sister-in-law's fault because I told her to chop it all off. It needed to be done because he keeps waking up from his nap with his head drenched in sweat. But I was not prepared for how old he would look. Check it out:

Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Where did my baby go?

Financial Fun Part 4: Back to Basics--Why bother?

2010-04-06T06:00:00.005-04:00

I'm leaving the grocery store for a week to give us a chance to examine our motives, but I would like to head back there next week. I can ramble for hours about grocery shopping, so let's tailor the next article to what you want to know! Send me your questions or leave them in the comments at the bottom of today's post, and I or one of my Motley money-saving friends will respond!

Back to High School--Long Term and Short Term Goals
I was always so frustrated when he had to write down our goals in school. Who had time to think about the future? There was too much to do now, right? Well, it turns out that writing goals is actually quite beneficial, especially when it comes to personal finance.

I think I can safely say that we all want to be financially independent, but why? Why bother with all of this budgeting and saving? What does financial independence really mean? What does it look like for you?

For me, I can't wait to be able to give away money without a second thought. Major earthquake? Here's a thousand bucks. No, thank you, I don't want any cookies, but here's a hundred bucks for your troop. Your whole soccer team needs cleats and can't afford to buy them? Send me the team's sizes. Wouldn't that be amazing? Of course, I would also love to be financially set so that if the car stops running we can just write a check for another one, or if the grass in the yard stops growing (which it has, by the way--gotta love that Florida sand), we could just re-sod the whole thing and stop thinking about it.

Those are our long-term goals. Before you get the wrong impression of me, though, you should hear my totally selfish short-term goals. I have been salivating for months over a digital SLR camera--you know, the big ones with the fancy lenses. I had the money in my hand this Christmas that was enough to buy one, but instead we put the money into our savings account to help our emergency fund project. It was so hard to do that. I've always just bought things, which is why I'm paying so much attention to our spending now, by the way, so putting off my camera purchase was agonizing. Once the emergency fund was complete, my DSLR and an iPod went to the top of my "saving for" list.

Get a Visual
And, yes, we do have a list. When we started the emergency fund project, I took a piece of note paper and wrote our goal amount at the top. I taped it to the door of the computer desk under the saving envelope (the place where I put the extra cash I don't spend each month so it can go into our savings account). Each time we made a deposit, I wrote the amount and subtracted it from the total. It was exciting to see that number go down, to be able to see how long it would be before we would finish, and then to see what we could do to accelerate the progress. The day we made the final deposit my husband printed our account summary from the computer and taped it to the tally sheet. It was an awesome day!

Now that we have accomplished that goal, we desperately need another to keep our momentum from waning. I created a list of short and long-term savings projects and added them as a second page to our MASP. Every time we make a deposit I add in the amounts so that we can see where we stand. It's exciting to see those numbers rise and fall! It's good to win those little saving battles, too. Every time we fill an account we are closer to our larger goals.

Live Like No One Else
One of Dave Ramsey's favorite statements is "Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else." Once those goals are set and the lists are posted, this is the key to success. But, what does it mean? It's different for everyone.

For us it means that we only eat in a restaurant if we have a gift card, and even then only on special occasions. I pack a cooler when we'll be out of the house at mealtime. I no longer go shopping "just to look"--I only enter a store with a list in hand and enough money to cover what's on the list. I only go to the grocery store once a week, and if we run out of something before the next trip, that's too bad. We are actually rationing milk this morning for that very reason. It means that I get to be a ninja money-saver in the grocery store. It means learning how to do things ourselves so that we don't have to pay others to do them. It also means knowing our limits so that we don't have to pay someone to come fix a mess we've made.

I realized a little while ago that indeed, some people were noticing our frugality. I noticed it because they seemed worried about us. It hit me that some people misunderstood our thriftiness--they thought we were broke! We have more cash right now than we have ever had at one time, but it looks like we're scraping every cent we can find! (Actually, I am--I'm obsessed with rolling coins!)

So, I love hearing your comments and anecdotes, but this week I want to hear how you live like no one else. Also, don't forget to send me your questions for the grocery saving Q&A! Have a great week!

But Sunday is coming!

2010-04-03T19:20:00.000-04:00

Sunday is here! Jesus is Risen!

Happy Resurrection day to you!

I love this sermon. What a great reminder to not live our life like it's Friday! We need to live like it's SUNDAY! I find myself feeling like "the world has won." But I know that My Savior lives and He has the victory!

Today to celebrate this fact I am making two special dishes:

These Resurrection rolls: These rolls look like a tomb on the outside and when you bit into them they are empty! To remind us that IT IS SUNDAY and OUR SAVIOR LIVES!

Deviled Eggs: We are going to eat them to show that the devil has lost and Jesus Christ will eat him for dessert and not the other way around !

Happy Easter!

Financial Fun Part 3B: Deal or No Deal?

2010-03-30T06:00:00.002-04:00

First of all:

Creeeeeeeeek, thud, click!

That was the sound of the vault closing on our emergency fund! We did it! :) We actually went $1.05 over our goal! It feels so good to know that we have a safety net, and now we can work towards a new financial goal. Yay!

Next, for those of you who have been commenting on these financial articles, I want you to know that I have been getting lots of feedback from our readers, and not only do they appreciate that we're discussing this, but they really appreciate your comments! There isn't a "one size fits all" equation to managing expenses, and your different experiences are giving our readers a wonderful sampler of ideas, so thank you, and keep it up!

Now, back to the grocery store!

Deal or No Deal?
I was flipping through a magazine one day where I found an article about saving money at the grocery store. I'm a bit obsessed with the topic, so I started reading. The advice was pretty typical, but one particular blurb caught my eye. The author compared the unit prices of small containers of yogurt to a 32 oz. tub of yogurt and recommended that customers purchase the larger size to save money per ounce. Sounds reasonable, right?

You are the expert when it comes to your family.
I have bought the large tubs of yogurt. I have also thrown those tubs away, unopened, when they passed their expiration dates. My family just doesn't eat yogurt if they have to scoop it out of a tub. They eat a ton of yogurt, however, if it's in the ready-to-go cups. In our house, I leave room on the grocery list for cups of yogurt and I cut back in other areas to make up for it.

Bigger isn't always better.
Of course, usually the larger the quantity or volume, the less we pay per ounce. That's the lure of the big box stores and warehouse clubs. For things we tend to use lots of, like say, olive oil, it's a great deal to buy it that way. The trouble though, is that if we spend our monthly grocery budget to buy enough toilet paper to last a year, what do we use to buy food?

When my husband and I started cracking down on our food budget when we went to one income, my solution was to only buy what we needed for the week when I went to the store. It drove me crazy to only buy a small box when a month's worth of the same product was so much cheaper per unit, but it was a good exercise for me. We stayed within budget, and we always had what we needed. Unfortunately, I took a wrong turn in my "frugality" which led to some very expensive months.

Couponer gone wild!
When I really became a "power couponer" I started taking advantage of all kinds of deals because they were, well, deals. I would find an amazing price on something that we had never really tried, and I would buy a cartload of it. I would come home with twenty boxes of diet granola bars (they were only a dollar a box!) and very little else to eat. Guess what? We didn't eat the granola bars either. At least the food bank was happy that month. McDonald's was tickled, too.

Pioneer Woman I am not.
My next craze was to buy things like dried beans and the non-boil-in-the-bag rice. They are MUCH cheaper than their easy-to-prepare counterparts. Guess what? It doesn't matter how little they cost if you never cook them, and it especially doesn't matter if they are inedible when you do. It's all wasted money, and then it's worse when the replacement costs of canned beans and Minute Rice figure into the equation.

Return to Center
I'm still a couponer, but now I only "stock up" on foods that 1) my family will eat and 2) are healthy for them to eat. I only buy foods that I know how to prepare because there's no point to storing something for a year and then throwing it away when it expires. (Just a note--I actually have learned how to cook beans and rice from scratch now, and I do it often. I do have Minute Rice and canned beans in the pantry, however, just in case.)

What am I saying?
When I make my grocery list, I do all of the things I mentioned last week, but I do keep in mind our non-negotiables (like yogurt in a cup) and I work around those. I find other areas to cut or to economize (like buying store brand brown rice instead of Uncle Ben's). I budget each month for a trip to Sam's to buy olive oil and nuts, and I keep that money separate from our weekly grocery money. Even then, we only spend 10% of our income on food (the recommended percentage is 5-15%, so I feel pretty good about that).

YOU are the captain of your grocery-buying ship, and you know your family better than anyone else. Don't be swayed by the siren songs of "good deals" and clever packaging! :)

So...this week, I would love to hear about your financial successes--did you lower your bills this week? Spend less at the grocery store? Complete your MASP? Fully fund an emergency fund?;) Let's celebrate together! Also, have you ever bought something ridiculous in the name of a "good deal?" What are your grocery buying rules? Let's talk!

Give SHARE a Try!

2010-03-28T06:00:00.003-04:00

Just thought I'd do a quick post about the SHARE program, since it is one of the main things that is helping us cut our grocery bills in half. When we pick up our food boxes once a month, we go ahead and order our food for the following month. One trip and we have enough meat for a month and enough produce for a couple of weeks. I spend around $50 on SHARE boxes and SHARE select items each month, plus about $300 a month at the grocery store.

Who can participate in SHARE? "Everyone and anyone is welcome to participate in SHARE. There are no income requirements, just a desire to make a positive difference in the world." (from the SHARE homepage)

Our March food box is chock full of good stuff. I'm so excited about planning meals and not having to grocery shop for them! Check out the menu:

March Basic Package $18.00

March Distribution Day is Saturday, 3/27/10

1 lb. Lightly Dusted Chicken Breast Strips
1 lb. Bone in Ham Steaks
10 oz. Deli Sliced Black Forest Ham
1 lb. Ground Beef 85/15
1.35 lbs. Split Chicken Breasts

Plus a Produce Pack!
1- 2.5 lb. Bag Potatoes

1 Head Romaine Lettuce
1 Bag Carrots
1 Stalk Celery
4 Sweet Potatoes
1 Bag Radishes
5 Oranges
4 Apples

We ordered 2 basic packages, which come with the produce packs, plus an additional produce pack. It's a LOT of food!

Here is a preview of April's menu, available now to order through our local SHARE host site. I'm especially excited about getting frozen blueberries for $1.70/lb from the Select menu in April. I see blueberry smoothies in our future menus!

When you go to sign up and put in your order, be sure to bring cash. It is the only accepted form of payment.

I would highly recommend you give the SHARE program a try if you're interested in cutting your grocery bill and willing to design your menus around the basic frozen meats and fresh produce in the box!

Financial Fun Part 3: Grocery Shopping--How low can you go?

2010-03-23T06:00:00.011-04:00

When my husband and I married, we both worked and we spent lots of money on food. We went to the grocery store and spent $100 easily each trip and we still went to restaurants several nights a week. We threw away produce like crazy because we didn't eat it, and our donations to the food bank were pretty amazing. When we decided to go to one salary, I was charged with finding ways to cut the budget so I went to coupons to save money. I wasted tons of money. I didn't know how to use them effectively, and I bought random "stuff" in the name of "a good deal."

I eventually became a "couponer"--sort of like one of those people you see on TV--but before that I learned how to take on the grocery store and leave with money in my pocket, and that is the conversation I would like to start today. How do we save money on food without clipping coupons?

Time for a little introspection
Ask yourself a few questions:
1. Do you throw away large amounts of produce, meat, or dairy each week because you aren't able to consume what you have?

2. Do you have expired food in your pantry that you never got around to eating?

3. Do you dread seeing how much the "damage" is when you get to the cash register at the store?

Getting ready--do a little math
How much do you actually spend on food? Write down your best estimate. According to many financial experts, the food budget (including grocery shopping and restaurants) should be 5-15% of your total income. Take a minute to calculate how much of your income that would be. How do those numbers compare to what you actually spend? You may want to set a goal of lowering your grocery receipts to put you into the correct percentage range, and if you already spend in that range you may want to try to go even lower still.

How low can you go?
Lowering your food bills is like doing the Limbo. We don't start out two inches from the floor and expect success. Start where you are, then gradually lower your budget until you are spending what you want while still comfortably feeding your family.

Time to shop! Well, in a minute.
Now that we have a goal, it's time to plan to save. Here's what I suggest:

1. Pick a store, and shop there. Choose "your" grocery store based on where you believe you get the best deals overall, how practical it is to shop there, how much you like the staff there, etc. At one time I store "hopped" to get all of the good deals, and I tired of that pretty quickly. My bills are actually much lower now that I only shop at one store, Publix. Only shopping at this one store (one location, too) has allowed me to develop a friendly relationship with the staff as well, which means they are more likely to help me if I need assistance.

2. It's been said a hundred times already, but do not go into that store without a list. Also, estimate how much what is on the list will cost you. Would we buy a house without knowing how much it was going to cost until closing? A car? A car should only cost 10-15% of our income, roughly the same amount as food. If the cash register total is a constant surprise, that's like going to a car dealership, picking out the car we think we want, then going to the front desk and saying, "I'll take it! How much do you want for it?" If it's your first time estimating on your shopping list, estimate high so that the only surprise will be a pleasant one. As you continue to do this your estimates will be more specific and the process will be easier.

2b. I won't go into much detail, but treat your list with care. It's good to have a plan for everything you will buy, and be realistic about what you plan to purchase. Will your family actually eat it? Do you know how to cook it? Do you have time this week to actually cook it and eat it? Can it be frozen if necessary? Is your freezer big enough to hold it? (There is an awesome deal on frozen pizza this week at Publix, but I'm going to restrain myself because my freezer is just too small to hold them.)

3. Take the following to the store: Your list, a writing utensil (I've used a crayon before because it was the only thing in my purse!), a calculator, and your method of payment. As you shop, cross off the list what you buy, make note of any prices you may have mis-estimated, and keep a running total of how much you are spending. Be aware of how much money you have with you if you are paying in cash. Only buy what is on your list. (I do make an exception for milk, bread, and eggs. I am always forgetting to put them on the list, and they are necessary.) If you see something you would like to try, put it on the list for the next trip and include the price. Now you have something to look forward to! ;)

4. Wanna go hard core? Only take the amount you plan to spend in cash, and take no other forms of payment. It takes attention and calculation on your part, but those chocolate bars are nowhere near as tempting when you think you may be short at the cash register if you buy them. When I do this, I actually end up taking things off my list that I don't really need just so that I can stay under budget. It's a challenge, but it's kind of fun, too.

Afraid of getting strange looks from other customers? According to Thomas J. Stanley in his book The Millionaire Next Door, the majority of millionaires in this country are self-made, first generation millionaires who got that way by living well below their means. Seizing control of grocery bills is propelling your family toward unprecedented wealth. The next time someone gives you a funny look at the grocery store because you are actually paying attention to what you're buying, look at that person's overflowing cart of "stuff," smile sympathetically, and think to yourself, "You poor thing. You probably paid WAY too much for your car, too."

Next week let's stay in the grocery store. We'll play Deal or No Deal and tackle a few money-saving myths. Until then, let's hear your tips for how you have lowered your grocery bills!

So Long, Farewell

2010-03-22T20:00:00.003-04:00

Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

I hate quiting almost anything except diets, of course. In fact, I had to quit my high school job at Claire's twice. The first time, my boss talked me out of it.

Sadly, my time at Motley Moms has come to an end. I would really like to sugar-coat this by saying, this is just a break; but the truth is, it is time for me to move on. My wonderful little boy keeps me busy in ways that are quite different than what most typical families face. I hope to find a place to share my stories with other special needs families.

I wish you all the best of luck, and please keep in touch on Facebook or via email! I am so glad our paths have crossed.

Love, Pam

Siblings

2010-03-20T10:01:00.005-04:00

I am excited to announce that My Hubby and I handed in our paperwork for our reapplication for adoption! We have had the paperwork since November and FINALLY finished it! It is A LOT harder to work on paperwork when you have a 2 year old running around! : )

Now we have to wait for our background checks to get back to the agency and we will be matched up with a social worker(SW). We just have to meet with the SW once to update our homestudy and we will be on the waiting list!

I have a cute story about the process so far:

I had some of the paperwork sitting on the table while our Little King was eating lunch. "What's that?" he says pointing to the paperwork.

"Oh that is paper to help us get you a sibling." I tell him

"Ohhhhhhhh.... sibbing!" He says.

"Do you want a sister?" I ask

"Ohhhhh Sister!" he says

"Or do you want a Brother?" I ask

"No, no... no brother!" He tells me.

Hmmmmmmmm do I take the advice of my two year old and go on the girl list?!?

We get to choose if we want a boy or a girl, which sounds great except that it is a REALLY hard decision! I mean I am choosing if my son has a brother or a sister and that means I am choosing if my son does NOT have a brother or a sister. It is a hard choice. I loved having a sister to share a room with, but I also loved have brothers too!

Later I asked him the same questions about a brother or a sister and his reply was: "No brother, no sister!" (which I think is the more honest answer!)

I hope all you Motley Moms in Florida are having fun with Karly this week... I am not going to lie to you...I am jealous!

Financial Fun Part 2: Cash on the Barrel and the Saving Game

2010-03-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

Since we were married, my husband and I have tried different methods of spending for our household. For a while, we put all of our purchases on our Discover Card and then we paid our bill at the end of each month. In theory, it's a fine idea, but we have a little problem--we don't mind spending money if we can't see it disappearing. Our credit card bills climbed each month as we threw lunches with the office and cupcake sprinkles onto our plastic, and we finally decided that we just couldn't go on that way and expect to achieve our financial goals.

So, our solution is a cash budget for our monthly spending. We were, as always, inspired by Dave Ramsey's envelope system, but over time we have personalized it to fit our family. The following document shows the categories of our envelopes, and they are taken directly from our MASP:

Our Envelope System

This is what I did:

1. I created the system using a coupon organizer, envelopes from the bank, and some paper clips. Each envelope is labeled with an item from the MASP.

2. I arrange the envelopes into sections that make sense to me, and that is not always how they are organized on the MASP. For example, in my organizer I put our Sunday School offering and church dinner money into the same section because they are both paid at church.

3. Each month after I have set the monthly spending plan I total the amount of cash I need (Excel does this for me nicely) and write myself a check for the exact amount.

4. (This is where I may lose some of you, but I promise this is not hard at all.) I make a list of the bills I need. For a category that needs $35, I write down 1-$20, 1-$10, 1-$5. I do this for each category and then tally the amount of each bill at the end. I give this list to the teller when I cash my check. (I have cashed my check both inside the bank and out, and they have NEVER said a word about my list, by the way. When I asked them, they said lots of people do it.) All in all, if you can count money, this step will take about five minutes.

4b. I actually organize each folder by bills. Our grocery budget is $50 per week (not a typo, by the way) and I include $100 for "stocking up" on good deals along the way. I have one $50 bill for each week, and I keep the "stocking up" money paper-clipped together in the same envelope so that it doesn't get confused.

5. Each envelope is sacred and used ONLY for it's intended purpose. If I run out of gardening money, too bad. I will have to budget more wisely next month. Also, once the money is gone it is gone for the month. We do not allow extra purchases to be charged.

**Just a note, we don't use the cash system to pay for gas. It's too hard with a little one in the car, so we pay at the pump with our debit card.

Now, these are the little games I play to save more money:

1. I don't spend change. If I receive coins as change after a purchase I keep them separate from the envelopes and put them in a jar when I get home. Each month we roll our coins and deposit them into savings.

2. I taped an envelope to the door on our computer desk and labeled it "Extra Savings." Until January each month I paid for a cardio kickboxing class. Because of childcare issues I can no longer go to this class, but because we were doing fine spending the money I decided to keep it in the budget. When I fill my envelopes each month I just put that money into the savings envelope in order to entice me to save even more.

3. Each week, if I don't spend the entire amount allotted for groceries I put the leftover bills in the savings envelope. I do this for everything except the clothing category because I consider that to be more of a savings envelope for those purchases. This practice unleashes the competitive spirit in me, and by the end of the month I have managed to save about $100-$200 above our initial savings deposit.

Many financial experts agree that the best way to build wealth is to spend less than you make. Even though I don't bring a formal salary into our household, I can still see our emergency fund filling each month thanks, in part, to my vigilance over the cash budget. It's exciting!

What works for you? Any questions, comments? Let's keep the financial conversation going so we can all win!

Next week, let's save money at the grocery store without clipping coupons!

L-Dub

2010-03-11T17:04:00.002-05:00

I think I've posted before about how when I graduated from college I wanted nothing more than to get out of Lake Wales. I did, too, for a month, before I was offered a job here I couldn't pass up. I was never able to "get out," and then I met my soon-to-be husband and the rest, as they say, is history. Now, though, I love Lake Wales, and I thought this week I'd share with you some of the things I like about this small town in central Florida.

1. Orange blossoms - Yes, they make me sneeze, but they smell heavenly. I especially love driving around in 75-degree sunny weather in February and March with the windows down, smelling these gorgeous flowers.

2. Sandhill cranes - I regularly see them feeding in my yard, which delights my boys to no end.

3. Oranges on the road - I love to try to run them over. They make a fabulous "squish."

4. Plant City strawberries

5. the Lake Wales Art Show

6. Fat Boy's Barbecue - no ambiance, iffy service, but the food is cheap and the sweet tea can't be beat!

7. Circle of Friends - A ministry in our town for mentally handicapped citizens. I am amazed that this organization exists and thrives in such a small town.

8. The Care Center

9. MOPS - We have a very accepting group here, which, I have learned, isn't true everywhere.

10. Bok Tower Gardens

Any more I've forgotten?

You Know You're a Motley Mom When...

2010-03-10T06:12:00.001-05:00

My aunt recently emailed me some news that would make most grocery shoppers' blood run cold. Not to make light of someone else's tragedy, but this is my actual, rather motley stream-of-thought email response to her note that "last night's murder/suicide was at MY Publix!"...

Donna: Oh my gosh! I hadn't heard anything about it here. That's scary. I wish our Publix filled online orders for pickup. That would be awesome. I'd never have to drag our two kids through the grocery store again...my own grocery nightmares actually never involve murderers. Just really whiny kids who think popping the air out of the bag of frozen peas and watching how far they scatter is what grocery shopping is all about. Aaaargh! Actually, B was trying, unsuccessfully, to be a good helper by getting the peas out of the freezer section for me. But he spent too long doodling on the inside of the foggy freezer door and when I snapped at him to "hurry up and get the peas!" he grabbed them a little too hard and, "POP!" Then he realized he could "ice skate" down the aisle on the frozen peas. Yep, we are awesome everywhere we go.

Just thought I'd share that little exchange, since you have probably had plenty of your own "Grocery Nightmares" over the years. Don'tcha just love shopping with the kids?!

Financial Fun Part 1: The MASP

2010-03-09T10:09:00.006-05:00

Today I am going to start a series of posts about managing home finance. I am a devoted fan of Dave Ramsey, so most of what I tell you is what I have learned from him and others like him such as Larry Burkett and Thomas J. Stanley. I'm just going to tell you what is working for us, and I invite you to share your own successes. Hopefully through a friendly and helpful discussion we can help everyone reach the financial goals that are specific to each of us.

Our current financial goal is to put 3-6 months of expenses into an Emergency Fund Savings Account, so we are focusing on saving money. Creating a cash flow plan (AKA a "budget") has truly helped us use our money more wisely and we have been able to find extra money every month to put towards our goal. We call it our Monthly Allocated Spending Plan, and for the sake of typing I will refer to it as our MASP from this point onward.

Google Doc of Our MASP

We started our financial renovation with a MASP from the appendix of The Total Money Makeover. It was a great start, but over the months we have been able to modify that document and now we are saving more than ever, we have money for what we need, and we rarely feel like we have to pass by something we really want. (You should know that we have modified our approach to purchasing also, but I will discuss that in a later post!)

The main thing that has helped me manage our MASP is including the recommended percentages for each spending category. I put the recommended percentage next to the category, and because I use Excel for our MASP I created a formula for each category to calculate the percentage of the amount we are actually spending. This has truly helped me to see if we have any overweight categories--for example, our utility expenses are usually high due to a couple factors, one of which is the amount we spend on TV, Internet, and Phone. Since it's so obvious that these are issues when I see the percentages, this is something we will definitely tackle when our contracts are up this summer.

This is my monthly strategy:
1. Determine as accurate a picture of our income as possible, including salary, travel reimbursement, etc.

2. In our family, we do choose to tithe, so before anything else is paid we deduct the tithe amount.

3. We put at least 10% of our net income each month into savings, so I start with that figure. As I calculate down the list I add as much to that as I find.

4. Next is housing and utilities. The mortgage does not change, but utility bills can change drastically in our area due to the crazy weather, so my plan of attack there is to always budget for the highest utility bill we have ever received (that is the second reason our percentage is high in that category). Again, our goal is to save, so not only are we prepared for the worst case scenario of energy bills, but when our bill is not as high (which is most of the time) we are able to deposit the difference into savings. I think you'll see that I use the tricking-myself-into-saving approach quite a bit!

5. Next, I check my calendar. My calendar is my all-time necessary tool for giving our money names. I look for meetings, appointments, fees that are due, the number of grocery shopping days in the month, the number of Wednesday night church dinners, the number of Sundays for our son's offering...all of those expenses are recorded at the beginning of the month so that on that last Tuesday of a five-Tuesday month we aren't struggling to find grocery money.

6. Last month I realized that I was spending money every month on certain things, but I wasn't specifically allocating money for them. I added Gardening and Newspapers to my list, and now I'm not digging through the change jar to buy fertilizer and papers!

7. For what is left of the month, I consider the other categories like entertainment and clothing. This month is Spring Break, so I have added more to our entertainment budget than usual. At the beginning of the school year I will need more money for clothing. Again, I keep all of these allotments within the suggested percentages.

8. Finally I identify any expenses that can be paid in cash, and I highlight those in yellow. I write myself a check for these, and I put the money into our envelope system to be used as needed throughout the month. I will go into detail next week on managing and really working the cash envelope system.

Budgeting is just giving money a purpose and a name, and it has truly helped us to put our funds where they need to go. I hope this helps!

The Marriage Ref

2010-03-06T06:00:00.002-05:00

Have you seen the new TV show: The Marriage Ref? It has REAL life couple fighting and then a panel of "experts" (funny celebs that make fun of them like: Kelly Ripa and Jerry Seinfeld) give advice to the "ref " and then he declares the winner.

Sometimes that is what me and my Hubby need... some one to declare a winner and then we can move on! So today we are letting the Motley Moms be our Marriage Ref!

Here is what we are arguing about.... the taste of Ketchup... is it more salty or sweet?

My Hubby says it is salty. He looked at the back label and it is 9% of your sodium and it has salt listed as an ingredient.

I think that is is more sweet. There is sodium in pop and that is not salty. Also there is Fructose corn syrup listed BEFORE the salt on the ingredients which is sweet... and tomatoes are a fruit which has a little bit of a sweet flavor.

My Hubby's come back is that I am a salt lover so, my salt taste is off... it does not taste salty to me unless it is REALLY salty.

My come back is, yes, I am a salt lover... BUT he is a sweet tooth so I can use the same argument for him and the sweet taste.

So, this is where you come in. We decided that we will put up a poll and what ever you decide will stand!

Please help us! : )

Of Privacy and Nakedness

2010-03-04T16:59:00.004-05:00

I knew it was time to start demanding privacy when using the bathroom or showering when Ethan started asking, "Mom, where's your penis?" Of course, I had to get another opinion, so I asked my friends at the playpark one day, "How old are kids when they need to stop seeing you naked?" "Three," was the unison response, so I've really been trying to keep it under wraps, especially with Ethan. It's hard, though, being the only girl. The other 3 people in my house can and enjoy running around naked (what is it with males and nudity???), but I have to beg for privacy. The other day I was sitting on the toilet with the door closed and Ethan walked in. My response? "DUDE! Privacy! Please!" Now I have to be careful of second base, too, though. The other day Ethan walked in while I was putting my bra on and said, "Mom, what are those?" I'm attempting nonchalance because I don't want my kids to think the human body is a dirty thing and I believe in using the "real" terms, so I said, "They're called breasts. Ladies have them." "I have those!" "No, you don't. You have nipples, but you don't have breasts." "Mom, what are nickels?" Oy. Fortunately, the conversation ended there. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to start being modest in front of Micah, too. He's potty training (using that term very loosely) by sitting, unlike Ethan, who used a child-sized urinal, so I'm constantly telling him to "push your penis down" so he doesn't hose down the bathroom. The other day he and I were home alone so I left the bathroom door open and he came in. "You goes poots?" "No, just pee." "You pee the potty?" "Yep." "Push it down!" OY.

What ever happened to house calls?

2010-03-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

It's my day to post, but after three totally sleepless nights, I have very little to contribute. Our little one had a fever of 105.1 on Monday. Scary. It's apparently viral, so all we can give her is tylenol and motrin to help her manage the fever. In the meantime, she is coughing and gagging constantly, so we aren't getting any rest at night (I have her in bed with me and Paul is taking the couch...none of us are sleeping!). Just so you know, a temp of 105 is apparently not as bad as they used to think, especially if it responds to a fever reducer such as ibuprofen. Organ damage begins to occur at temps of 107-108, which our pediatrician says he has never seen in his whole career.

On our way to our pediatrician's office (the next town over), I realized I couldn't see anything in the center of my vision. And as I drove along, the "hole" in my vision was getting bigger and bigger. I was getting a migraine. So, knowing that we had a last minute appointment at the end of our doctor's office hours, I had to turn around and go back to LW to get my husband from work (on his busiest day of the month, no less) so he could drive us all to the doctor. Meanwhile, our little one is panting fast, totally flushed from high fever, coughing and gagging in her carseat, and her eyes are glazed over. I was so afraid she was going to have a seizure from this high fever! We made it to the office in time (I called and let them know we were on our way but running late...they always appreciate the call), and by the time the doctor finally saw us, our little girl was finally starting to perk up and respond to the dose of Motrin I gave just before we left the house.

We really just need some rest! Hopefully, tonight's the night.

I'm cancelling Musikgarten class today...something I really hate to do! But I'm thinking the whole family could use a quiet afternoon and early bedtime. I'm tired, my throat hurts, that migraine is still lurking behind my eyes, and Big Brother is all stuffy and froggy today, too. We are all just in rough shape. Nobody really needs to be around us at this point. I guess I better start calling my Musikgarten friends....

Of planting and sowing...

2010-03-02T09:59:00.002-05:00

I'm a little obsessed these days with two things--gardening and finances. Gardening because I have such a hard time with it, and finances because we're really starting to make great strides with those. I think it's a balance issue.

Gardening frustrates me because I have so many problems doing it successfully. Being a master gardener is my birthright. My grandfather would graft a branch from one tree to another when I was little and it would create a new breed of fruit. His vegetable garden fed his family. My mom has beautiful flowers every year. My great-grandmother could start an entire rose bush from one rose. My great-aunt and her husband have a massive vegetable garden every summer that keeps them eating yummy and healthy veggies year-round. Me, I can kill mint. Show me someone else who can do that--I dare you. Maybe that makes me somewhat successful, but not in the way I would prefer.

This year, I'm planning to garden like a mad woman as soon as these chilly temperatures are finished down here in Florida. For those of you laughing at that statement, let me just say that while you are happily growing things in the summer, we could roast veggies in our gardens (I've done that before, too) so we have to get our plantings done early to beat the heat. Time is running out, but these cold fronts are not and I'm thinking that maybe I can blame this year's gardening failures on something besides an inept gardener. We'll see.

Otherwise, we are rocking our Dave Ramsey cash budget envelope system and because of that we are finding more and more money every month that we can use for our financial goals. I used to think that there was no way our income would be enough to become financially independent, but it's clear now that indeed, a family's income is it's number one wealth building tool if it's used properly. It has taken a few months of fine tuning, but each month we save more, spend less, and live better. It's really fun!

So based on all of that I would like to start writing to a theme this spring, and I want your input--do you want to discuss life outdoors in the garden or family finances? Or should I just shut up and tell potty-training stories? ;) Let the people speak!

Mixed Metaphors of Motherhood

2010-03-01T12:08:00.007-05:00

Lately, situations around our house have left me thinking, "This is the stuff only cockroaches survive." My THIS is motherhood - everyday life - or more specifically our lives. Jon and Kate had one thing right, "It may be a crazy life, but it's our life." We have spent the better part of the last two weeks in meetings at school and at specialists to come up with some plans to help Alex be his best. It is a constant balancing act between picking your battles instead of fighting over every issue, and being tactful and assertive instead of being offensive and demeaning.

Picture me as a street performer at Mallory Square in Key West. Who knows why, but I have decided to spin plates. Oh, how I would love to be in Mallory Square right now!

Plate one - advocating for my child's education. It's a swirly plate representing lunch recess, speech therapy and school lunch. I want Alex to be happy and enjoy life. I truly do not care about how smart he is, but I do expect the school to do what they can to help him do his best. They think I am an overachiever who can't handle the fact that my son might be average. BTW - the THEY is his teachers at our public school.

So add in another plate. I see the shortcomings of his current education yet my husband teaches for the same school district. As my son fake farts in my face, which he learned at school, I can't help but complain all the while I am using their pay to provide a roof over our head!

Plate three - my husband coaches varsity basketball. It is a little known fact, but everyone in the world knows more about basketball than the coach, and they are quite happy to say so. Last Thursday, I was sandwiched between my husband's team (we sit right behind the bench) and some loud angry fans from the other team. Alex was clinging to my lap usually crying because his dad was yelling at the guys, or he was hungry or he wanted to go on a walk. My hands were pressed firmly over hears the WHOLE time. The fans behind us spent most of their time criticizing my husband to the point where I was going to have to confront them. I said a silent prayer asking God to help them be quiet or to give me the courage I needed. Fortunately, I didn't have to say anything, but I am not going to let some stranger put down my son's father in front of him. Ironically, we sit behind the bench because it is the best place to avoid most of the criticism.

Plate four - dishes, cooking, cleaning, paying bills all to be done in the four free hours I have while my son is at school.

Plate five - stress eating. I could really use some comfort food to help me balance all of these other plates, but if I eat enough chocolate to make all of this other stuff right, I will not have any clothes to wear!

Plate six - exercise would really help me deal with some of this stress, but plate four is really tricky and takes a lot of time to balance.

Plate seven - I really just want to have fun with my child. I want to bake cookies and play with toys. I want to teach him to read and blow bubbles in the house. Yet, everyday life creeps in. We get up late and are rushing for school. Before 8:30 on most days I am apologizing to him or he is apologizing to me. He will only be five once, and he now has to ability to remember things! I only get one shot to make this a fun time in his life. Yet, I can't bake cookies everyday. See plate five!

Plate eight - my taxes have not started figuring themselves, so I guess I need to work on that too!

Plate nine - money. I am so lucky to stay at home, but that means money is really tight right now. A quick fix to a lot of our problems would be a little more cash. I could buy more clothes if I ate too much chocolate. I could hire my own speech therapist. I could pay for a personal trainer to help me work off the chocolate, and so on and so on.

Plate ten - my Norton antivirus software has expired and is holding all of my online passwords hostage! I need to pay my bills online but can't remember my log in ID or password. I can buy the new version of Norton, but I am waiting until it goes on sale, see plate nine. Must call bank soon!

I can share this with you because I know all of you are also keeping a handful of plates spinning above your heads too. Some of our plates are different, some are the same. Some of us have very large heavy plates that threaten to crush our families. For you, I am saying extra big prayers that you can keep those plates spinning for as long as it takes. I am thankful that my plates are small and manageable, but I am still tired. I am like a salmon constantly swimming upstream, and I just want to stop and enjoy the swim for a while.

Now, I am trying to learn how to drop some of these plates. On Saturday, I went out for a day alone just to be by myself. I went shopping in Iowa and had to cross a very scary bridge to get there. I had a great day, and it was great to forget about the plates for just a short time.

Sometimes it good to be the MOM!

2010-02-27T19:25:00.002-05:00

Have you seen the new McDonald's happy meal commercial?

It starts out with a Mom and Dad at McD's buying food and happy meal. Suddenly the dad grabs the happy meal and takes off running down the street (apparently they live in NYC) , the dad gets stopped by a minivan, who almost runs him over, and the mom grabs the Happy meal and runs ahead.

They continue to run through the streets of the city grabbing the Happy meal from each other until they get to an apartment building, the dad has the happy meal and is in the elevator going up and the mom just misses it and has to take the stairs.

The next shot is the dad coming into the apartment triumphant with the happy meal and hands it to his son. The son looks up, as the mom is coming in behind the dad, and says "WOW! Thanks Mom!" and the dad lowers his head and says "your welcome." the mom has a big smile! :)

Yes, it is sometimes good to be the mom!

We laugh at the commercial because it is so true at our house. Our little kings looks to his mommy for everything and it leaves daddy feeling a little left out at times. Other times, like when there is a dirty diaper to be changed, Daddy is perfectly happy to be left out!

I know that soon my little boy will identify more with his dad but for now it is good to be MOM! : )

Long Day

2010-02-25T19:59:00.003-05:00

I've had a long and hard day, and the majority of it was spent without my children. Does anyone else feel like their children are an anchor for them? I know that sounds kind of scary, like I'm too dependent on them, but that's not what I mean. I just feel kind of untethered without them, especially if I'm having a hard time. I spent today doing something unpleasant, expensive, and, as it turns out, pointless, and I missed time with my kids doing it. A couple of months after my dad died it was my birthday and I went to Vero with some friends to go kayaking for the day to celebrate. I had fun, but I felt funny without my kids. I felt untethered, unanchored, like I was going to fly away like a popped balloon. When I got home to them I felt safer and more grounded. Maybe that's what it is - my kids force me to be responsible and "with-it," so when I'm with them I'm more grounded. It just seems strange, is all. I remember when I was 11 and my great-grandfather died. When my parents and I got to the funeral, my grandmother was there and she hugged me and cried and it seemed as if it was such a relief to her that I was there. I remember thinking, "How weird. She needs me? I'm only 11!" But now I get it. When I got home today my kids were at Fat Boy's with the extended family and I didn't feel at home until they were. Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I crazy? Wait...don't answer that.

Really?

2010-02-23T15:23:00.003-05:00

Hello--long time, no blog. I can't give you a great reason for my absence and tardiness in posting, but it has been an interesting few days/weeks.

First, our computer crashed. Thank you, thank you to Karly and everyone else who suggested that we get an external hard drive because we did and we only lost one month's worth of data, not an entire five years. It was a few days before we made it to the computer store, so I was off-line for a little while. That led to...

the potty-training of our anti-potty-training son. The weather was bad, we had no appointments on the calendar, and I had nothing to distract me, so we dug in our heels and and I am happy to say that the little guy now wears underwear unless he is sleeping. Woohoo! :)

This is what is on my mind today, though--I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the expectations of others (particularly people who do not live in my house). You know, I volunteer, I send cards, I try to help where I can when I can, but I'll be honest--it seems like nothing is really "enough" anymore in some areas of my life. Can anyone relate to that? It may just be part of being a mom and living in the stay-at-home mom culture, but it's frustrating. I mean, sure, I could probably do more, but I don't really WANT to. How do you draw the line in your activities?

Well, that's all I have for today. Hope you're having a great week!

Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong, Where the Eagles Cry...

2010-02-22T06:00:00.001-05:00

"Even the youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

~ Isaiah 40:30-31
One of our favorite winter pastimes has been watching the eagles. We live about 10 miles from a beautiful Lock and Dam on the Mississippi River. Each January and February, the eagles migrate here because the open water from the dam enables them to fish. Some years, people have counted over 600 eagles in the immediate area. On our side of the river, there are usually only about 10-15. We love watching them soar.

This is a frozen wetland between the river and the path we take through the woods. Mom, see how much land is between us and the Mississippi River? The river is on the far right, and our trail is on the far left on the other side of the trees. She has been afraid for weeks that we would slip and fall in to the frozen water. I guess Moms never quit worrying no matter how old their children are.

The last time we went, the snow had melted and then froze over again. Our trail was a solid sheet of ice. My husband and son had a ball sliding on the ice.

I love this picture of the outhouse. Let's hope I will never have to use it!

Here is another shot of an eagle. My camera is very basic, so this is about as close and detailed as I can get. On our first trip to the dam, we met a man who drove down from Chicago. He had a GIANT camera. He was a professional. The last time we were there, we met a man who flew all the way from California just to see our eagles.

So does anybody have any eagle questions? dam questions? :) Sorry, I couldn't resist!

I Heart the Olympics!

2010-02-20T09:55:00.004-05:00

Have you been watching the Winter Olympics this week? I love the Olympics! Either Summer or Winter, I have my favorite events. For the winter it is the figure skating, downhill skiing, and snow boarding. It is AMAZING what people can do! I am always impressed by the training that these athletes go through to get to the Olympics.

I get so into each event that I watch. I find myself acting like I am a judge "oh, that is a half a point deduction!" Even though I could NEVER do what they do! I also love to cheer for the USA team, sometimes that means that I hope the competition will fall or make a mistake (I know, I am not perfect!) And I always get teary eyed when the national anthem is played when US wins gold.

But I think my FAVORITE part of the Olympics are the inspirational stories of the athletes. So many of them over came so many obstacles in there life to get to the Olympics it makes me feel like I can do ANYTHING!

What is your favorite part of the Olympics?

One More Random Thought

2010-02-17T14:31:00.005-05:00

I am sorry for posting on today - not my day but someone else's. I just remembered my one other random thought.

8. Have you seen the ads for American cheese professing how great it is, and that it is a cheese Americans can be proud of? Really, do we collectively as a nation want to be known for American cheese? Sure, our kids probably eat their weight in it each year, but as far as cheese goes, is American the taste and quality that we want to be known for?

Random Thoughts

2010-02-15T19:33:00.006-05:00

We interrupt this regularly scheduled post to bring you some random thoughts. Due to the snow storm last week and a 4 1/2 day weekend, I haven't had a lot of alone time lately. As a result, you should not expect this post to be profound or insightful. I will, however, share with you a few of the random thoughts floating around in my head.

1. Kids seem to move at only two speeds - slower than you would like and faster than you would like.

2. The Dave Matthews Band formed 20 years ago - in 1990. Let this sink in for a minute. Hey, wait, I remember their first album. That was in 1990, hmmm, but 1990 was just a few years ago. They can't be that old. They're too cool to be old. Pause to do math in head - then to quote Penny from The Big Bang Theory, "Holy crap on a cracker." 1990 was 20 years ago. Wait a minute, that would make me.......almost 20 years out of high school?!

3. This weekend we were waiting at a gas station to, of all things, get gas. All of the pumps were full, so we were waiting behind this car. The man pumped the gas and went into pay. After waiting five minutes, we noticed there was a lady sitting in the drivers seat just sitting there! She just kept waiting and waiting. Finally, some of the pumps on the other side opened so we went over there while she continued to wait. After they finally decided to move, they needed to get air in their tires. I really wanted to block them in for about 10 minutes, but of course I would never do that. Wouldn't that have been funny? I have a really dark alter-ego, but I do my best to keep her hidden.

4. A mother's love is fierce and is exemplified in a mother sea turtle. She treks, voyages and journeys across the open seas year after year to return to the same beach to lay her eggs.

5. Lately I find myself saying everything twice to doctors, teachers at school and even friends. I am not sure why that is, but it seems like I am saying everything twice :).

6. Per Psychology Today in a 2004 study, the average woman uses 7,000 words per day. I am convinced that we are only repeating the same few words over and over: No, Stop, Please, Don't and Potty (not necessarily in that order).

7. Finally, if you would like to feel better about yourself, make sure to check out Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. This season stars Bobby Brown, K-Fed, and Sebastian Bach.

Since this post lacks wisdom, motherly advice or tips for better living, please feel free to share with the group. Happy Monday!

2 Year Old Construction Birthday Party

2010-02-13T09:14:00.004-05:00

This week my Baby turned two! It is wonderful and sad all at the same time! He is getting to be independent, able to communicate what he wants, plays great with toys! But he is also getting a little attitude, throwing tantrums, and acting a little demanding! Ahhhhhh, the terrific- terrible twos!

We had our Little Kings Birthday party last weekend. I like to have a theme when I am working on an event... it seems to focus me a little. So when I found this tool belt tutorial I was hooked! I made the tool belt for him for Christmas and we got him some toy tools...and recycled a toy tool bench from my brother's family! Now we had the starting of a fun construction party!

Here is what we did!

Invitations:

The rule is: if you ask people to dress up for your party - You have to dress up!

Here we are as construction workers!

Decorations: I used the Caution Tape from Home Depot as streamers

I used one of my Hubby's work tables to display the cake!

I ordered the cake from the grocery store... they make really good cake and it saved me a bunch of time!

I am sure that you can find a fun cake to make if your google it!

We made a table my putting some plywood on a pair of saw horses!

(My parents were such great sports and went ALL OUT to dress up!)

Games/activities:

Building with blocks! The kids LOVED this!

I got plastic hard hats from Birthday Party Express for the kids to decorate with stickers and their names. I picked up the letter stickers and other stickers from the dollar store!

Pin the Tool On the Builder:

I made the builder on tag board and cut out the tools from tag board as well.

See my son peeking at the bottom of the picture!

Here is the tool bench we got!

Beat the Builder:

Kids would try to pound the bottom row of nails before the builder pounds the top row! It is a race! If you win you get a "I beat the Builder!" badge to show off!

Food:

I made a bag lunch for the crew! I had all the lunch pre-made. This was one of the best ideas of the party! I did not have to be in the kitchen getting food ready during the party AT ALL! And everyone got fed at pretty much the same time! I put every one's name on their lunch which made it fun!

Here is what I put in each lunch. I had juice boxes for kids and cans of pop for adults.

We had a great time! I got some of my ideas from googling "construction party ideas" and others just came to me!

What I'm Reading

2010-02-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

I don't have much that I want to write about lately, mostly because I have a lot going on and not enough distance from it to write about it very well. Suffice it to say that I'm still in the throes of the "baby craze" that I thought I had finally escaped, our outside commitments are threatening to overtake our family commitments, and time is getting away from me.

My escape: read a good book. Four weeks ago I read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, which is so witty and charming, I don't know how I managed to miss this one until now. If you haven't read it, you definitely should.

Next, I moved on to Ender's Game, which made me feel very unoriginal when I read the beginning and felt like I was reading the beginning of my own fictional work in progress, The G.E. Kid. Once I got past the beginning, though, I realized it goes in quite a different direction than I am headed with mine, so I felt a little more inclined to work on mine some more, but not inclined enough to actually do it...yet.

Ender's Game is science fiction for adolescent readers, middle to high school, and I enjoyed it. Before you start judging me for my YA fiction choices, let me remind you that the Twilight series was written for teens as well, and we all know who wound up loving it the most. Yep...Moms. At one point I even heard them called "Twi-Moms" for their crazier-than-the-kids behavior at book signings and movie events. So I'm not alone in my less-than-mature reading material choices.

Next, I have just received a copy of The Time Traveler's Wife from the library's Books by Mail program. I love checking the mail and finding a good book there instead of junk mail! Especially when it's a surprise. I was #30-something on the list when I reserved it online several months ago. It's really interesting so far. Anyone else read it?

After this, I plan to read Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The movie is coming out very soon and it looks really good!

How's that for an eclectic mix of literature? I love to read and my kids know it. We finished The Swiss Family Robinson with the kids and I have just started reading the first Harry Potter book to them. They are completely enraptured by it. It probably doesn't hurt that I do all the accents, including a thick Scottish brogue for Hagrid. I love reading aloud and hearing Paul read aloud to the kids. It's so cozy when we all pile up on the couch for a good story. I can forget about the outside world in that moment.

What are you reading? How do you "escape" at home?

Wanna buy a bracelet?

2010-02-09T06:00:00.002-05:00

It's February, and at Flylady.net that means it is the month where we focus on decluttering. Because of the Olympics this year, the Flylady has decided to turn our decluttering into an Olympic event so that we can really get rid of the clutter that weighs heavily on our shoulders.

I'm jumping in a little differently this time because we are in the midst of fulling funding an emergency fund (Dave Ramsey, Baby Step #3). Normally, the Flylady suggests just giving things away, and I am all for that, but I don't have a substantial paycheck to contribute to emergency fund effort, so I've decided to sell anything in our home that is not tied down. I've been doing well with books and DVD's, but I decided to peruse the jewelry box to see if there was anything of value there. Oh, the horrible memory I found there.

In college I lived with a sorority sister who came from an affluent family. They were cabinet makers in Missouri. This sister met a man who really liked the idea of being affluent, too, and they became engaged. As I lived with her at the time, I was invited to be a bridesmaid. Thankfully I was not the only one because I don't think I could have done this by myself.

We went through weeks of dress issues to be part of this wedding. We took a group trip to the bride-to-be's hometown for a fashion show to choose the perfect ensemble. We, the bridesmaids, tried on each dress, and they, the bride-to-be, her mother, and her aunt, commented on how horrible each of us looked and the specific flaws that each dress accentuated on our forms. Flat-chested, large-chested, too fat, too skinny...we left that dress shop feeling horrible. Then they took us to a restaurant that specializes in HUGE portions so we could feel even better about ourselves while we ate.

Now, I must say that 33 year old Rachel would have handled that wedding differently. I would have laughed in their faces and caught a cab home. 20 year old Rachel, however, wasn't quite ready to be that assertive, so I just went along with it and resisted the urge to develop an eating disorder.

I could go on about this wedding, but you probably get the gist of the whole thing. It. Was. Awful.

At the rehearsal dinner, we received 14K gold bracelets from England (Ooooh!). The groom had picked them for us. In each box was a cute little thank you note from the bride. Mine said, "Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be in my shoes!" Meaning maybe one day I, too, would get to be the bridezilla. Grrrr.

During my decluttering rampage the other day, I found that pretty little box and bracelet, and the catty little thank you note in the bottom. I thought to myself, "That was a horrible experience. I wonder how much I could get for this?" Now, friends, the bracelet is for sale on eBay. The auction ends later this week, and I already have some bids.

So, I'm getting paid to get rid of a harbinger of ill-feeling that I have carried around for about 13 years and worn one time. To the wedding. That's it. Ahhhh...decluttering feels so good!

Are you holding on to anything that upsets you when you see it? If so, I encourage you to send it packing! It really is a great feeling to be rid of bad memories!

Oh, and if you need a gold bracelet, here's the link;)

14K Gold Victorian-Style Bracelet by Solar England

The Relativity of Time

2010-02-08T10:30:00.004-05:00

"To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven."

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

Alex Update

A few months ago, I posted about my son's special needs. If you missed that post, the short story is Alex was adopted from Russia and has been diagnosed with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). This means that he has organic brain damage because his birthmother drank when she was pregnant with him. I chose to share Alex's story to make me accountable. Alex was diagnosed in May of 2008, and 18 months later, I was still in denial. I was actually still searching for another diagnosis for him.

Now that I have accepted this diagnosis, we are on the path to a happier life, and because I am researching the correct syndrome, I am actually finding some things that work. The organic brain damage for Alex means that he has difficulty with transitions, impulsiveness and distraction. My telling him most anything verbally is usually counterproductive. He can hear what I say, but the message is fragmented and lost as it travels through his brain. This simple picture schedule and clock have made our mornings far more peaceful. The only catch is that Alex is a very concrete thinker. We eat breakfast at 7:15. He will not see 7:16 as also time to eat breakfast. We eat breakfast only at 7:15. (If you have seen Rainman - Ray's Judge Wapner at 4:00 requirement is a great visual of this.) Fortunately, I quickly learned that I can reset the clock to match the time needed.

Our clock now travels with us wherever we go. Last week, for the first time ever, we left the Target toy department without one single tear or complaint. He was so quiet that none of the other shoppers knew we were leaving. It has taken me way too long to realize that most of our battles are due to a lack of understanding not defiance.

Many people respond to me with, "All kids have trouble with transitions," or "my son is also impulsive and he is fine," or "He's a just a boy." They try to console me and help me feel better. On the contrary, it makes me feel worse. Blanket statements like this minimize our challenges and take away from Alex's successes. Denying the syndrome doesn't make it go away. Believe me, I have tried.

So, in our near future, I am hoping for a more peaceful child who can be calm because I helped him feel comfortable and safe. I am looking forward to trying to increase his attention span, and we will be working on improving eye contact. And just in case you are worried, I will not be pursuing a career as an illustrator - yet :).

If you would care to learn more about FAS, I would recommend Fantastic Antone Succeeds!: Experiences in Educating Children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Edited by Judith Klienfeld and Siobhan Wescott.

Sorry no post...

2010-02-07T18:43:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the "no post" this week. We had my son's 2nd birthday party today and I am pooped!

BUT...

I will post pictures of the really great time we all had! I threw a construction themed party with builder games, builder food, and builder decor so stay tuned for that next week! For now I am going to rest! : )

Discipline

2010-02-04T09:30:00.005-05:00

Yesterday my baby turned 2, which means he's not a baby anymore. It's like a switch flipped in his brain and he decided to definitely be 2, if you know what I mean. I'm not going to use that phrase people use to describe 2-year-olds, as they're not terrible, merely challenging. Honestly, it's fun to see them grow and learn and do new things. For instance, yesterday I caught Micah in his room, climbing onto a stool so as to get to his birthday presents, which were up on Ethan's dresser. Then he pulled a chair over to the microwave in the kitchen and turned it on. Awesome.

One thing that's not fun about kids growing up is discipline. Yes, when they were infants I had to get up with them all through the night and change their diaper explosions and get hosed with spit-up, but now they have opinions. Attitudes. Yesterday when I picked Ethan up from school, his teacher did not have her usual smile on. Turns out, when another teacher asked him to scoot over in the pick-up line, he said, "No!" and smacked his fists on his knees. He also whined about the snack and refused to participate in music class. I was really ticked about him being disrespectful to the teacher, though. That I just will not tolerate. So when we got home I sat him down on the couch and explained that we do not talk to teachers (or anyone, for that matter) that way and that because he chose to be rude, he was not allowed to watch TV for the rest of the day. This was big-time punishment. Ethan's "naps" consist of him watching a movie in the guest bedroom. Yesterday, however, he had to make do without visual stimulation. At one point he came to me, chin all aquiver, and said softly, "Mom, I like watching stuff in Lori's room." (That's what he calls the guest bedroom, after my friend Lori, who is pretty much the only one who ever visits and stays in that room.) It just about broke my heart, but I didn't cave. I didn't cave later when Micah woke up and wanted to watch a video. I told Ethan he had to stay out of the den. Then, during Micah's birthday party, when he dragged Aunt Terri into the den to watch an episode of "The Backyardigans," I told Ethan he couldn't watch, that it was time for him to get a bath and go to bed. I felt like a jerk all day long. But it was worth it. This morning he apologized to the teacher he was rude to and seemed genuinely contrite. His attitude today has been excellent and he had a great day at school. I'm sure this isn't the last time we get a bad report from school or have to ban him from the TV all day, but I'd much rather deal with this now than when he's a teenager.

What a great gift!

2010-02-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

Last weekend I decided it was time to organize all of our printed photos. Yikes. It seems like I find a new "1-Hour Photo" envelope in every box of stuff and on every shelf. I don't want to even think about all of the digital pictures that are waiting to be appreciated, either. In some ways it's fun to take a walk down memory lane, to see how we've changed. I can't seem to get over, however, how overwhelming the task at hand is.

I am not a scrapbooker. In fact, any attempts I have made to scrapbook have been horrible. The pages never look like the ones I see in magazines, and it's just too frustrating to even try anymore. I like the look of scrapbooks, and I'm very impressed with people who are able to do it, like to do it, and are actually good at it. I've settled for just putting photos into albums--you know, the ones with sleeves for the pics and then a little place on the side where I can write something if I want? The problem I'm facing now as I sift through piles of negatives and 4x6's is that I apparently haven't even felt like doing that. Again, yikes.

As I surveyed the contents of one Rubbermaid bin this weekend, I did find something interesting. When our son was born, one of my husband's friends actually made a ready-to-fill scrapbook for us. It's a little square one, and the pages have themes like "first bath" and "first food" (as in baby food). Now, I will admit that as of today there are still no pictures in it, but when I saw it I had this resurgence of hope that maybe I could actually put together a scrapbook to document those first months of the little guy's life. (Did I mention that I'm so non-gifted with this kind of thing that we don't even have a baby book prepared for him? Yeah. It's pretty bad around here.)

So, given all of the beautiful gifts we were given to celebrate our new arrival, I have to say that I may be most appreciative of that little book. It has given me something that I could never do myself, and it will keep a record of our memories for years to come.

If you are reading this and you are a gifted scrapbooker, the next time you need a gift for a baby shower and you know the Mom-to-be isn't necessarily gifted in the art, she might really be grateful for one, too. Here's to the scrapbookers of the world and for all that you do! ;)

Sleep

2010-02-01T11:01:00.004-05:00

"I can lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
~ Psalm 4:8

When I was little, I was afraid of EVERYTHING: coyotes, kidnappers, bank robbers, wild dogs, and aliens to name a few. I would wake up in the middle of the night and be so afraid. My Bible back then had a concordance, so I would sit in the bathroom and look up verses on fear.

As an adult, I am often awake in the middle of the night but now it is usually because my child is afraid. My trivial fears from my youth have been replaced by one gigantic one: I may never get another full night's sleep as long as I live! Sometimes when I can't sleep, I try to use my time wisely and pray for some of my close friends in need. On nights like those, I comfort myself by thinking that God specifically woke me up to lift that person up in prayer. On other nights, when I am not moved by the Spirit, I watch QVC. It is about the only thing on at 4:00 am. What do you do when you can't sleep? Are enough of us awake to schedule a Motley chat session in the dark early hours?

All Done!!!

2010-01-31T15:24:00.003-05:00

I finished the felt play house with a week to spare! Hooray!

Have you ever made some thing that you just LOVE? I mean, I am so excited about how this turned out! I had visions of what this would turn out to be and they were not as good as this! Not to toot my own horn (toot toot!) but, I am in love with this play house!

Let me give you a tour:

Welcome to the front door.

Complete with a mail box...

...that opens and already has mail in it!

Let's stroll around to the side, with a tree and apples ready to be picked!

On to the back, where the tree and apples continue and you meet a friend Mr. Blue Bird.

Feel free to pick a basket of apples!

Come on around the the other side and stop to smell the roses!

It is NOT too girly, since one of the roses is blue!

Go ahead and pick a flower, and put it back for hours of fun... or use the flowers as drum sticks like my son likes to do!

Here is a close up of my MITERED edged Window... something a Carpenter would truly appreciate! I am very happy with how the windows turned out... I wish the ones on my house looked this good!

Another look at the apple tree.

Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to visit soon!

Of course, I wish that I cute pictures of my Little King playing in his new house... but as soon as I took the camera out, he had a meltdown. But, he does love it and so do I!

Liz is a Big Ol' Quitter

2010-01-28T15:10:00.003-05:00

For a few weeks I've been mulling over whether or not I should continue to take tae kwon do classes. I've been doing it for 8 1/2 years now and it's become a part of my life and a part of who I am. Rather, it used to be. I'm still a black belt (I always will be) even if I don't take classes because that's more of a mentality than anything else. I still plan to put Ethan back in tkd once his leg is all healed up and Micah will start, too, when he's 3, because I believe martial arts teaches very important life skills that will benefit my children. But it's just not working for me right now. The classes are usually right in the middle of the supper/bath/bed melee at my house, or they start at 7:30, when the kids are finally in bed and the kitchen is clean and I can sit on the couch and watch TV with my husband. That time is hard to give up. Plus, it's $80/month and I've been to class like 3 times in the last 6 months. That's just not fiscally responsible. So, this week I quit. I froze my contract with the school and emailed my instructors. I hate having quit something, especially something that was such an integral part of my life for so long. However, this morning at MOPS our Mentor Mom was talking about the sacrifices we make for our families and I guess this is something that I'm sacrificing. Unlike sleep, (TMI alert) a regular sex life, and the freedom to go somewhere without shlepping 2 kids and all their stuff around, though, is it really a sacrifice if I don't miss it very much? I guess it's more like having a career, a house that is not covered in toys, and meals without crying - I used to really enjoy those things, and it would be cool if I had them again someday, but they're not all that important to me anymore.

Birth of a Blog Post

2010-01-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

Today has been one of those days. The kind where I'm busy all day but by the end, I can't really account for my time. I realized around lunchtime that Liz hadn't posted yet because today is NOT Thursday. I kept holding out hope that she would post something later in the day, since her posting time seems to coincide with naptime, but then the full reality of WEDNESDAY hit me. Time seems to be hurtling away from me these days and I just can't keep track. I know that today is one of those days when squeezing out a blog post will be like giving birth...painful, messy, and forgetable, but decided to check in anyway and share what's on my mind.

We found out today that the homeschool kindergarten rule is, indeed, a stupid, stupid rule that will not go away. Our kindergartners in Florida will not be promoted to first grade unless they have completed an accredited, public school kindergarten program. They will repeat kindergarten whether they need to or not if, for some reason, we cannot provide a homeschool first grade education and must enroll them in school. The rule only applies to kindergarten. After that, students are evaluated for grade level placement.

If kindergarten were still the housekeeping, blocks, and reading centers that I remember, it would be so much more palatable. Unfortunately, kindergarten consists of a LOT of testing, deskwork, and basically the same stuff we did in first grade. Our son hates it. He can read, write, tell time, add numbers, count by 5's and 10's, tie his shoes, and so much more, but sit him in a classroom doing worksheets and deskwork all day and his yearning to learn gets squelched. I hate that I have to watch it happen day by day of this 180 day school year. It's painful.

We love his teacher. We love his school. I love the energy and enthusiasm of the staff. Unfortunately, it's a system that does not serve the kids who excel. I'm looking forward to guiding his education myself next year, nurturing his love of learning. It's going to be so good.

Stranger Danger

2010-01-25T14:35:00.002-05:00

So dear friends, what should I do about the jerk who is stalking my cell phone? For over two weeks now, some guy has been calling my phone to harass me. The first time I answered, he asked me something very crude, so I hung up the phone. The next time he called, I didn't answer, so he only called four times that day. The very next day he called, I answered and hung up without saying anything so he would know I was not going to talk to him. That really made him mad, so he called my phone over ten times that day. They are usually back to back calls. I guess he prefers one concentrated spell of annoyance instead of equally distributing the drama. The call comes in as "Restricted," so I called my cell phone company to see if they could help. They can't see his number either, so their best suggestion was to restrict my phone calls to people in my contact list. This sort of works. If someone not on my list calls, I do not know they are calling, and they do have the ability to leave a message. I do not get alerts that I have a message. Today, I had a message from someone looking for Heather because her rent check is late. He didn't leave a number, and I can't call him back to tell him he has the wrong number because my phone will not keep a record of the call. So, I turned off the restriction to see if he would call back, and within hours, my stalker had called. He kept calling and calling as I quickly turned my re-restricted my calls.

I am pretty sure this is harmless, just irritating, but how do I really know? This person has never called my home phone and probably doesn't even know who I am, but I am still bothered. I am even more concerned that it is still going on. What should I do? Do I change my phone number? Do I contact the police? What do you think?

Checking in With My Felt Play House

2010-01-23T10:10:00.003-05:00

Remember that I really want to make one of these felt play houses (that fit over your card table) for my son's 2nd birthday:

This one is from Homemade By Jill, and I am using it as an example to make my house. Mine is a bit different but I have looked at this house about 100 times to get inspiration or to decide how big something should be.

I am happy to report that I have some work done!

I have cut out all the sides and the roof! (4 orange sides and a brown roof) Orange is my Little King's favorite color.

I have finished the front side with the door and the mail box! The mail box opens so you can put a letter in it! I freezer paper stenciled the letters and numbers on (It was easier way for me to get a cleaner look)

I have cut out all the stuff for the back side and need to sew it on. I also still need to make the apples to hang on the tree and a few more leaves in a lighter green. The basket it going to be a pocket to hold the apples that can get picked off the tree!.

I have 2 sides left to make and then I have to sew it all together. I have two weeks so I think that is do-able!

Sloooooowwwwww Down

2010-01-21T20:45:00.003-05:00

I am a major klutz, always have been. One time I was walking on the sidewalk in college and I tripped over a leaf. A leaf - I kid you not. Another time I broke my toe during a tae kwon do class because I accidentally kicked the wall. It's nearly constant - knock this over, stub this toe, bump into that wall, spill this, oh and wait - let me tell you about my husband's truck. He was out of town for a week for work and he took my car to the airport so I had his truck. I was backing out of our driveway, on my way to take the boys to their grandma's, and I got too close to the gate and scraped all the way down the side of the truck. Then, the very next day, I was pulling into the driveway and scraped the truck again, only on the other side. It was a mess. Both back side panels had to be replaced, painted, new bumper, etc. My husband was a good sport about it, but I felt like an idiot. Lately this klutzy stuff has been really getting to me. I have a lot of stress in my life. I am dealing with a very ugly family situation and I have 2 small children - enough said. I think I am also having a bit of a faith crisis because I (*cringe*) have been blaming God for my klutziness. He made me, after all. He could keep me from constantly hurting myself and breaking stuff. Usually when something like that happens, I say very bad words in my head. I knew I needed to stop doing that, though, so one day I stubbed my toe and it hurt and I just took a breath and tried not to curse. And I promise you, God said to me, "Slow. Down." I realized that the reason I am such a klutz is that I rush. I'm constantly rushing around, hurrying to do this, running to do that. I really don't have a lot to do. I don't have many deadlines. But I race through chores and meals and books like a chicken with my head cut off. So now when I do something klutzy, such as knock the olive oil over onto the stove, I tell myself, "Slow down." And last night, when I had spent an hour driving around town to get my husband's pain medication for the shoulder surgery he had yesterday morning and then to Beef's where I waited 30 minutes for our food and then into the driveway with the truck, scraping the side of it on the gate AGAIN, I put my head down on the steering wheel and, instead of cursing God, I simply told myself to slow down. After all, as the wise Lily Tomlin says, "For fast-acting relief, try slowing down."

Thank You, From the Bottom of my Chart

2010-01-20T08:58:00.001-05:00

I used to be so good about writing thank you notes for anything and everything. If someone did something thoughtful or invited me over for coffee or gave me a gift, a handwritten note (in calligraphy, no less) was soon to follow.

Fast forward to Christmas 2009...I was so grateful to have received only a small handful of gifts this year. I thought, "Oh, thank goodness, I only have to write four thank you notes!" Never mind the lovely dinners, cookie parties, and playdates surrounding Christmas...I just can't keep up with that level of handwritten appreciation anymore!

But now I have not only my own thank you notes to write, but the kids' thank you's as well! I took them to the dollar store and let them each pick their own pack of thank you cards, just to give them some ownership over the whole process. We made a chart for each kid with the gifts they received and the name of the giver, to be crossed off as the note is written. Our 6-year-old is painstakingly handwriting his own notes, and with his birthday just three days after Christmas, we let him combine both celebrations into one thank you note. He still isn't finished.

Last year, I made him draw a picture of each gift inside blank cards. When he finally finished all his artwork, I am so ashamed to admit that I completely lost his cards, his list of gifts and givers, and the envelopes (which I had already addressed). Those never got sent.

While KID 1 can just barely write his own thank you's this year, KID 2 can NOT, thank you very much. It is apparently my job to thank everyone for her gifts. I've tried having her "decorate" the cards herself in the past, but it becomes tedious for her and she finds something else to do before she's reached the second card.

I've heard of parents taking a picture of the kids with their gifts, but that just seems like extra work for me. Finding the gifts, taking the photo while berating the child in question to "smile like you really like your present!" and then actually having the photos printed and included in each appropriate envelope...I am SO not doing that.

How do you show friends and family appreciation for your kids' gifts? Any ideas for making the process a little easier?

Renewal

2010-01-18T10:45:00.006-05:00

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."
~2 Corinthians 4:16

Ironically, I was going to post this last week, but I was too sick to get off of my couch, but better late than never. These are the vitamins I take everyday. They don't upset my stomach, don't cost a fortune, and don't taste too bad on the way down. I first bought them because of their high vitamin B levels, and I really do feel better when I take these on a regular basis. A few days ago, I was reading the box and realized that they also contain Ginseng, which has "naturally occurring ginsenosides and flavonoids, bioactive factors that play a role in well-being." No wonder I felt better.

Sadly, taking these vitamins everyday is about the only thing I make sure to do for myself every day (unless you count drinking coffee - which is full of antioxidants). Even on days when Alex is in school, I don't make time to exercise, fix myself a nice lunch, study my Bible or even rest! Are any of you successful at taking care of yourself? Do you have any tips for those of us who aren't? What do you do to renew yourself daily? I'd love to hear about it!

Just GO!

2010-01-16T15:12:00.000-05:00

I have a friend (A collage roommate) whose 16 month old baby has to have some pretty major medical procedures done recently and in the near future. (I am being vague, since it is not my child) She lives about 4.5 hours away from the hospital that is working with their family. So, that means every time they have an appointment or a surgery they have to travel 4.5 hours away from home, spend the night at a relatives house and deal with this without most of their friends and family. And to make things more difficult the hospital does not allow children under the age of 5 (even siblings!) to come because of H1N1..etc... So that means their 4 year old son cannot come to visit his sister and be with his parents!

The thing is, is the hospital is only about 1/2 hour from my house...absolutely doable for me to visit and bring some food. I have been trying to keep up with the updates on her blog (I LOVE blogs), so when I read that they would be in town at the hospital for a surgery I sent her an e-mail letting her know that I would like to visit and bring some dinner, if that was OK. I thought that the surgery would not be until the next week so I have plenty of time of plan everything out. but I got an e-mail back saying that they would going to be here TOMORROW!

My mind starting coming up with excuses on why I couldn't go... "I have something planned at 8 PM ... that might be tight to bring dinner and make it." "Since children under 5 can't go, I have to find a sitter for my little king... this is too short of notice..." "I don't really feel like going today" I know...I suck!

BUT I stopped and pulled myself together and said to myself (yes I talk to myself.... I know you do too so shut-up!) "When your friend is at the hospital because their BABY is having surgery YOU JUST GO! This is not about you - it is about them! Find a way!" And I did! And I was so happy that I could be a friendly face at the hospital, bring some yummy food and ice cream for dessert (everything is better with ice cream!). It was nice to visit with my friend and see her baby was doing fine after the surgery! I know a little about hospital life, my brother had 6 major heart surgeries growing up. It was always so nice when someone would come to the hospital and visit, even just for a little while. It was SUPER great if they brought food! : ) Even this little gesture was HUGE to us as a family while my brother was recovering.

I am not writing this to toot my horn and show you what a great person I am... actually the opposite. My true nature was to stay home and make an excuse, but with the guiding of the Holy Spirit I was able to be there for a friend. I know that God was speaking to me through my excuses. I had a choice to listen or ignore it. I choose to listen! It is so easy for me to get caught up in my 'busy" life and make excuses not to do things, but sometimes you just have to drop everything and JUST GO!

I believe that if I can do it, you can too!

Middle Aged

2010-01-14T14:15:00.005-05:00

Stuff that Makes Me Feel Old:

holding books, crosswords, etc., far away from my eyes so I can read them

cold weather vs. my knees

trying to open jars, which I now cannot do without one of those rubber gripper thingys

the stiffness in my left hip I've felt ever since I started cardio kickboxing

Rachel making fun of me for wearing an Aeropostale hoodie

staying up too late - I think I'm still recovering from staying up to watch the National Championship last week

pop music - What is all this crap on the radio? And who are these people?

MTV

excessive moisturizing of my neck so that I don't get turkey neck like my mother and grandmother

peeing a little when I sneeze or cough

my 3-year-old beating me at every Wii game he attempts

Stuff That Makes Me Feel Young:

football

beer

drinking beer while watching football

exercise, especially shooting hoops

playing trains with Ethan

the fact that I have yet to find a gray hair

loud rock music, especially if I'm in the car alone rockin' out

Looney Tunes

Facebook

making my 17-year-old nephew laugh because we have the same sense of humor

How about you? Feel old? Feel young? Share!

Slacker

2010-01-13T13:50:00.000-05:00

Just noticed there wasn't a post up on Motley Moms for today, then realized - "TODAY IS MY DAY TO POST!" Whoops!

Consider this my fabulous post for the week. I didn't intend to take a break, but have gotten so busy the past two weeks, I've completely forgotten to do my own articles.

Keep up the great work, ladies. I continue to thoroughly enjoy each and every article you post!

Love you all!

Donna

Off the Wall

2010-01-12T12:18:00.004-05:00

I am not great when it comes to decorating, and since we've moved into our house I have had a terrible time trying to decide what should go on the walls. While reading a magazine the other day I noticed an article about a designer's house, and there was a picture of the wall behind the headboard in her bedroom. She had hung several framed postcards in a nice pattern there, and it looked really neat. As I read the article, it struck me that this particular designer doesn't buy expensive art for her home, but she uses images that she likes, frames them, and they become art.

That was when the lightning bolt hit. When my dear grandmother passed away, we had the opportunity to sort through her belongings. She lived through the Depression, and she kept nearly everything she ever received. In a box in her bedroom I found a treasure trove of the neatest recipe books from the 30's that she must have gotten for buying a certain brand of sugar or baking chocolate, canning jars or other baking products. I have been storing them in a binder to protect them, but when I read this article it dawned on me that those cute little books have been boxed away for far too long. I put three of them into frames, and now every time I walk into the kitchen I get to think of my Grandma. (The booklet titled, "50 Ways to Use Marshmallows, A Household Necessity" always makes me smile!)

We also found a good-sized portion of my Great-Great-Granmother's post card collection, and I can't wait to do something with those, too. There is one card that has a picture of a toddler riding an alligator, taken back in the day when they thought it was OK to do things like that. Once I figure out the perfect place for that one, it is leaving it's protective plastic sleeve and going on the wall for all to see!

So, do you have any non-fine art related ways to decorate your walls? I need some help, and I would love to hear them!

4 Weeks until...

2010-01-09T11:13:00.005-05:00

My baby turns 2. Each day he get closer and closer to 2 and father and father aways from being my sweet little baby! It is exciting and sad all at the same time.

I really wanted to make one of these felt play houses (that fit over your card table) for his 2nd birthday:

This one is from Homemade By Jill I love it!

This one is from This and That so cute on the inside!

A very manly one from Sew Much Ado

A Very princess one from Ikat Bag

So, here I have a TON of inspiration! I have the felt! I bought yards and yards of it when it was 50% off at Joann's in preparation for this project. AND...here is what I have done so far:

yep, a pretty good sketch of what I want to do... no sewing, or cutting yet!! And did I mention that I only have 4 weeks left to complete this project!?!? Time to get my butt in gear!

So I have set up a schedule for myself of what I need to complete each week (basically a side and a little more each week.) I think that it is doable, but it will be tight! I always tell myself I work better under pressure! Now we will see!

Have you ever done this to yourself?

Happy National Championship Day!

2010-01-07T08:37:00.005-05:00

I know most of you aren't into football, but that's okay. In honor of the national college football championship game tonight, I'm going to attempt to explain to you why it is so important to me and why I'm such a crazed fan.
I was born in Alabama and I lived there for much of my early childhood. There's not a lot going for Alabama. There are no professional sports teams of any sort, poverty is rampant, unemployment is high, too many people smoke and/or are overweight, and the state has a sordid past relating to the civil rights movement. But I love Alabama. It's where my family is from and I have many happy memories of living there and then visiting my Nanny, my grandmother, my favorite person in the whole wide world, after we moved to Florida. I will admit that the state and the people can be backward, but some of the best people I've known have come from Alabama and I am proud of my heritage.
What does this have to do with football? Well, since there's not a lot going for Alabama, people who live there have to cling to what makes them great, and one of those things is college football. The University of Alabama has one of the most storied football programs in the country. One of the most prolific college football coaches, Bear Bryant, coached at Alabama and led them to six national championships. Amazingly, Bryant was one of the first college coaches to recruit and play black players. That's really saying something, considering where he coached and who was governor at the time (George Wallace). Alabama football gives the people of Alabama something to be proud of. When you add in the rivalry between Alabama and Auburn, which is really heated, football is a big deal in this particular state.
It's also a big deal in my household. It was in my home growing up - some of my earliest memories are of both my dad and mom yelling at the TV for some player to "Run!" or "Make a tackle!" I was raised to be an Alabama fan and to hate Auburn and Tennessee and Penn State and Notre Dame and to have a disdain for any team outside the SEC. My husband became a hard-core Alabama fan shortly after we married. I have enough Alabama t-shirts to wear one every day of the week (although I try not to do that) and I've read everything ever published about Bear Bryant. It's not just a hobby for me, it's an obsession.
This season has been magical. We are undefeated. We beat everyone in our conference, including Auburn and Tennessee, our biggest rivals, then we beat undefeated Florida to win the SEC championship. Honestly, though, it's been heartbreaking to be a Bama fan for a long time. We last won a National Championship in '93 and since then it's been a long line of failing coaches and NCAA rule violation scandals. Finally in 2007 we got a new coach, Nick Saban (called "Satan" by some of his naysayers), and it's been uphill ever since. Last season was promising, but we lost the SEC championship to Florida and then lost the Sugar Bowl to Utah. This season went much the same way, except we were able to pummel Florida to win the SEC and we got our first Heisman Trophy winner - Mark Ingram. Tonight we are playing Texas for the national championship. I will stay up as late as the game goes and I will probably cry actual tears if they lose. This is saying a lot, since I can't remember the last time I cried over anything.
I probably have only succeeded in making myself sound like a lunatic and confirmed for those of you who don't like football that you've made the right choice. That's okay because I'm not trying to convert anyone. But football is one of my favorite things and I'm just so thrilled that for me, it's still going on. For many people, their seasons ended at the end of November or with a disappointing loss in a no-name bowl game. But I get to cheer my team on with hundreds of thousands of other fans across the country. It's been a long time coming, but it was worth the wait!

More on spending...

2010-01-05T14:36:00.002-05:00

We don't plan it, but Pam and I seem to always be thinking about the same thing! Yesterday she wrote a great post about her plan for spending money wisely, and today I want to talk about really saving money for a lofty goal...

...to pay for our house this year, or at least make a huge dent in the mortgage. We have no other debts, so the only way to make room in our budget for bigger and better things is to banish the mortgage payment. Yes, we did just buy the house in July, but I'm already tired of this monthly drain on our resources.

We don't live that extravagantly now, so making cuts is going to be severe. I am designating one night a week as "Beans and Rice Night." It's much healthier than other options, and it's much less expensive, too. We will also have a soup night. Other than that, I'm going to really menu plan this year, and stick to the plan. No more emergency runs to McDonald's when I forget to defrost the chicken, either.

Trips to the mall or Target? Fewer and farther between, and I'm not going without a list. I've already managed to escape my post-Christmas spending frenzy in the clearance aisles, so this may not be as hard as I thought! I'm not buying anything without asking the question, "Is this [piece of junk I won't use a week from now] really a fair exchange for financial freedom?"

Now the big one: I'm leaving my big purse at home. I carry it so that I can fit my cash envelopes, coupon files, and gift card files with me in case of a shopportunity. Guess what? I tend to shop when those things are with me. No more. I don't leave the house without a plan, and the plan will include the cash I'm going to spend as well as anything else I need for that trip. No more side trips to the Dollar Tree. No more meandering through the garden center at Walmart "just to see what they have." No more spending money on silly or unnecessary things.

So, we're cutting to the quick here, and hopefully we will see a happy return. It is a little extreme, but as Dave Ramsey says, "live like no one else so that later you can live (and give) like no one else." Do you have any extreme frugal tips? Let's hear them!

Spending Money

2010-01-04T10:14:00.008-05:00

"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?"
~ Luke 14:28

My friend Lindsay, and fellow Motley Mom, let me borrow a few of her Dave Ramsey books before I left Florida. Her family follows Dave's plan to be debt free, and I was so excited to learn more. Dave gives readers baby steps to become debt free, and I am so drawn to him because he is a Christian.

One of the first things I learned from Lindsay and Dave is to pay cash for everything excluding monthly bills. Before, I always used my check card for any and every purchase: McDonald's sausage and egg McMuffin - $2.58, Starbucks tall decaf peppermint mocha - $3.85, GNO at movies - $8.75. Ironically, I was also always afraid to check my bank balance online. I dreaded writing down all of the deductions and I lived in constant fear that an expenditure was forgotten. Spending like this also enabled me to be blissfully unaware of how much we actually spent each month at Starbucks, the grocery store and even on gas.

I do have to spend some time each month budgeting how our money left after paying bills should be spent, but I am so thankful to have money left after paying bills! Grocery shopping has been the biggest challenge for me. I budget $50 per week, which is a challenge alone. Paying cash forces me to keep a total of how much is in my cart, and I forces me to make some tough decisions like, "Do I really want to spend $4.00 on 2 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breasts or would I rather get 4 pounds of split breasts for $4.00?"

Paying with cash is a great way to start tracking your spending. I use an envelope like this, filled with smaller envelopes.

My categories are: fun and farmers market, babysitter, hair care, toiletries, clothing, Walgreen's, prescriptions, co-pays, gas and oil, repairs and tires, groceries, cleaning, entertainment, Starbucks and restaurants. I am planning to add an emergencies envelope to have a few extra dollars for things forgotten or unplanned, like school fundraisers.

Like most new years, I am hoping this year will bring our family more prosperity, but this year, I actually have a plan to make that happen. What money saving goals or tips do you have for the new year?

My "Murtough" List

2010-01-02T06:00:00.002-05:00

If you have seen the Lethal Weapon movies, you will be familiar with Murtough (played by Danny Glover) and his partner Riggs (played by Mel Gibson). They are detectives who seem to get themselves into trouble while solving the world’s problems. Murtough's most famous line in all the movies is, "We're too old for this *stuff*" (*actually a different 4 letter word is used, but I am keeping it PG here!) Reflecting on 2009 and going into 2010, I seem to find myself saying, "I'm too old for this stuff!" quite a bit!

A couple weeks ago I went to the doctor because my knee had been bothering me for a while. It hurt to bend it, straighten it, pretty much do anything with it. I thought that I had better get it checked out, because it could be a tumor! The doctor examined me, and said, "it is arthritis."

WHAT?!?! I am not old enough to have arthritis! (I mean I am only 31!) I'd almost rather it be a tumor (Ok- not really!) It did not help that I also found 3 gray hairs that same week (You wont find them now... I pulled those suckers out and I am getting my hair dyed stat!)

So, I am creating my own Murtough list... the things that I am officially too old for!
1.) Staying up all night for a New Year's Party. I volunteer with the Jr. High group at my church, and they had an all-nighter for New Year's Eve. I told the youth pastor that I could help, but only until 1 AM... that is already WAY WAY past my bed time! He understood!
2.) Drinking caffeine after noon. I used to be able to down a can of dew and take a nap... not any more! I am totally hyped up and ready to scrub the floors with a tooth bursh! Not to mention that I keep my hubby up by talking a mile a minute.
3.) Sitting on my knees for longer than 10 seconds. See above!
4.) Going to a really loud concert. I find myself saying, "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO LOUD. . .I HAVE A HEADACHE!"
5.) Playing any sort of physical game, and not paying for it the next day! I played dodge ball on a Wednesday night with the youth group, and the next day I had a hard time getting out of bed.

So, what is on your Murtough list?

I'm not really into New Year's, so this post will be about Christmas.

2009-12-31T23:17:00.003-05:00

Honestly, this year Christmas made me think a lot about...well, Christmas and what it's really all about. I posted the clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas a few weeks ago where Linus is quoting Luke 2 and telling Charlie Brown that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. I know this, but what I'm wondering is why do I make it about so much more?
I really don't do a lot for Christmas. I bought presents for 6 people - Todd, Ethan, Micah, my 2 SILs and my MIL. I got some gift cards for the lady who cleans our house and the babysitter we pay and our pastors, but that's it. Pam was wondering how I get by with only buying for 6 people. Well, first of all, Todd's siblings and I draw names, so that's 2 right there. We always buy for his mom because she's his mom and of course we're going to buy for each other and our kids. I'm an only child, my father is dead, and my mother and I are estranged. It's not such a happy story when it comes to my side of the family. So when people say Christmas is about being with your family, well, that kind of makes me feel like crap. I have to make sure I focus on my "real" family - Todd, Ethan, and Micah, and Todd's family, because they make me feel like I've always been a part of them.
I decorate, but not heavily. I don't bake (except 1 batch of no-bake cookies for MOPS) and the only cooking I did was a quiche for breakfast Christmas morning and a pecan pie for dessert that night. So Christmas is not about goodies and big dinners and parties and it sure ain't about snow and cold weather, because I live in Central Florida.
And has anyone ever noticed how many people get sick around Christmas? That kind of puts a damper on the whole "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" idea. Micah woke up Christmas morning with a fever of 101. And did I mention Ethan has a broken leg?
I enjoyed watching the boys open their gifts and I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed opening my own presents. But the shopping, the few days I went to stores and didn't do it online, the shopping made me feel kind of hollow inside. I don't want to just be a consumer!
We watched Christmas specials with our kids, Charlie Brown and The Grinch (we do not like The Grinch) and Dora and Rudolph and The Backyardigans and I think even the Wonder Pets had a Christmas special and it was all, "Christmas is about giving," and "Christmas is about Santa," and "Christmas is about helping others," and while those are all noble ideas, even the Santa one, I wanted to scream at the TV, "No, it's not! Christmas is about Jesus!"
I don't want to be a crazy religious person, giving up the tree because it was a pagan symbol and Santa because he's not real and the gifts because we have so much stuff we have nowhere to put it and there are people in the world who don't even have clean water. I don't want to be like that, really. I see the value in all those things. But I want something MORE out of Christmas. Or maybe, maybe what I want is less. Maybe all I want is to see the Christ child. So maybe I should, on the cusp of this New Year, make a (ugh, I can hardly say it) "resolution" to focus on Him every day, and not wait until Christmas to "make it all about Him." That's a lot of pressure for 1 day. And I need Him more than 1 day out of the year. Trust me, I need Him A LOT.

Resolutions Revisited

2009-12-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'm still Christmas-ing up north for a few more days, so I thought I would re-post my article from this time last year. I am happy to say that indeed I did keep all of my resolutions from this list! How did you do? ;)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Resolutions, Shmesolutions...

"It's dangerous for a perfectionist to make New Year's Resolutions--we're the ones who go to the gym on January 2nd decked out in brand-new workout gear but are never to be seen again by the end of the month. We go into it with good intentions, we just get overwhelmed trying to maintain these lifestyle changes, well, perfectly.

On that note, a few years ago I decided to stop making resolutions. It worked for a while, but it's very un-perfectionist-like to not do something that everyone else is doing, so I took a different approach to the resolution issue. My new list of resolutions each year is made up of intentions that I should have no trouble keeping. It goes a little something like this:

1. This year I will not eat escargot.
2. This year I will not go bungee jumping or cliff diving.
3. This year I will not join an ice hockey team.
4. This year I will not run for president.

I should probably add "voluntarily" to the end of each of those, but I think you get the picture.

There you go--it's a no-fail list, and at the end of the year I can look back with pride and say, indeed, I kept all of my resolutions!

What about you? What's on your list this year?"

Over-Extended Christmas

2009-12-28T14:29:00.002-05:00

This year our Christmas was less like Norman Rockwell and more like Rocky and Bullwinkle. The three Carvers left our house on Wednesday, drove eight hours to southern Indiana, and spent a day and a half with my husband's family. On Christmas day, we again loaded up the family truckster to drive four hours to my parents. One short day and a half later, we packed up all of our goods and spent seven hours driving the four-hour trip back to our house through a winter storm.

We still have to purchase and open our gifts, and I still have Christmas cards to mail! I even have a few more things I need to finish making! Alex is strung out from eating his weight in food additives and preservatives, and I am too shell-shocked to even decide when Santa should leave his gift for Alex.

Last year, we celebrated our Christmas on the Orthodox Christmas in January because we were traveling and that is when most Russians celebrate Christmas. That way we could incorporate some of Alex's Russian heritage. While that is a good plan, I am wondering if Alex is missing out on something by not being at his own home for Christmas...?

The only thing I know for sure is that I can NEVER celebrate Christmas like this again. Does anyone have good ideas for balancing Christmas with extended families who live out of town? I hope your Christmas was merry and bright no matter where you were, and I would love to hear your ideas - good or bad :)

The Day after Chritsmas

2009-12-26T10:46:00.001-05:00

In many other countries it is known as Boxing Day. Here is what Wikipedia has to say about it:

The name derives from the tradition of giving seasonal gifts, on the day after Christmas, to less wealthy people and social inferiors, which was later extended to various workpeople such as labourers and servants.

The traditional recorded celebration of Boxing Day has long included giving money and other gifts to charitable institutions, the needy and people in service positions. The European tradition has been dated to the Middle Ages, but the exact origin is unknown and there are some claims that it goes back to the late Roman/early Christian era; metal boxes were placed outside churches used to collect special offerings tied to the Feast of Saint Stephen.

And I always thought that Boxing Day was a Day to get rid of your Christmas gift boxes... I was WAY off!

Here at my house the day after Christmas is a calm relaxing day. A day to stay in our PJ's and try out some of the new stuff we got. My Little King is playing with his new toys and pretty excited about them too. I got a couple of new books that I want to read, and a new sweater to wear! (There are few things better than new clothes- to me). We don't have to rush out anywhere or have a big agenda to follow. I LOVE Christmas morning (I am the one who gets us all up at 7AM to open gifts) I love the excitement, the anticipation, the family, food and fun... but it is nice to have an uneventful day the day after to recuperate!

What do you do on the Day After Christmas?

Lights of the Season

2009-12-21T10:13:00.003-05:00

Our small town does a great job of lighting up our cold winter nights. I hope you all have a warm, wonderful Christmas filled with love.

"But the Angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. " Luke 2:10-11

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12

Christmas Traditions: The Christmas Campout

2009-12-20T21:08:00.000-05:00

I congratulated myself on the awesome new tradition of the kids' "Christmas Campout" by the Christmas tree - complete with homemade pizza, shrimp cocktail ring, Christmas stories read by the fire, sleeping bags and pillows arranged by the tree - until I realized that it's almost 9:00 pm and the kids are still out there giggling and goofing around. File this one under the WHAT WAS I THINKING??? label.

Paul just went out there to quiet them down...for the fifth time. He hasn't come back and it's been 10 minutes. I'm thinking he's probably camping out on the couch tonight.

If I were Rachel, I'd be writing myself a note for next Christmas: "Dear Donna, Regarding the Christmas campout...DON'T DO IT!"

Homemade Christmas - Paper Gift box

2009-12-19T15:48:00.005-05:00

Here is an easy, quick, and cute paper gift box that you can make! I like to make them for little things like gift cards, candy, jewelry, or any other little things that you need to wrap.

All you need is:

2 paper squares (One about 1/4" smaller than the other)
Scissors
Tape (optional)

I thought about doing a picture tutorial but it is some times hard to see the folds so I made a video for you all! This box take less than 10 minutes to make (The video is 9 min... and that is with me showing you!) The video is not perfect (my phone rings half way through) but does a pretty good job of showing you how to make it, so here it is! I hope you enjoy!

These Kids Today!

2009-12-17T08:36:00.003-05:00

I remember talking to a friend at church shortly after Ethan was born. She has three sons and at that time the youngest was almost 2. I said to her, "I figure I can start getting some sleep in about 2 years." Her response was, "Yeah, just keep telling yourself that." I am here to say that Janann, you were right! Of course, by the time Ethan was 2, I had a newborn. That newborn is now nearly 2 and I'm still not sleeping! Part of the reason is because last Friday I had the brilliant idea to take the boys to the playpark. 5 minutes after we got there, Micah fell and busted his lip open on the steps. I comforted him and eventually Rachel came with her son and Micah was okay after that. Until he wanted to go back up the steps, then he got scared and I had to comfort him. Meanwhile, Ethan went down the slide into a huge puddle and as it was chilly and windy outside, Rachel and I were discussing which one of us would go home to get him new pants while I held Micah. Then we heard a crash and I know I heard a crack and Ethan was on the ground, clutching his leg and crying. I handed Micah to Rachel and ran over to see what was going on with Ethan. I couldn't see anything on his leg - no bruise, no swelling. But he couldn't stand up and he shrieked every time I touched or moved his leg. Finally I called Todd, who raced down Lakeshore going 75 mph and we ended up taking him to the doctor, who sent us for x-rays, which determined Ethan's tibia is fractured. I am not even kidding - my three-year-old broke his freaking leg. Apparently he was reaching for the fireman's pole at the park and missed. Our pediatrician put on a temporary cast that reached from toes to mid-thigh. It was a long weekend. Tuesday we went to an ortho who recommended a walking cast that goes below his knee. He can't walk on it yet, but hopefully he will in a few days. Yesterday he was scooting around in the playroom with his buddy, playing with trains. Oh, and did I mention that the weekend before this mess Micah had an ear infection? Poor kid had a fever, cough, runny nose, hurting ears, and he was throwing up. Last night his temperature spiked again, but today he's okay. I may never sleep again. I am thankful for my kids, though. I am thankful for their health, that the worst things they've had to deal with are broken bones and ear infections. I may not get a good night's rest until they're teenagers (wait...that will be an altogether different stress!), but hey, at least it's not boring! Oh, and maybe my pediatrician can finally get that Porsche he's been eying. :)

Movie Madness

2009-12-16T07:48:00.001-05:00

Totally unrelated to Christmas, I'm wondering what you all do to preserve your DVD movies? We've been through two copies of CARS and I hate to go buy a third, just to have it scratched and ruined again. This is getting expensive!

So many of our favorite DVD's are now unwatchable due to imperceptible (sometimes quite OBVIOUS) scratches. Are you really just supposed to keep rebuying these things? I've copied our music and audiobooks onto the computer (see my recent post Our Listening Library is "Ripped!"), but you can't do that with DVDs...can you?

We've tried the scratch repair kits which, for the most part, do NOT work. We don't usually allow our kids to handle the DVD's, but when KID 1 occassionally does, he's very careful. The disks still end up scratched.

I've seen these things called "D-Skins" on the market, but they're expensive. Has anyone tried them?

How do you keep your DVD movies scratch-free?

For the Love of Santa

2009-12-14T05:00:00.000-05:00

Alex first saw Santa after being in our country for only two weeks, and he was instantly drawn to him. We were still cocooning, and we weren't really supposed to let anyone else hold him, but Alex reached out for the kind old sole. We celebrate Santa, or more accurately stalk him each holiday season. As Alex grows, I hope to teach him that God gave us his greatest gift, Jesus, on Christmas Day. In that spirit, just as Santa gives gifts, we share our love with others by giving gifts for Christmas. I found a reprint of the infamous letter from dear little Virginia at http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/, and I thought you might enjoy reading it again today.

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

The answer was written by veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church, and was originally printed in the New York's Sun as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897.

Homemade Christmas Gift Idea - Car Roll

2009-12-12T06:00:00.001-05:00

We are having a homemade Christmas at my house this year! It has been fun and challenging to make cute things for my son. There are TONS of girly toys tutorials out there to make but boy toys tutorials are few and far between. I hope to add one!

A Car Roll - it is the same idea as a crayon roll but for toy cars. (**Note** I have seen other car rolls out there... this is MY version!)

Here is what you will need:
3 - 13.5 X 7 inch rectangles of fabric. I used denim from a pair of old jeans, black flannel (for the road), and a car flannel
ribbon (yellow works great to be part of the road)
Sewing machine (with other sewing tools: scissors, thread, etc..)
Optional: Fusible fleece

1. Iron your fabric. Pick out which one you want to be the pocket, fold it in half and iron across the crease.

2.) Optional: I also ironed on the fusible Fleece to the top of the back side of the black flannel. This was to give the "road" a little more stability and cushion. In the end the denim is pretty sturdy so I don't know if this is totally necessary!

3.) Open your pocket and on the BACK side make vertical lines up to the crease at 3", 5.5", 8" and 10.5"

4.)Now we are going to set up our pocket: Place your pocket (folded back down) onto the TOP side of the black flannel.

Then, flip open the pocket and pin into place on the bottom half.

5. Sew on your vertical lines that you made, being sure to stop at the fold crease. Make sure to back stitch at the beginning and end of each line.

Here is what the back looks like:

6. Flip your pocket down and sew two line across the top of the black flannel to make a road. DO NOT sew on the pocket!!

a closer look:

7. Place your ribbon on your road. I used a measuring tape to make sure that it was straight across. Pin your ribbon in place.

8. Sew on your ribbon. I sew down each side.

Here is what it looks like now:

9. Cut off a piece of ribbon that is about 32' long and fold it in half. Pen it to where the yellow ribbon on your road is, with the length of the ribbon going onto the car roll. (This is going to be our tie)

10. Put the denim piece on top of the car roll (Right sides together)

Make sure that your tie ribbon is on the INSIDE... or it will come out backwards!

11. Sew around the outside edge of the car roll, making sure to leave a 3-4 inch opening to flip it right side out.

12. Flip the car roll right side out and iron on the creases of the seams. Top sew your opening closed and you are ALL DONE!

Put some cars in it and roll it up and tie it!

I think that my 22 month old son is going to LOVE it!

Perspective

2009-12-10T16:02:00.002-05:00

How I keep perspective this time of year:

video

The Greatest Gift

2009-12-09T05:00:00.002-05:00

I love Christmas. I really do. But sometimes I feel like I'm tying all of my holiday cheer into a beautiful red and green package, handing it to my family, and then realize there's none left for me. I start out with such good intentions of "keeping Christ in Christmas" at the beginning of Advent, but by the end of the season, after telling the Christmas story at least twenty times, after baking, making, shopping, wrapping, singing, decorating, and deflating...I feel like I've lost the Christmas spirit I began the season with.

It's as if my very efforts at making the season merry and bright are what sabotage the whole thing. How does that happen?

By January, I'm usually determined to become a recluse. I've been overstimulated throughout December with dinners, parties, service "opportunities," shopping malls, holiday events, and all the trappings of the season, originally conceived to get us in the "Christmas Spirit" in the first place.

This year, I'm pulling the brakes on this express train, lest it go barreling through all of my good intentions of happy holiday cheer. I really want to enjoy Christmas, rather than pass out from exhaustion on the big day, thankful that it's finally over (sound familiar?). This blessed season has so much to offer, but I'm learning to let go of some of the wonderful opportunities that present themselves in order to truly enjoy and appreciate a select few.

No more Christmas sabotage for me. Keeping focused on the Greatest Gift will be the greatest gift I can offer my family at Christmas.

How do you stay focused on the true "reason for the season?"

The Cookie Thing

2009-12-08T10:08:00.002-05:00

Isn't it fun to bake cookies this time of year? Filling baskets and tins for teachers and friends and family and friends of family with beautifully decorated made-from-scratch pieces of fine art...

I can't even say that without gagging. Last year, I made a huge mistake. I tried to be perfect. I tried to make Martha Stewart-complicated cookie recipes that required too many steps and strange ingredients, and I was out of the holiday mood before the end of the first week of Advent. I was so frustrated in January that I left myself a little note to remind me to keep it simple so that I could enjoy the season this time around instead of drowning in eggs and flour. My gift to you is a short list of ideas to impress others without driving yourself crazy.

1. Don't bake, embellish. The lovely morsels in the picture at the top of this article are actually Amaretti cookies that I purchased. I dipped them in chocolate, and they became yummier and prettier. Had I wanted to really impress, I could have sprinkled them with holiday sprinkles or slivered almonds. The Amaretti cookie company makes their cookies far better than I ever could, so why not let them do it? Besides, technically when I added the chocolate I created ownership in the cookies, so I think saying I made them is not completely false. ;) So, find a good dipping chocolate and some fancy cookies, and dip away! I won't tell if you won't!

2. People who bake from scratch are great, but I don't have time. I also don't want to wash too many dishes. When I was grocery shopping the other day I noticed the holiday baking aisle agrees with me--they have a mix for pretty much everything these days. Snowball cookies, peanut butter ball candy, every cookie imaginable...it's impressive. These great mixes are a sanity-saver when I really just have time to dump and stir, not measure. Once baked, I recommend going back to tip #1--embellish, embellish, embellish. This Thursday is our MOPS Cookie Swap meeting, and my plan is to make sugar cookies from a mix that I have, dip them in white chocolate, and sprinkle crushed candy canes on them. Sure beats the from scratch Black Forest Cookie fiasco of last year, they will probably taste much better, and it's going to cost a lot less, too. (Also, I am making the sugar cookies from a mix because I already have it. I would totally get refrigerated sugar cookie dough for this otherwise!)

Enjoy the season this year, and take it easy on yourself! Got any tips for me? The easier the better!

* SNOW *

2009-12-07T10:16:00.004-05:00

"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says. "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway."

~ Maya Angelou

"To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow."

~William Faulkner

"The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show."

~ Unknown

"I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines."

~ Henry David Thoreau

"Once people start throwing wet stuff, I go inside."

~ Stephanie Meyer (Twilight)

Advent Calendar Craft, Cheap and Easy!

2009-12-06T12:29:00.003-05:00

I know I already did a post about Advent calendars, but I wanted to share the one I just made this weekend (hey, better late than never, right?). The Advent banner I was using was really hokey and had very tiny pockets. I thought I could make something better...it just took a trip to the local dollar store. This Advent calendar cost me $4 to make:

I found the little boxes in the party favors aisle (in the baby section, no less!). They are mint green with white plastic handles. They came 8 to a package, so those cost $3. I found a bag of "Christmas Table Scatter" with glittery green foam pine trees which made a perfect box decoration ($1), then I added the numbers 1-24 using red and green permanent markers. KID 1 decided an A-B-B pattern would look nice (red-green-green) for the numbers, so that's what we did. I tied the boxes onto a length of wide red and green plaid ribbon using strips of fabric and various ribbons (all of which I scrounged from my craft closet). You could also just hang the boxes on the Christmas tree and let the kids hunt for the box of the day.

I think it turned out pretty nice! Here's the whole picture:

And a close-up:

I'm pretty happy with my dollar store Advent calendar! Now those little boxes are just begging to be filled! Our dollar store had small bags of chocolate coins and wrapped Christmas chocolates that will be perfect treats, and I've already got my list of daily Advent activities written on slips of scrapbook paper to stuff into each box. We're having so much fun with our Advent countdown!

Homemade Christmas: Photo Ornaments

2009-12-05T06:00:00.002-05:00

I made this cool ornament from old Christmas cards. I am one of those people that can't throw away a card because someone sent it to me. But I do not have problem repurposing it! I will show you how to make one and if you add a photo of your child or family it makes it even cuter! : )

Here is what you will need:
Christmas cards
Big chunky beads
Paper cuter
Double sided tape
Wallet size photo (I printed mine on paper)
Twine or Ribbon
an Exacto Knife (not pictured... I tried my hole punch but it would not reach)

1.) Cut your cards in to 3X3 inch squares and group them by color. You need 6 squares for each ornament.
2.) On the back side of each square find mark the midpoint on each side (at 1.5 inches)

3.) Score a diagonal line connecting your midpoints. Do this on each square.

4.) Fold on your score lines. You should have 6 squares that look like this:

5.) Choose two squares to be your top and bottom. Find the middle (I drew lines to find mine) and use your Exacto Knife to cut a whole in the center.

6.) Use your double sided tape to connect your 2 of the corners of 2 of your squares

This is what the back should look like

and this is what the front should look like:

7.) Continue connecting until you have 4 of your squares together that make a "tube".

8.) Choose the bottom and sting your twine or ribbon through the hole and attach onto the bottom of your "tube"

9.) Pull your twine up through your tube and through your top piece. Connect your top piece to the rest of the ornament.

10.) Tie a loop on the top.

11.) And tie a bead onto the bottom.

12.) cut out your photos (about 2X2 inch square) and attach it to on of the sides.

SUPER CUTE!!!

Here is the blue one with a ribbon instead of twine.

I entered in a tutorial contest over at See Mommy Sew.

I entered my leg warmers, Monogram plate and Wine gift bag from my Fireflies and Jellybeans blog. So far, the leg warmers has the most votes (for me) so that is my best chance to win.

PLEASE vote for me... please please pretty please! Please support this Motley Mom! It would really mean a lot to me!

See all the tutorials HERE and vote Here

2009-12-03T14:04:00.003-05:00

During this season of giving, I want to challenge you to give in even one more way - give your blood. 37% of Americans are eligible to give blood, but only 5% choose to do so. It's a very easy, mostly painless way to literally save another person's life and 1 pint of blood can help up to 3 different people.
I know, I know - you're squeamish. You don't like needles, you don't like hospitals, you don't like blood. But seriously, moms, don't we come in contact with a lot of stuff on a regular basis that makes us squeamish but we deal with it anyway? I am a major sissy when it comes to bodily fluids, and I can give blood.
It's totally safe. They only use the needles and other equipment once, so there's no chance of infection. You undergo a short medical screening to make sure donating blood won't be hazardous to your health. People who work at blood banks are usually phlebotomists who stick people all the time, so they are gentle and complications are rare. The worst complication is most likely fainting and that can usually be prevented by eating regular meals before you donate and hanging out for a few minutes after you give to get your sea legs back.
This is what will happen if you give blood: You'll answer some questions, fill out some paperwork, have your temperature, pulse rate, and blood pressure checked. The phlebotomist will prick your finger and put a drop of your blood in a solution to see if it sinks quickly - if it does, you're not anemic and can give. If it floats (which usually happens to me), she'll put it in a centrifuge and then check it. Then, once you've been cleared, you'll sit in a reclining chair and the donation will begin. (I'm not going to go into great detail because of those of you who really are squeamish.) I'm not going to lie - it hurts to have a needle stuck in your arm. But it's temporary and not that bad. After a few minutes, she takes out the needle and holds pressure on your arm, then bandages it up. You drink a Coke, eat some cookies, get a free t-shirt, and go home. You might feel a little woozy, so keep activity light for the rest of the day and make sure you eat a good supper. I like to eat steak or another red meat to help replenish the iron I lost. Speaking of replenishing, your body starts to replenish your blood supply immediately. All fluids are replaced within 24 hours and red blood cells are back within 56 days. I've found that the more often I give (every 8 weeks - the limit), the less tired I feel afterward.
There's another reason why I give. My dad was religious about donating blood. His blood type was O-, which means he could give to anyone. He even had some special thing in his blood that allowed him to donate to fetuses. He gave gallons and gallons of blood throughout his life. So not only do I get a free Coke and t-shirt, I get to help people and honor my dad's memory.
This is my challenge to you this Christmas - give. Give money, give food, give toys, give clothes, and give away a part of yourself, a part you don't even really need - give a pint of blood. You never know when you might need someone else to give a pint to you.

Daily Advent Activities

2009-12-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

I'm just now putting together some activities for our Advent calendar and thought I'd share some of our holiday happenings that I wrote on slips of paper and stuffed into the little pockets:

Dec. 1st: Let's decorate the house for Christmas tonight!

Dec. 2nd: Secretly do something nice for someone today.

Dec. 3rd: Let's trim the tree tonight!

Dec. 4th: Let's bring pizza to Grammy and help decorate her house tonight!

Dec. 5th: Christmas at Pinewood is quite a sight - Let's go see it all decked out tonight! (Pinewood is the Spanish-style mansion at Bok Tower)

This adorable mitten Advent garland

would be easy to create at home.

Dec. 6th: A small gift awaits if you follow the clue - It rests in a place where you do, too! (Each gets a special ornament that represents them somehow...our 5-yr-old loves soccer and our 3-yr-old learned how to swing by herself. I found both ornaments at Hallmark, balked at the price, then paid it so I could be done...thanks for the advice, Liz!)

Dec. 7th: Make Pine Cone Ornaments: Spray with fake snow, dab with white, gold or silver paint, add glitter...there are lots of ways to dress up a pinecone!

Dec. 8th: Sing a Christmas carol for Daddy and Mommy tonight - be sure to practice together first!

Dec. 9th: Wrap up your presents for family
And gently place them under the tree.

Dec. 10th: Bake some special cookies to share with our neighbors. (We'll do something easy like these Molasses Crinkles)

Dec. 11th: Let's make a Christmas pizza with RED, WHITE, and GREEN toppings to share with Grammy! We'll watch a Christmas movie, too!

Dec. 12th: Disney decks it's hotels lavishly for Christmas. Let's go ride the monorail and enjoy the decorations...I bet we'll find hot chocolate at the Wilderness Lodge!

Dec. 13th: A brand new Christmas book for Ben and Emma to handle

Sits in a warm, cozy spot up on the _____________. (answer: mantle)

That's all I've got for now...I will plan the rest when we get a little closer to Christmas. As events pop up that I don't know about, I will just swap out that day's activity and replace it with the event (like on Dec. 12th...is that the day of the city Christmas parade?)

What sorts of activities do you do during Advent?

Note to self...

2009-12-01T10:06:00.002-05:00

Seriously, that's what today's blog is about--writing notes to yourself. Let me explain...

Last year's holiday season nearly did it for me--by New Year's I wanted to throw every last piece of holiday cheer into the landfill. The season started badly with an overzealous cookie making campaign, and it ended with all of us so exhausted that we didn't even have our traditional New Year's Eve Christmas together. It was just too much.

After things had cooled down, I asked myself why I was so overwhelmed, and I realized there were several things I could have done differently. Of course, hind sight is 20/20 as they say, but I decided to give future-me a hand with this season.

We keep our family calendar on our Outlook software and it allows me to make appointments well into the next century. Last year I went to the key dates of this year (like the day after Thanksgiving when we decorate) and I left myself strategic notes that would pop up as a reminder. For the past few weeks I've been getting notes about keeping Christmas cookies simple, where to find the decorations I bought on clearance after Christmas last year, and tips on how to make things simpler. Not only is it just plain funny to get notes from myself magically delivered each day, but it's pretty helpful, too. I remember how exhausted-me was desperate to ensure this year was nothing like last year, and I appreciate her efforts. Just when I'm tempted to over-extend, I get a little note and it whips me back into reality.

So, whether you keep a digital calendar or a paper one, I encourage you to take notes this year to help with next year (or next week if need be), and be sure to put them in a place where they will be found. Enjoy the holiday season, and take care of yourself!

If you could leave yourself a note today to make the holidays better for your family, what would it say?

Breaking News: Jesus Releases Heaven's Best Loved List

2009-11-30T10:20:00.005-05:00

Well, maybe it isn't breaking news, but I have uncovered an interview between Jesus and his disciples from over 2000 years ago. We join the group as the disciples are questioning Jesus.

D: Who will be the greatest (your best friends, your peeps, your posse) in the kingdom of Heaven?

J: (Taking a little child to stand beside him) Whoever welcomes this little child in my name, welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me. I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

(Paraphrased from Matthew 18:2 and Luke 9:48)

Holiday Treats and Traditions: Polar Express Hot Chocolate

2009-11-29T21:53:00.001-05:00

This weekend we broke out our holiday books and movies, including a family favorite: The Polar Express, by Chris Van Allsburg. Both the book and the movie feature the one drink I could never go cold turkey on - hot chocolate as rich and smooth as melted chocolate bars.

In fact, as the kids donned their pajamas and settled in to watch the movie, I snuck into the kitchen and whipped up a batch of melted chocolate...a bag of semi-sweet morsels melted in the double boiler, 1/2 cup of heavy cream, and milk (enough to achieve desired chocolate consistency/color), and a dash of cinnamon whisked smooth.

I delivered the steaming mugs of melted chocolate just as the dancing waiters presented the pajama-clad Polar Express passengers with their hot chocolate. Everyone declared it the BEST hot chocolate in the WORLD...even my husband, who only likes "good chocolate."

It's definitely a tradition that bears repeating...several more times this Christmas season. As we read the book together this morning, our 3-year-old noted at the hot chocolate scene, "Hey, that's just like us, Mommy! We had hot chocolate, too!"

Enjoy!

Homemade Christmas- Monogram plate gift

2009-11-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Here is one of the hostess gifts I made this year!

Monogram Fabric-backed Plates:

Here is what you will need:
a clear glass plate
fabric (enough to cover you plate)
Scrapbook paper (enough for your monogram)
Xacto Knife
Scissors
Mod Podge and bush

1.) Make your monogram. I free handed my "N" but you could print a letter off of your computer on the back of your paper using the Mirror Image Printing option. I also traced around the bottom of my plate to know how big to make the letter. 2.) Cut out your letter using an Xacto Knife.

Optional: I distressed my letter with some brown ink. 3.) Cut a piece fabric in a square that is about an inch bigger on each of the sides of the plate. (I know the plate is hard to see but it is clear) 4.) Place your plate on a cup with the bottom facing up. I found it was easier to work with this way!

5.) Brush on a coat of Mod Podge. on the inner circle only for now.

6.) Place your monogram upside down on the Mod Podge.

7.) Brush on Mod Podge over your monogram. Make sure the keep the monogram flat and to press out any bubbles. Now- let dry (Have a sandwhich or something)

8.) When it is dry, bush on more mod Podge all over the whole plate... Be generous with it

9.) Place the fabric over your plate and flatten out any bubbles.

10.) Brush on more Mod Podge all over the top of the fabric. Let dry... this can take a while so just put it off to the side. Or, you can do what I did and check on it every 10 minutes or so... is it done yet?- nope... is it done yet?- nope....

11.) When it is FINALLY dry cut off the extra fabric by cutting around the plate as close as you can. If you are worried about the edges frying you can brush a little more Mod Podge around the edge.

12.) Flip it over! Very Cool!
Wouldn't this be so great as a hostess gift? You can bring it with cookies, bars, or other sweets on top of it and they get to keep the plate!

I also think that it could make a very cool Grandparent gift if you print a picture of your kids or family and put it in the place of the monogram.

Thanksgiving Crafts and Fun Stuff

2009-11-25T09:10:00.000-05:00

My kids are really excited to try some of these Thanksgiving crafts we found online over at FamilyFun.com (and just so you know, I am not being paid to promote them, I just find a lot of cute stuff there. It's my "go to" spot for holiday crafts and ideas.):

These Pilgrim hats are cute and easy

And the Turkey Hats will get you in the mood to "gobble" up your Thanksgiving dinner!

The Mayflower Toppers are the cutest ship chapeaus I've ever seen.

We're thinking we'll make a 3-D version of the Mayflower as a table centerpiece to hold our "I'm thankful for..." notes. KID 1 is a pro at folding paper into boats, thanks to Curious George Rides a Bike!

The Marshmallow Pilgrim Hats look easy and delicious...but maybe a bit messy for little ones, both making and eating.

Older kids might enjoy making these Pilgrim and Native American tube people to decorate the Thanksgiving table. They're adorable and could be saved and reused each year.

Our Top Ten Favorite Holiday Traditions, from Pat

2009-11-22T06:00:00.027-05:00

1. My children each have an advent calendar. They can open one pocket each day. It's just something small (barrettes, a coin, earrings, etc.) but they look forward to it each day.

2. Each day for 16 days the children and I bake a different kind of cookie. On the 17th day, we organize the cookies onto plates that we then give away to everyone who helps us throughout the year from the librarian to the garbage collector, as well as to all our friends.

3. The children and I make all the Christmas cards that we send to friends and family. (Often while the cookies are baking!)

4. We read a different Christmas story for bedtime each night starting on Dec. 1st. We always read Silent Night, In the Manger and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve.

5. We put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. There is a picture ornament for each christmas since the children were born. There's also an ornament for every trip we've taken. They always bring out the stories of "...remember when....". Last we tie a red ribbon on the tree and remember all our loved ones that passed on during the year.

6. Each year, each child picks out a new ornament for the tree that represents something from their life that year to add to the family tree.

7. As often as possible, we sit together as a family in the evenings before bed and sing Christmas songs while Mother plays the piano.

8. In the evening on Dec. 5th, we put our shoes out for St. Nikolas filled with apples and oats for his donkey. We tell the story of St. Nikolas. The next morning, it's been replaced with small gifts from him.

9. We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my husband's family. We always go to the Christmas Eve service at the church together with his parents, brothers and their families.

10. We put up the Nativity set each year and tell the story of Jesus birth as we unwrap each piece. The children have a plastic version they can play with and retell the story over and over again.