DEADBEAT (motley) MOM

Summer is obviously in full swing with all sorts of special memory-making moments for the Motley Moms. Karly's kiss with a curb and Liz's foray into boxing (in more ways than one) just go to prove how dangerous it is to be a mom. Especially a really motley one who has police chasing her all over town or pictures of her injuries going viral on facebook. It's the stuff summer is made of...ahhhh, memories.

While summer happenings have been heating up, our motley writing has definitely taken a "chill pill" as we said in middle school. I don't feel like such a deadbeat anymore, now that I'm in good company! But I do miss clicking over to Motley Moms for my daily peek into the lives of my mom friends. It's my lifeline to the outside world when I'm up here in the middle of the Adirondack mountains with no cell service all summer...the one-liner quips on Facebook just don't do it for me!

It is nice to take a break from it all, though, every now and then. I'm hoping our little summer break will result in lots of great posts when we've all returned to our regularly scheduled programs. For now, maybe I should find the graphic of the color blocks with the accompanying tone to alert the public that we have no Motley programming during the summer break. That would be awesome.

Have fun with your families, but ya'll come back now, y'hear?

You Know You're a Motley Mom When...

My aunt recently emailed me some news that would make most grocery shoppers' blood run cold. Not to make light of someone else's tragedy, but this is my actual, rather motley stream-of-thought email response to her note that "last night's murder/suicide was at MY Publix!"...

Donna: Oh my gosh! I hadn't heard anything about it here. That's scary. I wish our Publix filled online orders for pickup. That would be awesome. I'd never have to drag our two kids through the grocery store again...my own grocery nightmares actually never involve murderers. Just really whiny kids who think popping the air out of the bag of frozen peas and watching how far they scatter is what grocery shopping is all about. Aaaargh! Actually, B was trying, unsuccessfully, to be a good helper by getting the peas out of the freezer section for me. But he spent too long doodling on the inside of the foggy freezer door and when I snapped at him to "hurry up and get the peas!" he grabbed them a little too hard and, "POP!" Then he realized he could "ice skate" down the aisle on the frozen peas. Yep, we are awesome everywhere we go.

Just thought I'd share that little exchange, since you have probably had plenty of your own "Grocery Nightmares" over the years. Don'tcha just love shopping with the kids?!

What I'm Reading

I don't have much that I want to write about lately, mostly because I have a lot going on and not enough distance from it to write about it very well. Suffice it to say that I'm still in the throes of the "baby craze" that I thought I had finally escaped, our outside commitments are threatening to overtake our family commitments, and time is getting away from me.

My escape: read a good book. Four weeks ago I read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, which is so witty and charming, I don't know how I managed to miss this one until now. If you haven't read it, you definitely should.

Next, I moved on to Ender's Game, which made me feel very unoriginal when I read the beginning and felt like I was reading the beginning of my own fictional work in progress, The G.E. Kid. Once I got past the beginning, though, I realized it goes in quite a different direction than I am headed with mine, so I felt a little more inclined to work on mine some more, but not inclined enough to actually do it...yet.

Ender's Game is science fiction for adolescent readers, middle to high school, and I enjoyed it. Before you start judging me for my YA fiction choices, let me remind you that the Twilight series was written for teens as well, and we all know who wound up loving it the most. Yep...Moms. At one point I even heard them called "Twi-Moms" for their crazier-than-the-kids behavior at book signings and movie events. So I'm not alone in my less-than-mature reading material choices.

Next, I have just received a copy of The Time Traveler's Wife from the library's Books by Mail program. I love checking the mail and finding a good book there instead of junk mail! Especially when it's a surprise. I was #30-something on the list when I reserved it online several months ago. It's really interesting so far. Anyone else read it?

After this, I plan to read Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The movie is coming out very soon and it looks really good!

How's that for an eclectic mix of literature? I love to read and my kids know it. We finished The Swiss Family Robinson with the kids and I have just started reading the first Harry Potter book to them. They are completely enraptured by it. It probably doesn't hurt that I do all the accents, including a thick Scottish brogue for Hagrid. I love reading aloud and hearing Paul read aloud to the kids. It's so cozy when we all pile up on the couch for a good story. I can forget about the outside world in that moment.

What are you reading? How do you "escape" at home?

Birth of a Blog Post

Today has been one of those days. The kind where I'm busy all day but by the end, I can't really account for my time. I realized around lunchtime that Liz hadn't posted yet because today is NOT Thursday. I kept holding out hope that she would post something later in the day, since her posting time seems to coincide with naptime, but then the full reality of WEDNESDAY hit me. Time seems to be hurtling away from me these days and I just can't keep track. I know that today is one of those days when squeezing out a blog post will be like giving birth...painful, messy, and forgetable, but decided to check in anyway and share what's on my mind.

We found out today that the homeschool kindergarten rule is, indeed, a stupid, stupid rule that will not go away. Our kindergartners in Florida will not be promoted to first grade unless they have completed an accredited, public school kindergarten program. They will repeat kindergarten whether they need to or not if, for some reason, we cannot provide a homeschool first grade education and must enroll them in school. The rule only applies to kindergarten. After that, students are evaluated for grade level placement.

If kindergarten were still the housekeeping, blocks, and reading centers that I remember, it would be so much more palatable. Unfortunately, kindergarten consists of a LOT of testing, deskwork, and basically the same stuff we did in first grade. Our son hates it. He can read, write, tell time, add numbers, count by 5's and 10's, tie his shoes, and so much more, but sit him in a classroom doing worksheets and deskwork all day and his yearning to learn gets squelched. I hate that I have to watch it happen day by day of this 180 day school year. It's painful.

We love his teacher. We love his school. I love the energy and enthusiasm of the staff. Unfortunately, it's a system that does not serve the kids who excel. I'm looking forward to guiding his education myself next year, nurturing his love of learning. It's going to be so good.

Thank You, From the Bottom of my Chart

I used to be so good about writing thank you notes for anything and everything. If someone did something thoughtful or invited me over for coffee or gave me a gift, a handwritten note (in calligraphy, no less) was soon to follow.

Fast forward to Christmas 2009...I was so grateful to have received only a small handful of gifts this year. I thought, "Oh, thank goodness, I only have to write four thank you notes!" Never  mind the lovely dinners, cookie parties, and playdates surrounding Christmas...I just can't keep up with that level of handwritten appreciation anymore!

But now I have not only my own thank you notes to write, but the kids' thank you's as well! I took them to the dollar store and let them each pick their own pack of thank you cards, just to give them some ownership over the whole process. We made a chart for each kid with the gifts they received and the name of the giver, to be crossed off as the note is written. Our 6-year-old is painstakingly handwriting his own notes, and with his birthday just three days after Christmas, we let him combine both celebrations into one thank you note. He still isn't finished.

Last year, I made him draw a picture of each gift inside blank cards. When he finally finished all his artwork, I am so ashamed to admit that I completely lost his cards, his list of gifts and givers, and the envelopes (which I had already addressed). Those never got sent.

While KID 1 can just barely write his own thank you's this year, KID 2 can NOT, thank you very much. It is apparently my job to thank everyone for her gifts. I've tried having her "decorate" the cards herself in the past, but it becomes tedious for her and she finds something else to do before she's reached the second card.

I've heard of parents taking a picture of the kids with their gifts, but that just seems like extra work for me. Finding the gifts, taking the photo while berating the child in question to "smile like you really like your present!" and then actually having the photos printed and included in each appropriate envelope...I am SO not doing that.

How do you show friends and family appreciation for your kids' gifts? Any ideas for making the process a little easier?

Middle Aged

Stuff that Makes Me Feel Old:

holding books, crosswords, etc., far away from my eyes so I can read them

cold weather vs. my knees

trying to open jars, which I now cannot do without one of those rubber gripper thingys

the stiffness in my left hip I've felt ever since I started cardio kickboxing

Rachel making fun of me for wearing an Aeropostale hoodie

staying up too late - I think I'm still recovering from staying up to watch the National Championship last week

pop music - What is all this crap on the radio? And who are these people?

MTV

excessive moisturizing of my neck so that I don't get turkey neck like my mother and grandmother

peeing a little when I sneeze or cough

my 3-year-old beating me at every Wii game he attempts

Stuff That Makes Me Feel Young:

football

beer

drinking beer while watching football

exercise, especially shooting hoops

playing trains with Ethan

the fact that I have yet to find a gray hair

loud rock music, especially if I'm in the car alone rockin' out

Looney Tunes

Facebook

making my 17-year-old nephew laugh because we have the same sense of humor

How about you? Feel old? Feel young? Share!

Christmas Traditions: The Christmas Campout

I congratulated myself on the awesome new tradition of the kids' "Christmas Campout" by the Christmas tree - complete with homemade pizza, shrimp cocktail ring, Christmas stories read by the fire, sleeping bags and pillows arranged by the tree - until I realized that it's almost 9:00 pm and the kids are still out there giggling and goofing around. File this one under the WHAT WAS I THINKING??? label.

Paul just went out there to quiet them down...for the fifth time. He hasn't come back and it's been 10 minutes. I'm thinking he's probably camping out on the couch tonight.

If I were Rachel, I'd be writing myself a note for next Christmas: "Dear Donna, Regarding the Christmas campout...DON'T DO IT!"

Movie Madness

Totally unrelated to Christmas, I'm wondering what you all do to preserve your DVD movies? We've been through two copies of CARS and I hate to go buy a third, just to have it scratched and ruined again. This is getting expensive!

So many of our favorite DVD's are now unwatchable due to imperceptible (sometimes quite OBVIOUS) scratches. Are you really just supposed to keep rebuying these things? I've copied our music and audiobooks onto the computer (see my recent post Our Listening Library is "Ripped!"), but you can't do that with DVDs...can you?

We've tried the scratch repair kits which, for the most part, do NOT work. We don't usually allow our kids to handle the DVD's, but when KID 1 occassionally does, he's very careful. The disks still end up scratched.

I've seen these things called "D-Skins" on the market, but they're expensive. Has anyone tried them?

How do you keep your DVD movies scratch-free?

The Greatest Gift

I love Christmas. I really do. But sometimes I feel like I'm tying all of my holiday cheer into a beautiful red and green package, handing it to my family, and then realize there's none left for me. I start out with such good intentions of "keeping Christ in Christmas" at the beginning of Advent, but by the end of the season, after telling the Christmas story at least twenty times, after baking, making, shopping, wrapping, singing, decorating, and deflating...I feel like I've lost the Christmas spirit I began the season with.

It's as if my very efforts at making the season merry and bright are what sabotage the whole thing. How does that happen?

By January, I'm usually determined to become a recluse. I've been overstimulated throughout December with dinners, parties, service "opportunities," shopping malls, holiday events, and all the trappings of the season, originally conceived to get us in the "Christmas Spirit" in the first place.

This year, I'm pulling the brakes on this express train, lest it go barreling through all of my good intentions of happy holiday cheer. I really want to enjoy Christmas, rather than pass out from exhaustion on the big day, thankful that it's finally over (sound familiar?). This blessed season has so much to offer, but I'm learning to let go of some of the wonderful opportunities that present themselves in order to truly enjoy and appreciate a select few.

No more Christmas sabotage for me. Keeping focused on the Greatest Gift will be the greatest gift I can offer my family at Christmas.

How do you stay focused on the true "reason for the season?"

A Word of Advice from Donna

Paul and I learned a hard lesson this week, one that I hope you can avoid. Here's what happened:

Last month, our son developed a watery, itchy red eye over the weekend. We took him to the pediatrician on Monday and our suspicions were confirmed: it was pinkeye. He couldn't go back to school until he had at least 24 hour's worth of antibiotic eye drops. The doctor also mentioned that we should go ahead and use these drops on our daughter as needed, since pinkeye is extremely contagious.

His pinkeye cleared up in a couple of days, but he kept complaining that his eye was very sensitive to light. Hmm. I read all the fine print of side effects from the Tobramycin eye drops, but didn't remember seeing light sensitivity as one of them. I assumed it was from the pinkeye and would eventually go away.

No one else in the family ever developed pinkeye (although I was hyper-aware of every little itch in my eyes for days...sort of like when I was teaching and one of my students would have headlice and I couldn't stop scratching my head, sure that I had bugs crawling on my head, too.)

Well, the pinkeye came back in full force on Monday this week, as we made the two-hour drive to the space coast to see the Space Shuttle Atlantis lift off. By the time we parked our car and found a good spot on the river in Titusville to watch it, KID 1 could barely even open his sore eye. The good news is it was bright and sunny, a perfect day for a launch. It went up without a hitch and was an awesome sight to see!

When we got back home that night, I got out the Tobramycin drops and dosed his sore eye and his good eye (that's what you do for pinkeye) and sent him to bed. Paul and I decided that we should take him to our family eye doctor this time, worried that this could be some horrible deep-socket infection doing damage to our son's vision. I need to stop watching House.

The drama involved in our first appointment with the eye doctor was exasperating, but he eventually allowed the nurse to put drops in his eye (while I held his head back and restrained his arms...he managed to kick me in the shins several times before I got my leg wrapped over his leg the way the pediatrician's nurse does when we take him for shots. I wish I didn't have to know the best way to put a full body lock on my child, but there you go.) Everyone was assuming it was an infection until the doctor finally put the blacklight magnifier over his eye and said, "Oh, yeah. There's a foreign body in there." My heart clenched and I tried not to panic.

He allowed me to look through the magnifier and, sure enough, there was a spot on his iris, right at the lower edge. Turns out he had metal in his eye for over a month. The metal had come out, but it left rust in his eye which was preventing his eye from healing properly, leaving him susceptible to infection. We had to come back in the afternoon when another doctor was there who could remove the rust ring from our son's eye.

Really?! Rust in his eye?! We have to do all this again?! We went back and met with the second doctor who gave our son several doses of numbing drops, allowed him to feel the tiny brush he would use to brush away the rust in his eye, and then waited patiently for our son to cooperate while he stuck this little brush in his eye while holding absolutely still. After several threats and a bribe ("We'll have to hold you down and pry your eye open," "We'll have to take you to the hospital and give you gas to make you sleep so we can open your eye and remove the rust," "We won't be able to go camping next week if you have to have eye surgery,"...it was awful, to say the least), he eventually did cooperate, and it took all of two seconds (literally) to remove the rust.

He cried afterward but told us it didn't hurt. He just had to release some of that stress. Poor kid had dealt with this foreign object in his eye for over a month...I'm trying not to feel the heavy weight of guilt that is pressing on my mind. Why didn't I bring him in for a check when he kept complaining about light sensitivity?

Rachel and I were discussing this yesterday after it was all taken care of. We decided that we tend to want to believe that our kids are fine, since most of the time they are. We don't like to act like hypochondriacs...it doesn't go over well at the pediatrician's office. But in the end, no one else is going to be my child's advocate. If I end up with a reputation, so what? I will know that my child is healthy, with no broken bones or metal in his eye.

My advice to you:


1. Even if you know for sure it's pinkeye, go to the eye doctor. The pediatrician doesn't have the necessary equipment to see into the eye for a thorough examination. I'm not blaming our pediatrician. I just wish I had taken our son to the eye doctor in the first place.


2. Listen to your gut instinct, especially when it comes to your kids' health. If you think something is not quite right, have it checked. If it all turns out fine, your mind will be at ease. Who cares if the pediatrician's staff thinks you're a hypochondriac? You're single-handedly keeping them in business!

In Honor of October 7th...

...I've decided it's officially time to panic a little about how quickly October seems to fly by. We have a birthday to celebrate this month AND halloween details to attend to. I'm not sure why I always wait til the last minute to put halloween costumes together, but I'd really rather not stress myself out this year. I love to make the kids' costumes, or at least assemble them from things I've found to create a character they are familiar with. I try not to sew the entire thing...that's way too time and energy consuming!

Isn't this picture hilarious? I told them to look sad because they are lost and hungry...pretty good, huh? I have much better pics of them in costume, but this one was too funny!

Last year, they were Hansel and Gretel. I ordered real leather liederhosen (used) from eBay for KID 1 (that's how I bribed him to be Hansel). All he needed were suspenders and knee socks to finish the look of a little German ragamuffin. KID 2 wore a handmade gown I found at a consignment sale for a few dollars. All I had to make for her costume was an apron and a kerchief for her head. The apron was actually a ruffled pillow sham that I cut in half and sewed onto a long  fabric band (to tie it in back). I sew a mean straight line. Anything more complicated than that requires supervision.

Anyway, I'm thinking Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf will be making an appearance this year. Daddy can be the Woodcutter and Mommy can be the Grandmother. I will definitely be hitting the thrift shop for my granny dress and any extras we may need to finish the look, but we've got everything here except for the red hooded cape. If you've got one I can use, let me know. Otherwise, I'm going to have to get sewing...yikes! Pretty sure I can stick to straight lines for this one...right?

And the birthday...how badly does a three year old need a birthday party? I mean, seriously! Maybe I'm a horrible mother for saying so, but I really don't think they need big parties with friends every single year. Are you tying the noose right now?

What halloween awesomeness do you have planned? I know Rachel's son will be beaming his Buzz Lightyear laser at his friends for halloween. Does anyone else dress up with their kids?

Treasure Hunting

Paul and I are heading off to a mega yard sale today, hoping to snag some good deals on furniture and toys. I love treasure hunting at yard sales, but hate driving around hunting for sales. The community sale we're going to today is huge and every other house or so usually participates. It's in a wealthy neighborhood (Disney's Celebration) so the stuff is usually pretty nice...I'm so excited! Nothing says "Fall" here in Central Florida like the Celebration Yard Sale!

I will try to get back here and post our "finds" this evening! Last year I got $400 Pottery Barn curtains, brand-new in the bag, for $30, a beautiful large gilt frame (antique) for $2 which I still intend to turn into a felt storyboard for the kids, and a bag full of designer, brand name clothes for our son for $1.

Some of you are planning to go yard saling this weekend, too. Stop by and share your treasure finds with us and tell us how you will use or repurpose what you find!

Good luck!
__________________________________________

Edited at 5:30pm - We were a bit disappointed with our haul this time around, but still found some interesting treasures:

Throw pillow covers, The Company Store (new in package): $1 ea.

Harvest placemats, set of 4, The Co. Store (new): $5/set

Magnetix Kit: $2 (included some, but this will also accomodate our existing collection of Magnetix)

This set is made by a New Zealand company called Humdinger. Wood pieces, string and primary colored spheres make this an intriguing, long-lasting learning toy. They can design their own pull-along toys, plus lots of other fun stuff...whatever their imaginations can invent!: $8

Found any treasures lately?

Motley Logos

Hi Motley Moms! Over the summer, I said I would make us some Motley Logos. Well, I just finally got around to it. I have had some interest in old paper ephemera...all of these logos were made with them......any thoughts?

Do we need something more modern? Vintage? Colorful? Give me any ideas you have, and I'll see what I can do!

Edited to add this last logo. I could do all of the Motley Mom's actual silhouettes on this last one.

Deep Facebook Thoughts...by Donna

The more I get into Facebook (FB), the harder it is to write an actual paragraph. You kinda get addicted to the one-liner status updates. Those whose FB status I love to read are the ones who write a funny, but very telling one liner. Liz is awesome at it. She's funny and serious at the same time. "Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." Her FB friends know she's having potty training issues right now. Well...her son is. Or Rachel's "Don't, don't, don't bite your friends." --Yo Gabba Gabba." Or my friend Ticia's status the other day, which was longer, but cracked me up: "...so some people selling cable just knocked on my door and asked "if my mom was here".."uh no".."how about my dad".."nope not here either"..could I tell them that they came by.."why sure I can!" Ha! Ha! Ha!" I think Ticia has like four kids now.

Some people use FB to rant about their politics or other gripes. It's easy to ignore them because they always write WAY more than one line.

Since we're on the subject of Facebook, does anyone else have pity FB "friends?" Someone you know, but who you wouldn't normally see or talk to about personal problems, but they friended you on FB and you can't ignore them because they're friends with someone in your family? Hypothetically speaking, of course. It's a little weird. Especially if they've known you in a more professional context in the past and now they see your status updates about all the wine you drank last night or how badly your "bike parts" hurt, or that you're hobbling around like a little old woman...not necessarily things I would walk around town saying to casual acquaintances.

Is anyone else glad that FB "poking" is pretty much done? Maybe it's not, but I'm discriminating enough not to "friend" anyone who would do something so pointless. Has anyone received an invitation to a FB "pillow fight?" One word..."WHY?"

Anyway, I find Facebook enthralling, like a weird ongoing science/social experiment. People of all ages are using it now and does anyone even remember the name of that other social networking site anymore? Does it even exist anymore? If you're not on FB, you should give it a try. It's fascinating!

Random Ramblings and Falling IQ's

I used to be eloquent. I could remember exactly what I wanted to say, even in the middle of saying it. I could speak intelligently, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. People understood me. I remembered dates, times, names, and faces with no problem. I could make a phone call and remember who I called, even after several rings.

Now, I have to glance at my phone screen to see whose number I dialed. Sometimes even after they have answered. WHAT is that?!

I make plans, immediately forget to write it on my calendar, and then recall the check I wrote for an event I should be at right now. Surprise!

I garble my words, especially when I'm tired. No one can understand me. Not even me. And then I forget what I was trying to say in the middle of saying it.

I can NEVER think of the word I want. It stays cemented to the tip of my brain, taunting me with the knowledge of its existence and my inability to deliver it.

Now I just go on and on about random things like Quakers and furniture and lack of sufficient discipline all in one speech that should be about, I don't know, say "summer vacation." And it doesn't even occur to me that it's unusual until I realize people are jokingly referring to my propensity for winding speeches involving Quakers, removal of furniture, and discipline. Hm.

Who is this person? Is motherhood to blame? Has my IQ actually dropped because of it? WHAT is going on?

One Less Kid

We only have two, but sending KID 1 off to Kindergarten has really given me a LOT more time and energy to get stuff done around here. It's amazing what a difference one less kid makes when it comes to home projects! My house is cleaner, more organized, and more "put together" than ever before. I feel like I have a little more time to spend making things work better around here. I'm cleaning out closets, getting rid of excess stuff, planning our menus for the week, and creating "systems" for managing the household. Holy crap! It's like a whole new woman is emerging from the tired, stressed out, weight-gaining, unmotivated, unhealthy old me. And I didn't even realize things had gotten so bad until I could compare the "old me" to the "new me." I just thought I was lazy for the last five years. Wow! I feel so much lighter. 52.5 lbs lighter, in fact.

I guess I had just gotten into a rut. Mostly due to the fact that there are only a limited number of hours in the day, much of them taken up by our two preschoolers. And as you know, staying home with preschoolers is HARD WORK! While I didn't have to change his diapers anymore, or even change wet sheets, or get him dressed, or feed him, our five-year-old required so much of my time and energy to train him, love him, and entertain him. Now that he's spending most of his learning time at school, I feel like I can just relax and have fun with him when he's at home.

I'm able to focus more attention on our little one now, who loves having Mommy all to herself. She started preschool this week, so now I have two mornings a week to work out, do some writing, get my hair cut, go shopping, schedule appointments, or relax, all without having to juggle two kids simultaneously. When I went for my yearly this spring, both kids were with me and they both decided to wear their cowboy boots and hats. "Brought my posse, Doc," I quipped to the doctor as she bustled in to find two cowhands climbing on her stool. It will be so nice to walk into the ob/gyn exam room ALONE!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids. We have fun together. I didn't even realize how depleted I was until I got some time back for myself. This is the first time I have had daylight hours to myself in over FIVE YEARS! It's great, but I also wouldn't trade these past five years for all the tea in China. I've just entered a new "phase" of mothering, and I have to say, it's fabulous! Like Karly, I didn't shed a single tear when we delivered our little Kindergartner to his teacher on the first day of school. I was ready for the change and so was he.

"Have a great day at school, honey!"

A Health Care Crisis - Guest Post by Lita

A couple of months ago, I went to see the doctor because I had been feeling tired. What spurred me to actually go was the fact that I was going to be turning 38 in July. The year my sister turned 38, she was diagnosed with a thyroid condition. One of her first symptoms was fatigue. She had encouraged me to have my bloodwork done, since there is a genetic component to thyroid issues.

So after explaining to the doctor about my sister, and my fatigue, and the fact that I have two children under the age of 5 and I just know that’s the real reason I’m so tired, but I just have to find out for sure, the doctor gave me a prescription for lab work – a complete blood analysis plus check for folic acid and B12. I went to LabCorp with my prescription in hand at 6:45 am on Friday, July 3. The sign in the window read, “CLOSED JULY 3rd DUE TO HOLIDAY.” So I went back home and spent two more tired days at home until I could go back.

I returned on Monday, again at 6:45 am, along with twenty other people! Everyone quickly formed a line to sign in and proceeded to sit down and wait. Everyone was thinking the same thing, I’m sure. “This is going to take forever.” To pass the time, I picked up a dog-eared Redbook magazine dated sometime last year. As I waited, I could hear the elderly couple a few seats away debating if they were going to stay and wait or go to breakfast. I was hungry too, since fasting was required before the blood draw.

Considering the number of people she needed to attend to, the woman behind the counter was exceptionally efficient and friendly. She called us up quickly, one at a time, and confirmed what the regulars were there for and added information about the new patients to her database. Finally, everyone was seated.

Then a man came in and approached the counter. His hair was disheveled and he was very thin. It looked like he was ready for a flood because his pant legs were much too short for his lanky frame. A thin belt held up the worn jeans he had on. I couldn’t hear what he told the woman at the counter, but I did hear her say in her commanding voice, “I need you to come around and step inside please.” She then told him that before she could do any additional lab work today, he would need to pay his balance in full. I actually could make out his quiet response. He said, “But I don’t have that kind of money.” They stood there looking at each other for several moments, and then she said, “Well, I’m sorry I can’t help you.”

The man quietly walked out of her office door into the waiting room and headed slowly, outside. I could see him sitting on the windowsill outside of Pizzano’s. He pulled out a cell phone and called someone. Then he lit a cigarette. And then he walked away.

A few things went through my mind in those short minutes. One was, I wonder how much he owes the lab? Another was, if I asked everyone in this room (which now numbered probably close to 30) to donate $5 to help this man, we could hand him $150 right here and now. If I asked for $10, there would be $300. And it didn’t look like anyone at the lab that day was hurting too much. Then another voice in my head said, “You don’t know his story. He’s got a cell phone. He must have some money, some means to handle this on his own. Let it go.” But ever since that day, I can’t stop thinking about him. I wish I wouldn’t have let it go.

Years ago, when I was fresh out of college, I lived in Seattle with my then boyfriend who was in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps. Our circle of friends was made up entirely of optimistic young Catholics fresh out of college looking for some real world experience to put on their resumes. One friend in particular worked at a men’s shelter in downtown Seattle where panhandling was not uncommon. Rather than hand out money, which would likely go toward the purchase of alcohol or drugs, Adam handed out resource cards he made on the computer – listing shelters, emergency food banks, counseling services and their phone numbers. This young Republican insisted that there were plenty of agencies and programs out there that could help the needy and disenfranchised.

Well, on my drive home that morning I thought about Adam and his cards and I wondered what local agency or program would handle helping this man here in Lake Wales? I wish I had known. I wish I wouldn’t have been afraid to step out of my comfort zone, sitting there reading my magazine, waiting my turn so I could go back home to my home and my family.

When I got home, my husband said he sees the same scene on a regular basis in Orlando where he works as a firefighter. People who can’t afford health insurance or who don’t have jobs that provide it or those folks who simply have no means to provide for themselves (often due to drug problems) are very often the people they have to respond to in the middle of the night. These people have no network. They often have lost family and friends. They have often lost themselves.

So here I am, finding myself awake in the middle of the night asking myself these questions, “Am I my brother’s keeper? Is it enough to donate my time or money to churches or to causes? What kind of moral imperative do I have to answer to when we see strangers in need? What will I do the next time I am confronted with an unplanned choice in my daily life? Are non-governmental organizations and faith-based programs able to provide enough care to the disenfranchised without seeking the aid of our federal government’s dollars? Is health care a right for every American? What would Jesus have done?”

What about you? What will you do?

Seussical Summer

“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.”

~ Dr. Seuss, One fish two fish red fish blue fish

After my heavy post last week, I thought I would try to post something lighter. Last week, I read a few of our Dr. Seuss books to Alex at bedtime, and I got inspired. If I were friends with Dr. Seuss himself, this is probably how he would sum up the last month with the Carvers.

Moving
A month ago we moved cross-state.
My husband didn’t hesitate
to drive this huge gigantic van
in the back of our caravan.
But soon after the trip began
we had to pull over and talk to the Man.
The state trooper was firm but kind.
DH was following too close behind.
That’s my wife, my husband said.
Oh said the Man. His face was red.
A warning was our souvenir,
and then my DH kept off my rear.

School
This one wants to ride the bus.
Every day he makes a fuss
when I put him in the car
to drive to school. Here we are.
But I must keep him safe you see,
from big mean kids who bully.
But this one is convinced he’ll see
Dana and Roy from Hoot, the movie.
It’s so hard when we’re young to see
what’s pretend and what’s reality.

Gaining Weight
You cannot trust your underwear.
This is a fact I’m sad to share.
They watch you eat and eat and eat
foods way too salty, fat and sweet
and then they grow and grow and grow.
They grow in silence; you won’t know
until it is to late my friend
with ten new pounds on your hind end.

Kindergarten? Already?!

Our oldest child is no longer a preschooler. I can't believe it. He starts Kindergarten on Monday and he's really excited. His backpack is all packed with glue sticks, scissors and folders and his school t-shirts are ready for the first week of school.

I feel really good about his school and his teacher. She is so sweet and loving. Just what KID 1 needs after a rather rough, stressful summer. And it just so happens I taught with her before I had kids, my mom taught at the same school, and my mother-in-law taught with her many years ago in Frostproof! I also graduated with her son. It's uncanny, really, that we have so many little connections with this teacher. I'm beginning to think it was God's way of smoothing this transition and easing my anxiety.

His classroom is bright and organized, inviting children to step in and find an activity. The school is welcoming, full of happy, energized teachers and administrators, and just around the lake from our house. I look forward to getting involved and volunteering on campus.

I know our son is ready for this new world of backpacks, new friends, reading, writing, and 'rithmatic. He will now spend the majority of his waking hours away from us, learning and growing in ways we may not even realize, for the next thirteen years. I'm not entirely sure that I'm ready for this.

For those of you who have seen your babies off to school, how well did you do on the first day? Was it hard to watch them walk down the sidewalk, dwarfed by their backpack and the older students striding confidently to their classrooms, knowing that this is just the beginning of your child's life away from you?

This week, for the third time in my life, I am packing up and leaving my hometown, Mattoon, Illinois. If breaking up is hard to do, cutting ties with my hometown has been even more difficult. I was born in this town at the old hospital. My dad and his sisters grew up here, so needless to say, my grandparents lived here. I was baptized here, and I learned to drive on these city streets. My first job was here at Kmart, one of the anchor stores of our mall. In 1991, I graduated from high school here. For 10 years, I worked here, and my parents and brothers still live here.

Each summer, Mattoon hosts Bagelfest, the world’s largest FREE bagel breakfast. (Maybe we should have our Motley Moms Retreat here one year. The festival is delightfully tacky, so it would give a whole new meaning to the term Motley.) We lived here when we were going through our infertility nightmare, and I began running to deal with the stress. I have so many great memories of early morning runs around Lytle Park and down Western Avenue. Lytle Park is home to our town’s swimming pool, which has a great kids’ play space, and it is beautifully landscaped. Western Avenue is lined with stately old homes and tall shade trees. Mattoon is also home to the ORIGINAL Burger King. They serve great thin fried hamburgers, and the guy who calls your order’s number has an instantly recognizable nasally way of saying “Forty-Four.” Even Alex can imamate him.

Mattoon is also home to my favorite pizza place in the whole entire world, Villa Pizza. When my friend Michelle moved to Texas, her family would freeze Villa pizzas to take to her, and I once drove home from Indiana to have Villa pizza on my birthday. It was totally worth the three hour drive. When I was in high school, my first date worked at Villa, and I think he still works there today. Tomorrow night, we will be eating Villa pizza for our last night in town.

Even though I have a great love for this town, I am certain I do not want to live here. I need to strike out on my own and live on my own terms. Maybe it is because I am a complex blend of an independent peacemaker. I want to do things my way, but I don’t want to ruffle any feathers while doing it. Maybe this just isn’t the place God has in mind for us. Whatever the reason, I will once again be leaving my town and my family. I think this time will be easier, and I really hope it sticks.

Exactly one year ago today, the three Carvers loaded our pets and the last of our possessions to move down to Florida. It was so sad to leave my family and friends, but we were filled with promise and excitement of a new adventure. God’s timing is so ironic. I would have never guessed our lives would be starting over again just one year later. This proves God has a sense of humor. I am looking forward to the new town and new possibilities, but thanks to my other Motley Moms, I don’t have to be so desperate to find friends. You girls were lifesavers when I landed the strange new world that is Florida. Thanks to your friendship that spans miles, I can always have girls close to my heart. I have learned so much from you, and I am looking forward to taking you with me on my next move! Maybe someday you will all decide to pile in a van and meet at my house. (I know it would take an act of God for such craziness, but stranger things have happened.)

So just like Willie Nelson and Charles Kuralt, this week, we will be on the road again. I look forward to sharing all of my motley-ness with you from the Pacific Northwest. OK, it’s not really the Pacific Northwest, but when you’ve spent the last winter in a tropical paradise, it might as well be.