...because we all have our motley moments!

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Love Budget- Part 4 - Touch

Physical touch is not about being sexual... it is about hugs, pats on the back and holding hands. My son is all about the physical touch. He is not comfortable in a new place unless he is touching me some how. When he is sick, hurt or sad, he wants to be held. When we are playing he wants to be sitting on my lap or close enough to touch me.

But everyone needs human contact. Every one needs a hug, a pat on the back, or kiss on the cheek. So, how do we "budget" our touches? It about having a goal that is measurable and attainable.

Assess your family's "touchy-ness" . Do you have family members who need a little more cuddles from you to get through the day. In my family my son is the most touchy, I am a very close second, and my hubby is third. So now you know where you need to focus your attention. But, just because some one does not like to be snuggled does not mean they need to be left off the list!

Now make a goal for yourself on how many times you want to hug, kiss, snuggle, pat on the back, hold hands... etc with your family members.

Here is mine: I am going to hug and kiss my hubby at least 3 times a day (When he leaves for work, when he comes home, and when we go to bed). I am going to give my hubby a back rub at least once a week (He may not be cuddly but he loves back rubs!). I am going to cuddle with my son at least 4 times a day (When he wakes up from bed, before and after each nap, and before bedtime) and hug, kiss, hold him when ever it is possible.

Most likely you are doing a lot of snuggling with your family already. It is about being deliberate about it. Enjoy the moment of it and being sure that they know that you love them!

Now we can't NOT talk about sex... I mean the whole time you have been wander if I was going to say something about it! (At least I know Karly was!!!)

Yes, sex is a very important part of marriage that can often get over looked with all the kid ciaos! Make time for Sex. This post from Karly is a great motivator! I am going to leave it up to you on how you want to "budget" you sex life! : )


Karly said...

I LOVE the photo! So sweet!

There is this little song that goes, "Four Hugs a day that's the minimum, Four Hugs a day, not the maximum." I think it is based on some research that shows people need four hugs a day. And I read somewhere else that a hug should last 6 seconds in order to truly get all the positive benefits of hugging. So four hugs for 6 seconds each times five people...that is a lot of hugging!!

And about the sex...one time a day for six seconds. Just kidding! Well, about the six second part that is. ;-)

Fawnda said...

I wish I could take credit for the photo... but I found it on google images.

I guess I need to find another time to hug (and kiss) my hubby! That wont be too hard! : )

Ahhhhh yes... For Karly, it is always business time! ; )

Lindsay said...

I am learning about the importance of hugging more and more as my kids get older. My 7 1/2 yr old has never really been a snuggler. She's extremly sweet but her love language is not physical touch. Even as an infant she would nurse and then want to be put down to sleep. But now as she's older she wants hugs less and less. I mean we still hug her several times a day, but sometimes we have to make her give us a hug. She's just not huggy. So I take every hug I can get from her. My other two thankfully are still very snuggly.

Donna said...

That's hard, Lindsay! As a mom, it's hard not to feel entitled to a hug from our babies, no matter how old they are!

As for Karly, I need to find out where she gets her business socks!