This World

I love this world. I know I'm not supposed to. I'm a Christian; therefore, I'm supposed to be set apart and love the people in the world, but not the world. I'm in the world, not of it, etc., etc. I can't help it, though, I love this world. There are just so many great things to love about it.

1. Organized Sports: I've written before about my obsession with Alabama football, but I also love pro baseball, pro football, college basketball playoffs, golf, hockey, MMA, lacrosse, and even soccer sometimes.

2. TV: Lately I've been watching Seasons 1-5 of "Lost" on Netflix instant streaming and I'm completely hooked. It's such a terrific story and I can't wait to see what happens next. I stay confused, but I've hung in there because of the characters and writing. I love great writing.

3. Books: Speaking of writing, I sure do love to read. Right now I'm on a Frederick Forsyth kick. I love to read anything, though. My husband got me hooked on Kipling and I've always been a fan of Dickens. I even read nonfiction, and not just self-help books. I love the Bible the most, as I "should," but some secular stuff moves me almost as much as Scripture does.

4. Music: Music moves me, as well. I love hymns and praise music, but as I'm talking about what I love about the world, I'll tell you that I also love booty music and really loud rock and roll. I love Rimsky-Korsakov and Mozart and some old twangy country.

5. Movies: This is where I could really get in trouble. Well, here and with Ludacris, Jay-Z, and Eminem. Anyway, I love movies, especially raunchy ones like The Hangover and Superbad. I love to laugh. I also love science fiction, so I enjoy Star Wars and Star Trek and pretty much anything with good special effects. I like martial arts, so I also watch Jet Li and Jackie Chan movies.

Hopefully I'm not so wrapped up in the stuff I love about this world to also care about its people and to see the ugliness and evil all around me. Hopefully I can get out of my "Lost" fog and away from football games to show the love of God and really be in the world, but not of it.

Just GO!

I have a friend (A collage roommate) whose 16 month old baby has to have some pretty major medical procedures done recently and in the near future. (I am being vague, since it is not my child) She lives about 4.5 hours away from the hospital that is working with their family. So, that means every time they have an appointment or a surgery they have to travel 4.5 hours away from home, spend the night at a relatives house and deal with this without most of their friends and family. And to make things more difficult the hospital does not allow children under the age of 5 (even siblings!) to come because of H1N1..etc... So that means their 4 year old son cannot come to visit his sister and be with his parents!

The thing is, is the hospital is only about 1/2 hour from my house...absolutely doable for me to visit and bring some food. I have been trying to keep up with the updates on her blog (I LOVE blogs), so when I read that they would be in town at the hospital for a surgery I sent her an e-mail letting her know that I would like to visit and bring some dinner, if that was OK. I thought that the surgery would not be until the next week so I have plenty of time of plan everything out. but I got an e-mail back saying that they would going to be here TOMORROW!

My mind starting coming up with excuses on why I couldn't go... "I have something planned at 8 PM ... that might be tight to bring dinner and make it." "Since children under 5 can't go, I have to find a sitter for my little king... this is too short of notice..." "I don't really feel like going today" I know...I suck!

BUT I stopped and pulled myself together and said to myself (yes I talk to myself.... I know you do too so shut-up!) "When your friend is at the hospital because their BABY is having surgery YOU JUST GO! This is not about you - it is about them! Find a way!" And I did! And I was so happy that I could be a friendly face at the hospital, bring some yummy food and ice cream for dessert (everything is better with ice cream!). It was nice to visit with my friend and see her baby was doing fine after the surgery! I know a little about hospital life, my brother had 6 major heart surgeries growing up. It was always so nice when someone would come to the hospital and visit, even just for a little while. It was SUPER great if they brought food! : ) Even this little gesture was HUGE to us as a family while my brother was recovering.

I am not writing this to toot my horn and show you what a great person I am... actually the opposite. My true nature was to stay home and make an excuse, but with the guiding of the Holy Spirit I was able to be there for a friend. I know that God was speaking to me through my excuses. I had a choice to listen or ignore it. I choose to listen! It is so easy for me to get caught up in my 'busy" life and make excuses not to do things, but sometimes you just have to drop everything and JUST GO!

I believe that if I can do it, you can too!

I'm not really into New Year's, so this post will be about Christmas.

Honestly, this year Christmas made me think a lot about...well, Christmas and what it's really all about. I posted the clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas a few weeks ago where Linus is quoting Luke 2 and telling Charlie Brown that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. I know this, but what I'm wondering is why do I make it about so much more?
I really don't do a lot for Christmas. I bought presents for 6 people - Todd, Ethan, Micah, my 2 SILs and my MIL. I got some gift cards for the lady who cleans our house and the babysitter we pay and our pastors, but that's it. Pam was wondering how I get by with only buying for 6 people. Well, first of all, Todd's siblings and I draw names, so that's 2 right there. We always buy for his mom because she's his mom and of course we're going to buy for each other and our kids. I'm an only child, my father is dead, and my mother and I are estranged. It's not such a happy story when it comes to my side of the family. So when people say Christmas is about being with your family, well, that kind of makes me feel like crap. I have to make sure I focus on my "real" family - Todd, Ethan, and Micah, and Todd's family, because they make me feel like I've always been a part of them.
I decorate, but not heavily. I don't bake (except 1 batch of no-bake cookies for MOPS) and the only cooking I did was a quiche for breakfast Christmas morning and a pecan pie for dessert that night. So Christmas is not about goodies and big dinners and parties and it sure ain't about snow and cold weather, because I live in Central Florida.
And has anyone ever noticed how many people get sick around Christmas? That kind of puts a damper on the whole "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" idea. Micah woke up Christmas morning with a fever of 101. And did I mention Ethan has a broken leg?
I enjoyed watching the boys open their gifts and I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed opening my own presents. But the shopping, the few days I went to stores and didn't do it online, the shopping made me feel kind of hollow inside. I don't want to just be a consumer!
We watched Christmas specials with our kids, Charlie Brown and The Grinch (we do not like The Grinch) and Dora and Rudolph and The Backyardigans and I think even the Wonder Pets had a Christmas special and it was all, "Christmas is about giving," and "Christmas is about Santa," and "Christmas is about helping others," and while those are all noble ideas, even the Santa one, I wanted to scream at the TV, "No, it's not! Christmas is about Jesus!"
I don't want to be a crazy religious person, giving up the tree because it was a pagan symbol and Santa because he's not real and the gifts because we have so much stuff we have nowhere to put it and there are people in the world who don't even have clean water. I don't want to be like that, really. I see the value in all those things. But I want something MORE out of Christmas. Or maybe, maybe what I want is less. Maybe all I want is to see the Christ child. So maybe I should, on the cusp of this New Year, make a (ugh, I can hardly say it) "resolution" to focus on Him every day, and not wait until Christmas to "make it all about Him." That's a lot of pressure for 1 day. And I need Him more than 1 day out of the year. Trust me, I need Him A LOT.

Our Top Ten Favorite Holiday Traditions, from Pat

1. My children each have an advent calendar. They can open one pocket each day. It's just something small (barrettes, a coin, earrings, etc.) but they look forward to it each day.

2. Each day for 16 days the children and I bake a different kind of cookie. On the 17th day, we organize the cookies onto plates that we then give away to everyone who helps us throughout the year from the librarian to the garbage collector, as well as to all our friends.



3. The children and I make all the Christmas cards that we send to friends and family. (Often while the cookies are baking!)

4. We read a different Christmas story for bedtime each night starting on Dec. 1st. We always read Silent Night, In the Manger and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve.

5. We put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving. There is a picture ornament for each christmas since the children were born. There's also an ornament for every trip we've taken. They always bring out the stories of "...remember when....". Last we tie a red ribbon on the tree and remember all our loved ones that passed on during the year.



6. Each year, each child picks out a new ornament for the tree that represents something from their life that year to add to the family tree.

7. As often as possible, we sit together as a family in the evenings before bed and sing Christmas songs while Mother plays the piano.

8. In the evening on Dec. 5th, we put our shoes out for St. Nikolas filled with apples and oats for his donkey. We tell the story of St. Nikolas. The next morning, it's been replaced with small gifts from him.

9. We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my husband's family. We always go to the Christmas Eve service at the church together with his parents, brothers and their families.

10. We put up the Nativity set each year and tell the story of Jesus birth as we unwrap each piece. The children have a plastic version they can play with and retell the story over and over again.

Fireproof, Revisted

Several weeks ago I wrote a scathing review of the movie Fireproof. I'm not here to write a retraction because I still think it's a lousy movie; however, my husband and I have started attending a small group at church based on the materials from Fireproof and I have to admit that it's great. Our small group is reading the book The Love Dare, which is featured in the movie. Basically the book takes you through 40 days of small "dares" that you do with your spouse. For instance, buying your spouse a small gift, doing some selfless act of service, calling your spouse during the day to see if they need anything, etc. It probably sounds rather simplistic and it definitely seems that way in the movie, but there's more to this book than just the dares. It's based on 1 Corinthians 13, which gets read at weddings a lot, but I'm not sure many of us spend a lot of time reading it after we get married. I know I don't. The main point of the book, though, is, "Don't follow your heart. Lead your heart." When I first read that statement, I thought, "Oh my gosh. That's genius." It's totally against what our culture tells us to do, but it's the truth. It's what's right. It's not at all what I usually do, but it's now what I'm trying to do.
What's interesting about this marriage group is that the principles of love I'm learning about with my husband are also spilling over into my relationships with my children. One week we talked about our love languages and now I find myself wondering what my kids' love languages are. Ethan's seems to maybe be quality time, so instead of saying, "No, honey, Mommy's reading," when he wants me to help him set up his train track in the den, I say, "Okay." I'm also trying to lead my heart instead of follow it. Because honestly, sometimes my heart tells me to run screaming out of the house and into my car, never to return. And that wouldn't be such a good mommy thing, huh?
So I'm giving credit where credit is due. When I wrote that bad review of Fireproof, people told me that they've seen God use it to transform people's marriages. Well, it's true. Only with me it's transforming all of my important relationships.

Life and Death

Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Walter Cronkite, Patrick Swayze. The older I get, the more I recognize celebrities who die. For a long, long time it was just River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain. Everyone else who died was old when I was a kid, so it didn't affect me much. But the deluge of celebrity deaths this summer has really made me sad. It also gives me the creeps. I start thinking ridiculous things, like, "Are these the end times? Are these people being punished for their misdeeds? What did Patrick Swayze ever do to anyone?" And then I think about my own life.
I had a rough year once. In April 2007, my cat died. Then my mentor teacher died. Then my mother-in-law was in a serious accident that left her bedridden for 3 months. During that time, my father-in-law succumbed to lung cancer. 7 months later, my father died suddenly of a heart attack. This past summer, in addition to the celebrities, 4 people I knew (or at least knew of - their loved ones are my loved ones) died. It's not the end of the world (as we know it and I feel fine) or punishment or anything else. It's just life. Life ultimately ends in death. The Bible talks about death a lot. Psalm 116:15 is a verse that has both angered and comforted me when I've lost loved ones. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." It's funny that it took the deaths of these celebrities this summer to make me start thinking about my own mortality. Because it's not that something new is wrong with the world. It's that I'm at the age now where famous people I grew up with are dying. Some of my friends' parents are dying. It's just another stage of life, which means I'm getting older and closer to my own demise. I'm not going to lie - even though I know I'll go to Heaven, the thought of death freaks me out. But my point is not to dwell on mortality or to be especially morbid. My point is that I've realized that my "bad year" was just life being life. It was nothing special and it certainly wasn't unique to the human condition. Because honestly, I've had other "bad years." There was the year my grandfather died, my parents divorced, and my house flooded. And the year when I was 4 and my parents and I all had the flu at Christmas and we were really far away from our family and I had a kidney infection and and and. You see what I mean? I could get really morbid and pessimistic if I thought about this stuff too much. Jesus told us it would be hard. It should come as no surprise when life is hard. In fact, John 16:33 says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." It's the last part of this verse I'm going to focus on. He's overcome the world. And I am truly blessed.

Finding Heaven

Disclaimer: This week, I am sharing a winding train of thought that has hijacked my mind. I promise, I am not trying to preach to anyone, but I am just sharing some of the things I have been trying to wrap my mind around.

When I was a teenager, Belinda Carlisle sang a catchy little tune called “Heaven is a place on Earth.” Despite my love for almost ALL 80s pop hits, I couldn’t listen to this song. I love the tune, but I was raised strictly Baptist, and I was pretty sure the lyrics were sacrilegious. If we couldn’t play cards in the church, listening to this song would require a lot of forgiveness. Contrary to what Belinda thinks, I do know Heaven isn’t a place on earth, but I don’t know much about Heaven at all.

Even though I’ve been a Christian for most of my life, I am still a baby in Christ. I am battling a lot of my legalistic teachings from my childhood and trying to learn about God and how he feels about me. Last week, I spent a lot of time debating this passage, which is one of my favorites:

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I can’t help but read this verse and wonder how it applies to people in dire circumstances? I believe God does carry us through the tough times, but how can my sister-in-law’s cancer be a light burden? Or what about my friend Chrissy, whose husband was killed in Afghanistan? Surely her burden of raising four small children on her own isn’t light?

To thicken the plot, my week began with startling news. On Sunday, our new pastor said that we would have to work in heaven! Can you believe that? Since I have never heard of this before, I had to run this past my fact checker, Matt. Matt is my good friend Carrie’s husband and is studying for his masters in Divinity. I knew he could either confirm or deny this shocking idea - not that his answer would change my mind. I still, of course, want to go to heaven, and I have always wondered what on earth we would do to pass eternity. Matt confirmed that yes; we would probably be working in heaven. He gave me a great answer, which is in part:

"If you look at the Garden of Eden, Adam had work prior to the fall – to tend that which God gave him dominion over. The fall turned this work into toil and added thorns and thistles. I think of it as an environment where everyone wants you to succeed, and wants to help however they can. There was a metaphor I heard for humility that might fit what work would be like in heaven. The metaphor had to do with creating the greatest cathedral the world has ever known, and then being just as pleased when someone else creates one that surpasses it. Think about it this way – when God created the heavens and the earth, he said that it was good. In fact He is the master builder, and so there isn’t anything conceivable that would be better. If that was the case when he made the world to begin with, then probably heaven won’t be totally different? Of course this is an area that you probably shouldn’t hold to strong of a view either way; it’s just up for wondrous speculation."

Later in the week, I was talking with my good friend Jody who is also very knowledgeable in the ways of God. I was wondering out loud about the irony of this passage in Matthew, and she gave me the answer I was looking for. The word yoke here, when translated from either Greek or Hebrew (she told me, but I forgot which one) means a double-sided yoke used to pull a team of oxen. Since I am not Greek, Hebrew, or an Oxen farmer, it is easy to see why I did not know this. Jesus uses this illustration to say that he will be pulling on the other side of the yoke with us. Holy Chicken Cacciatore! The girl is so bright!

As I am trying to sort this out and reconcile the idea of extreme suffering with a light burden, I begin to remember that being a Christian does not entitle me to a Christian Protection Program. For some reason, my mind keeps defaulting to a rule somewhere in my brain and nowhere in the Bible that says being a Christian is easy and comfortable. God never suggests this, and the Bible is filled with examples of the contrary. Jesus’ life was filled with persecution and suffering. The apostle Paul wrote Philippians, one of my favorite books, from a jail cell! Matthew 5:45 explains, “…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Earlier in the very same chapter, Jesus teaches that Christians will be persecuted and rewarded eternally for their hardship.

Finally, this morning, I was able to make sense of all of my ramblings. I need to have a stronger vision of heaven. To achieve a goal, you have to know what you’re reaching towards. The problem isn’t with God or his teachings; it is with my limited understanding and short-sightedness. I loved Fawnda’s blog yesterday because it brought back memories of those early days with Alex. Having a child is the best TANGIBLE gift from God I have received so far in life. I love Alex so much, that I cannot imagine a better gift, but I do have a better gift – ETERNAL LIFE! When I wanted to get pregnant, I was acutely aware of the fact that God’s eternal life for me was unearned, undeserved and un-top-able. Philippians 3:14 states, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:20 goes on to say, “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.” Somewhere along the way, I started thinking too earthly and not enough eternally.

So, Motley Moms, what do you think Heaven will be like?

Girl at War

My sister-in-law Kyann is the bravest girl I know. In March of 2003, Kyann lived alone in Savannah, Georgia. Each day while she was working, her husband Earl was sleeping. For more than six months, she did all of the cleaning, all of the shopping, paid all of the bills, and took care of all of their dogs - all alone. They had only lived in Savannah for two months when Earl left, and Kyann was almost a thousand miles away from her friends and family.


Each night, when she went to bed alone, Earl would get up and set off again to drive endlessly across the open dessert. Earl's Cavalry Regiment was attached to the Army's 3rd ID (Infantry Division). The 3rd ID was the Army's first conventional U.S. unit to enter Baghdad during the 2003 invasion in our war with Iraq. Earl's Unit had an embedded report, so each night Kyann could watch the Bradleys (tank-like vehicles) trek across Iraq towards Baghdad.

Being the first land unit in Iraq brought many challenges. If the unthinkable happened, we would watch it on the news before my sister-in-law would be notified. We would know that something terrible happened before we knew for sure Earl was safe. Camps weren't set up. There were no places to shower, eat or even sleep, not to mention the obvious dangers Earl faced in combat.

Through all of this, Kyann was brave and independent. She wasn't negative and did not complain. I think I cried about her being alone and Earl being in danger more than she did.

Now six years later, Earl is home safe, but Kyann is fighting her own war. In late April, my dear sister-in-law was diagnosed with Stage III Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Just this week, we found out that the cancer is now Stage IV. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is very aggressive, and she is facing an uphill battle, yet true to her nature, Kyann is calm and positive. She never complains. She has not changed any of her daily routine or dished off any wifely or motherly duties. She rarely cries and keeps looking for ways to help others.

I talked to her on Thursday to get the details from her doctor's appointment. In the very same conversation, her good news was that she had decided to put together a team for Louisville's Susan G. Koman Walk for Life. Her example of strength and grace makes me think that God didn't allow this to happen to me largely because he wouldn't have wanted to hear me whine. So, in the spirit of Kyann, I will share with you some quotes I found to help encourage her and maybe me too.

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are but small matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. " ~ Psalm 34:18

"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell." ~ Lance Armstrong

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~ Maya Angelou

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"Therefore we do not loose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16



Kyann reminds me of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. She is kind and does not envy. She is not proud and doesn't boast. She always protects, always trusts and always perseveres. She will probably be very embarrassed when I tell her I blogged about her. Kyann doesn't want anyone to fuss over her or worry about her, but she is a hero who needs our support. (BTW - The adorable little girl in the photo is her daughter, my one-year-old niece Bella. She looks like me, right?) Will you please pray for Kyann and her family? Please pray for God to guide her to the right treatment at the right time to beat this disease. Also, be advised that in the near future, I will be asking you all to sponsor me as I walk with her in October.

Mornings with Beth

I have a 6 AM bible weekly study that meets at my house. When I was telling Karly that she said "Wait! Did you say 6 AM? as in 6 o'clock in the morning? Are you crazy?" Yes I am... it is nice to that cleared up!

Four friends and I meet in my basement each week for a Beth Moore Bible study. This is my first Beth Moore experience. We are doing Believing God. It is a study challenging us: Do you believe God? Or you do simply believe in God? For her studies you watch a video of Beth each week and there are daily "homework" lessons for you to do during the week. We are four weeks in,and I LOVE it! Beth (Can I call her Beth, is it OK to be on a first name basis with Beth Moore?) has a way of grabbing hold of the truth and after you hear her tell you about it, you think "That is what I have been missing!"

The mornings that I have Bible study with Beth I feel charged up! Like I can take on ANYTHING! In this series Beth has 5 principles that she wants us to learn:

• God is who he says He is.
• God can do what He says he can do.
• I am who God says I am.
• I can do All things through Christ.
• Gods Word is alive and active in me.

Her whole point is, if we truly believed these thing in our hearts (not just in our heads), we would be living completely different lives!

I am working through the "I am who God says I am" set of lessons this week. I had finished reading about how God has "made us complete as ministers of a new covenant" (2 cor. 3:6) He has given us everything we need to be in ministry with Him. We are made to serve him. That is when I felt it... The nudge of God... it was very very clear! God said "Fawnda I have made you to love middle schoolers... what are you going to do about it?" (You see, I had been thinking about volunteering with the Middle School youth group on Wednesday nights, I know they always need helpers, but I was finding excuses not to: I am busy, what if I am not right for it, would the youth pastor really want ME helping out.) It was clar to me what God was talking about. So, I walked over to my computer and e-mailed the youth pastor that I wanted to help on Wednesday nights and pressed send before I could change my mind! : ) I got an e-mail the next day from our youth pastor telling me that I was an answer to prayer!

How exciting is that?!? I LOVED LOVED LOVED my youth group experience and it shaped me is so many ways. I am so excited to be part of that for these kids.

Dealing with Death

Pop Pop passed away on Sunday morning this week after a long decline this year. He and Grammy made it to their favorite place on Earth, Silver Bay, NY, and have lived with us for the past month. This enabled us to help take care of Pop Pop, which was a whole family affair. Our two children (ages 5 and 2) helped get Pop Pop up in the morning and put him to bed at night, raising his bed and moving his wheelchair into place. They brought him water, his hat, clean napkins and tissues, and anything else they could think of that Pop Pop could possibly need. They helped lift his feet onto his wheelchair footrests when he couldn't lift them himself and assisted with pushing the chair wherever we went. Most importantly, these two enthusiastic caregivers provided endless entertainment for Pop Pop every single day. Singing, dancing, telling stories about their day at Wee Woozles (camp), helping build fires in the fireplace (Pop Pop loved a good fire), and generally being happy preschoolers.

Needless to say, losing Pop Pop was very, very hard for them. Our 5 1/2 year-old understood the permanence of death, so he was absolutely devastated. Our 2 1/2 year-old does not understand, of course, and so keeps asking when Pop Pop will come back from Heaven. A friend asked if my husband has been able to process his father's death at all, and the answer is, "Yes and no." We have to process it over and over again with the kids, answering each heartfelt question as simply and faithfully as we can. We are reading lots of books about death written for preschoolers, which was really hard at the beginning of the week, but gets easier as time passes.

Our son will say, out of the blue, "Mommy, I don't ever want you, or Daddy, or (Sister), or me to ever, ever die." How can I argue with that? Life is beautiful and sometimes I feel the same way about death. I just take his comments thoughtfully and talk with him about all the good, fun things we do and how much we enjoy God's amazing creation all around us.

It's been a hard week. This is a big change. Their little world was rocked off its axis when their Pop Pop died. Sticking to their familiar schedule and spending lots of time together is helping to stabilize them, and hopefully, by the end of the summer, their hearts will have healed enough to then go home and handle the death of our beloved golden retriever, Toby, who has lymphoma.

This summer is teaching us about loss, but also about love and the strength of family ties. I thank God for great friends and family, and for our wonderful spiritual leaders who are supporting us each step of the way. One called from Wales when he heard of our loss. Another is retired, but took the time to call my mother-in-law and extend his sympathies. Our chaplain here at Silver Bay has visited, helped make arrangements, and made a trip to a library to find us books about death to share with the children. Friends have sent cards, emails, and even hams. We certainly don't lack for support and love!

Teaching Our Children Where to Walk, Not Just How to Walk.

A few weeks ago my pastor gave a sermon on parenting. This post is based on that sermon.

There was a statistic that said that with our generation, those who are parenting are more likely to "wing-it" when raising their children and not teach biblical values. This shocked me! Really? It seems like I have a good community of friends who are committed to teaching biblical values in our homes. It was shocking to hear that it is not the norm. I am lucky to have a good church community (let's not forget our Motley Moms community!).

He also told a a story of a boy in the foster care system who had got hit by a car and could not afford to get the medical procedure to heal his legs. His Social Worker did everything she could and was able to get the boy the surgeries that he needed to walk again. She felt so good about it. She had given this boy a new chance on life. She told the story later to fellow social workers and had them guess where this boy ended up. A few people had guesses: a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher... She said he was in prison for the worst crime you could be put in jail for. She said she had taught him HOW to walk but not WHERE to walk.

This story really stuck me because the week that I heard it was the same week my little king had leaned to walk. And I was so excited about him walking everywhere!

It is important to teach our children HOW to walk. Teaching them how to dress, how to do well in school, how to get a good job, etc. are all important things for our sons and daughters to learn, but we cannot leave it at that! We must also show our children WHERE to walk. Teaching them our biblical values and to love the Lord with all their heart.

From Deuteronomy 6 we see that there are 3 ways to teach our children WHERE to walk. These 3 ways are: Imitation,Instruction, and Repetition.

Imitation:
Our kids all copy us. Sometimes it is so cute to see them want to help with chores around the house, or to follow along with us, but other times it is scary to see our worst traits repeated!
Deuteronomy 6: 7-9
7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Effective imitation requires parents to love the Lord with all our hearts. In the verses above, it says to bind them to our hands (let God direct our actions) to our heads (let God direct our thoughts) and to our post of our house (let God direct the interaction of our homes).

Instruction:
Instruction is not just for Sunday School teachers or pastors. It is our job as parents as well! Moms and dads are the most powerful teachers of God's story and love! We are to look for and prepare for teachable moments with our children. In order to be best prepared, it is important for us as parents to be instructed from God's word, and also from other leaders.

Repetition:
Repetition is a great learning tool. As a teacher, I know that the more times and situations that kids had to practice a skill, the better they would be at it! The same it is true for our biblical values and beliefs! We are told to follow the commands while we are sitting, walking, laying down and getting up... that is a lot! Having our children see us practicing our beliefs in good times and bad will help them do it in the future! Some ways to repeat our values are to pray together before food and bed, read bible stories together, memorize scripture as a family, and listen to Christian music.

This post is more of a reminder for me than it is to tell everyone else what to do. Since it is Sunday, I thought it would be OK if I got a little "preachy".

How are you teaching your children where to walk?

Good Morning!

Well, first of all, you might notice that this post is a little too late for the morning. Our computer is tucked safely away in a storage unit, so I have to use my mom's dinosaur-like computer (Is this a Commodore 64?) to check my email and post on my blogs. I recently read Amy Grant's book, Mosaic. I have always loved her music, and I really enjoyed reading about her life. In her book, she says she greets each day by going outside no matter what the temperature, and says, "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." She said that sometimes it takes a few repetitions for her to actually be ready to start the day. She then says the Lord's prayer. I am thinking of copying this idea. Currently, I start each day by praying that I can be nice to my family, and most days I pray for energy to get out of bed. For some reason, having a child has really cut into my sleep. I am sure some of you might know what I am talking about. So, what do you do to start your day?

Weekend to Remember

This past weekend, my husband and I attended the Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage conference in Orlando.

It was the best thing we have done as a couple!

This October will mark 18 years of marriage and 20 years of togetherness. Whew! I can't believe it! First of all, I never imagined myself being this old and secondly, I can't believe we've been married this long.

You see, when I went into marriage my thought was that if it didn't work out, then I'd just get a divorce. No big deal. Like returning a sweater that just doesn't fit quite right and doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would.

Looking back, I can see how far I've come. Now, my lifetime goal is to not only remain married, but to really find joy every step of the way. I want to leave a legacy to my girls of what a beautiful marriage looks like. Most everything I do revolves around this life goal that I have.

This is a list of top 3 things that have helped me remain married:

1) Believing that Christ is real and understanding what salvation, grace and forgiveness really are. Having a husband that also believes and understands these things.
2) Books, radio, movies, MOPS, Church, Christian organizations, and other people that support marriage.
3) Great friends and family that will discuss things from their hearts.

Do you have a support system in place to help you with your marriage? I highly recommend that you do because it will help you on those inevitable days that life being married just seems too hard and possibly not worth the effort.

I want to encourage each of you to do all that you can to safeguard your marriage NOW. Hard times will come and the decisions you make today will determine the decisions you make in the future.

Here's a link to Family Life. If you are married and want to do something awesome for yourself and spouse, go to one of their upcoming conferences. You'll be so happy that you did!

http://familylife.com

Something to think about...

I am always on the look-out for people that are not afraid to talk about their faith.

My friend showed me this and I thought it was really good. It shows Kathy Ireland (model)talking about some important stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMjeddIJCqU

The Power of the Praying Mama

Prayer has aways been one of my favorite things to learn about in the Christian faith. It is so cool how we have a direct line to God all the time. There are so many different ways to pray and reasons to pray. Prayer is always something that I cling to when the goin' gets tough.

While we were going through all the infertility and adoption things we felt that there was so much out of our control. We decided as a couple to pray together every night about how to grow our family. Every night we were able to lay our burden over to our loving father. Some nights we prayed in confidence knowing that God was working for our good, and other night we questioned what was going on. But we always knew that God was listening and that brought me comfort.

As a Mom now, there as still so many things out of my control. Prayer is my shelter now, too. We still pray every night together to be good parents and still about growing our family. We are closer to each other as a couple too. Many times when something in our life or the life of a loved one gets shaky we will say "lets add it to the nightly prayer list". I know my husband prayed for me before we started this nightly ritual, but to hear his prayers for me out loud is very powerful and comforting.

My mom used to pray for us kids all the time and one thing she prayed for is that when we were doing wrong that we would get caught. My mom knew that she would not always be able to influence our decisions and also know that our unwise behavior would not change unless we got caught and there were consequences for our actions. She must have high standing with the Lord because we never got away with anything! She ALWAYS found out what we were up to. And we are better people because of it! It is something that I am going to add to my nightly prayer list!

My prayer for all of us motley moms is that we are always praying for our children!

My Kryptonite

Everyone has something about themselves that brings them down. Like Kryptonite it takes our strength and self esteem away and leaves us weak and vulnerable. Maybe it is something about our appearance, our abilities or intelligence that is a thorn in our sides. For me, it is a learning disability in spelling and a mild form of dyslexia (Which is really hard to spell by the way!)

I am not stupid, but sometimes when I have to write things out or take notes, I feel that I look like I am. All of the short vowels sound the same to me (they all sound like “ah”) so “sounding it out” is really hard, plus the English language does not always follow its own rules, making it even more difficult. Add on top of that the letters changing places in my head, and it all makes for a hard time. Needless to say, I LOVE spell check! It is helpful most of the time, except when I misspell a word to make another word. I often write defiantly instead of definitely because the spell check “auto corrects” it for me. But those words mean VERY different things. (“I am defiantly going to be there” is a little silly sounding!) Another mistake I often make is impatient instead of important (which can pretty much mean the opposite of each other). To help with this, I often have my wonderful hubby spell check for me. He reads most of my posts before they are posted to the world. Another way I cope is to use cheers or songs to help me remember how to spell words (be aggressive, got to be aggressive, got to B-E- A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!)

Another bother is the word verification on the blogger comments. Letters switch places in my head when the letters are straight, it happens much more when they are curved. There are times when I have to do the word verification 5 or more times because I can’t get it right. It is more annoying than anything. (note: I understand the usefulness of it, so I am not trying to get you to take it off.)

There are times when I am depressed about it. Satan gets in my head and tells me how stupid I am, and that I am not worth other people listening to what I have to say. But, I have to listen to the Holy Spirit who reminds me that I have a Masters in Math Education. (Of course, I gravitated to numbers since letters were so difficult) I am NOT stupid! I am a child of God! I love the Casting Crowns song,Voice of Truth.

Even Paul struggled with a limitation:
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 7-10

God has used my disability. As a teacher I had an understanding and compassion for students when they struggled with a math concept. I struggled with spelling, so I could relate. It also gave me a passion for the Special Education students in my classes. These kids were not stupid, they can do many things. I would tell my classes of my dyslexia to show that even with disabilities you can be successful! I can also be an example for my son, to not give up just because something is difficult.

Our God is so great. He uses our weakness, and makes us stronger people. Be encouraged today!

It was a dark and stormy Twilight

An Ode to Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga and Casting Crow's song, "Praise You in this Storm"

It’s been a bad week.
I’m not gonna lie
as I flop on the couch
and let out a sigh.

We got some bad news
about my dear sister’s health,
and the retreating economy’s
robbing my wealth.

But instead of despair,
a song fills my head,
“I will praise you in this storm…
for you are who you are, no matter where I am.”

God was with us this week.
He was planning ahead
to bring our family together
and keep Alex well fed.

For the news was so shocking,
I couldn’t even cook.
My only escape
was this trendy new book.

Edward, Bella and Jacob
are now part of my life.
I spend so much time reading,
my husband misses his wife.

Before I start reading
about Jacob and Bella,
I pause to praise God
for Kyann and my niece Arabella.

My house is now quiet
as I run down the list
of blessings from God –
precious, wonderful gifts.

The usual come first,
my husband, my son,
a new baby for Carrie,
the warm Florida sun.

Eternal life is,
of course, on the list
as well as my family
and a soft spring mist.

Let’s not forget friends
who come to the rescue,
coupons to clip,
and spiky blue fescue.

As I say Amen
and reach for my book
I sigh once again
and refuse to look

at dust bunnies lurking
from under the couch
with blood-covered fangs;
I think they’ve eaten a mouse.

I fly through the pages
right back to the spot
where I last saw our heroine
in a frightening plot.

I like to pretend
that I’m as witty as Alice
that I fly through the trees
with a vampire prowess.

Pretending is good
for my sad aching soul
but back to my world
and my family I go.

With God’s loving help
and by escaping with Twilight,
I'll make it through this storm
and see tomorrow's sunlight.

Better than a Spa

"Even the youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

~ Isaiah 40:30-31

This is one of my favorite verses because I can't always get to sunny, spa-like Arizona for regular rest and renewal.

Lessons I have learned about God, Part 2

Happy Resurrection Day! He is risen! He is risen indeed!

On this first Easter as a mom I am going to reflect on God’s perfect plan for our lives. Just like God’s good and perfect plan to save us humans from our sin, by sending His son to die for us, and to conquer sin and death by rising on the 3rd day, God has a good and perfect plan for each one of us!

God also had a plan for 3 people becoming a family. We went through some infertility treatments, but they left use feeling depressed and with little hope. We prayed together every night that God would allow us to grow our family. We decided to look into adoption and found that the more we stepped down that path, the better we felt and we also felt like we had hope! The process was hard, but we don’t feel bitter about going through it. It made us take a look at ourselves and think about what kind of parents we wanted to be. It brought us together as a couple and made us put our trust in God. We had to daily trust that God would match us with a child and trust in God’s timing of it all. Looking back there are some pretty awesome signs of God’s plan. Here are some examples of how perfect God’s timing and plans are:

God’s timing:

It is no secrete that adoption is NOT cheap. Every time we needed to pay a bill for the next step, God provided the amount that we needed. Often times at the last minute, as if to say “See, I told you I’d come through!”

We received our referral the week my whole family was together. One of my brothers lives in Czech Republic and only comes to visit once a year. My sister, Karly, as many of you know, lives out of state and cannot come to visit as often either. Needless to say, it is rare that we are all together. But the week that Karly and my brother were in town we were able to announce that we were matched with a child and show off pictures. It was really great to be able to surprise every one with news at a family dinner.

God’s plans for us:

I know that God matches children with the parents that they need either through adoption or biologically. Your child was chosen for you by God. He knows what your child needs and knows what you can provide for them. That being said, I still find it amazing what a perfect fit our little king has been for us. God chose us to be his parents! My son hates to sleep alone - I hate to sleep alone. My son has the same sense of humor as my husband (they crack each other up all the time!). My son is pretty stubborn, so it is a good thing that my husband and I are MORE stubborn! There are several others similarities that prove each day that we were meant to be together!

I wish you a blessed Easter. My hope for you is that you are able to rejoice in the plans that God has set forth for you!

Simple Pleasures

Sorry for the extremely late post, but it's been an extremely long and tiring day! I had the pleasure of spending my day with lots of children, ages preschool through elementary age, talking about the things we celebrate and that make us joyful.

Then we wrote some of these things on palm leaves (strips of green paper) and glued them to our palm branches (wide craft sticks), symbolic of the palm branches people waved in honor and celebration of Jesus on his way into the city. Some of the children's celebrations were:

• Jesus
• birthdays
• Easter
• my mommy
• my daddy
• my family
• friends
• Christmas
• communion (cumyoonyun, I believe, was the orig. spelling)
• good behavior
• God
• The Holy Spirit

There it is, simple as can be. All from the mouths of babes!

Happy Easter!