Thank You, From the Bottom of my Chart

I used to be so good about writing thank you notes for anything and everything. If someone did something thoughtful or invited me over for coffee or gave me a gift, a handwritten note (in calligraphy, no less) was soon to follow.

Fast forward to Christmas 2009...I was so grateful to have received only a small handful of gifts this year. I thought, "Oh, thank goodness, I only have to write four thank you notes!" Never  mind the lovely dinners, cookie parties, and playdates surrounding Christmas...I just can't keep up with that level of handwritten appreciation anymore!

But now I have not only my own thank you notes to write, but the kids' thank you's as well! I took them to the dollar store and let them each pick their own pack of thank you cards, just to give them some ownership over the whole process. We made a chart for each kid with the gifts they received and the name of the giver, to be crossed off as the note is written. Our 6-year-old is painstakingly handwriting his own notes, and with his birthday just three days after Christmas, we let him combine both celebrations into one thank you note. He still isn't finished.

Last year, I made him draw a picture of each gift inside blank cards. When he finally finished all his artwork, I am so ashamed to admit that I completely lost his cards, his list of gifts and givers, and the envelopes (which I had already addressed). Those never got sent.

While KID 1 can just barely write his own thank you's this year, KID 2 can NOT, thank you very much. It is apparently my job to thank everyone for her gifts. I've tried having her "decorate" the cards herself in the past, but it becomes tedious for her and she finds something else to do before she's reached the second card.

I've heard of parents taking a picture of the kids with their gifts, but that just seems like extra work for me. Finding the gifts, taking the photo while berating the child in question to "smile like you really like your present!" and then actually having the photos printed and included in each appropriate envelope...I am SO not doing that.

How do you show friends and family appreciation for your kids' gifts? Any ideas for making the process a little easier?

In Honor of October 7th...

...I've decided it's officially time to panic a little about how quickly October seems to fly by. We have a birthday to celebrate this month AND halloween details to attend to. I'm not sure why I always wait til the last minute to put halloween costumes together, but I'd really rather not stress myself out this year. I love to make the kids' costumes, or at least assemble them from things I've found to create a character they are familiar with. I try not to sew the entire thing...that's way too time and energy consuming!

Isn't this picture hilarious? I told them to look sad because they are lost and hungry...pretty good, huh? I have much better pics of them in costume, but this one was too funny!

Last year, they were Hansel and Gretel. I ordered real leather liederhosen (used) from eBay for KID 1 (that's how I bribed him to be Hansel). All he needed were suspenders and knee socks to finish the look of a little German ragamuffin. KID 2 wore a handmade gown I found at a consignment sale for a few dollars. All I had to make for her costume was an apron and a kerchief for her head. The apron was actually a ruffled pillow sham that I cut in half and sewed onto a long  fabric band (to tie it in back). I sew a mean straight line. Anything more complicated than that requires supervision.

Anyway, I'm thinking Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf will be making an appearance this year. Daddy can be the Woodcutter and Mommy can be the Grandmother. I will definitely be hitting the thrift shop for my granny dress and any extras we may need to finish the look, but we've got everything here except for the red hooded cape. If you've got one I can use, let me know. Otherwise, I'm going to have to get sewing...yikes! Pretty sure I can stick to straight lines for this one...right?

And the birthday...how badly does a three year old need a birthday party? I mean, seriously! Maybe I'm a horrible mother for saying so, but I really don't think they need big parties with friends every single year. Are you tying the noose right now?

What halloween awesomeness do you have planned? I know Rachel's son will be beaming his Buzz Lightyear laser at his friends for halloween. Does anyone else dress up with their kids?

TOYS: To Play Or Not To Play...

My son has MANY toys... sometimes too many.

He has some REALLY REALLY nice toys. So nice that I don't want him to play with them because I don't want him to ruin them or lose pieces.

When he got these toys as gifts I was like:
"Oh, look at this great toy... wont that be so fun to play with?..... No- don't touch it!"

I know that it defeats the purpose of the toy to have it and NOT play with it... but I can't help it that I want to keep them nice. It is not like I NEVER want him to play with it... just not until he is old enough to respect the toy! (which will probably be too old to enjoy playing with it. )

I am not too worried about it right now since I can easily distract him with an empty 2 liter bottle. He can bang on that thing all day! Why is that kids like to play with containers (AKA garbage) more than other toys?


So, for now I will keep all his cute puzzles, and nicely crafted toys on the top shelf and leave the empty 2-liter bottles and boxes on the bottom shelf!

How do you handle toys in your house?

Another Bad Mom Story

You want to really know how bad of a mother I am? Well, I'll tell you. My son has been potty trained since early June. He would have the occasional pee accident, but nothing major. Then, 2 weeks ago, he started pooping in his pants again. Every day, sometimes multiple times. But, he only did it at home. We were at Target, way in the back of the store and he told me he needed to poop, so we walked all the way to the bathroom at the front of the store, took care of business, no problem. My husband and I discussed it to death and decided he was nervous about school starting. Makes sense, right? Well, school started and the pooping continued, but not at school, just at home. I read all I could find on the subject. Some kids have encopresis, which is the inability to feel when a poop is coming. Ethan does not have this, as evidenced by the trip to Target. Some kids are constipated and won't poop because it hurts coming out. Not my kid - you could set a train schedule to his bowel movements. He's not sick, he doesn't have diarrhea, school started just fine, my husband and I aren't getting a divorce or bringing home a new baby, so I don't get it. Well, I think I do get it. I think he's doing it on purpose. And this is where I have issues. The pop-psychology default is, "Don't punish for potty accidents." I agree. I remember wetting my bed as a child and being spanked for it and how helpless I felt. But my son is not helpless. To further prove this to you, let me tell you about this weekend. On Friday after he had his daily bowel movement in his underwear, I had had it. I mean, I seriously HAD HAD IT. I asked him why he pooped in his pants and he said, "Because I want to." So I told him, "If you keep pooping in your pants, you cannot go back to school." It's true, in a way. They are required to be potty trained to go into the 3-year-old class. I told my mother-in-law about this and Friday night after we all gathered at the beach for the weekend she took him aside and told him she was very sad about his choice and that she didn't want to have to call the preschool director, whom she is friends with, and tell her he couldn't go to school anymore.
I know this sounds terrible, but it worked. He didn't have any "on purposes" all weekend. He used the potty and we praised him for being a big boy and he went to school all week and stayed clean and dry and then about an hour ago, he pooped and peed in his pants again.
I am at the end of my rope. Again when I asked why he did it, he said, "Because I want to."
Do you see what I'm up against? Judge me if you will, but I'm convinced he's doing it on purpose. It's a power struggle. And I'm tired of throwing away underwear!

Jinxed!!

I am not a superstitious person. I don't care if I walk under a ladder, or break a mirror, or have my path crossed by a black cat. But it seems that I have some power to jinx myself.

My Little King does NOT like to sleep. Most of his naps last about 30 minutes (if I am lucky!). But if his nap does by some miracle last longer, all it takes to wake him up is for me to say some thing like "Wow, He is sleeping really good!" That is a guarantee that he will wake up within seconds.

If I want my son to stop eating and start throwing food on the floor, all I have to say is "You are being such a good eater today!"

If I want to break our week of being healthy I just say "Wow! We have not been sick for a while now!"

If I want to have my son starting put toys/food/anything from the floor into his mouth, I just say "Oh, it's OK. He doesn't pick up things and put them in his mouth!"

If I want to throw off our nap schedule that we finally gotten, I merely have to say "He usually naps around noon, so we can be there around 2 O' clock no problem!"

If I want him to wake up earlier in the morning. "He sleeps in until 9:00 so that is really nice for me!"

If I want him to freak out and cry in the professional photo of all the grand-kids: "He does great for pictures! he loves his cousins, this will be fine!"

Who knew I had such powers... now if I could find a way to use them for good and not evil, I'd really have something!

10 Reasons I'm a Motley Mom

1. Sometimes I pretend I can't hear my children. I have been known to hide in their room when they're playing elsewhere so I can read.
2. I let them watch TV. Lots of TV. Probably 2-3 hours a day. The big one watches 2 episodes of Dora (or, lately, Curious George) every day while he eats lunch, before he goes to take a nap. In my defense, it's all stuff I approve of and it's DVR'd so I fast-forward through the commercials.
3. I let the baby eat goldfish that dropped in the dirt at the playground. I did draw the line at the ant-covered ones.
4. Usually I (or my husband) end up cleaning up most of the toys at night. I feel bad making Ethan pick up stuff Micah has strewn all over the house and Micah is too little to understand cleaning up just yet.
5. I get them a cookie almost every time we go to Publix, even if our trip there is so short they are still eating the cookie when we leave the store.
6. I got my oldest to not be scared of pooping in the big toilet by encouraging him to laugh at the "plop" sound it made.
7. My oldest gets on food kicks where he eats the same thing for lunch for weeks on end. Right now we're on Dora soup. I don't try to get him to eat anything else. It's got carrots in it!
8. Yesterday when I found the baby sitting in the middle of the dining room table, AGAIN, I took a picture of him to post to Facebook before I got him down. I'm sure that will do wonders to discourage his climbing.
9. During Ethan's preschool singing program, a kid was pushing him and not playing, either. When he pushed the kid back in retaliation, I had to physically restrain myself from cheering him on. I want him to defend himself.
10. I let my oldest pee outside instead of coming in to go to the bathroom. Consequently, when we were on our preschool field trip to the farm and everyone was milling about waiting to go in, he dropped trou and started to pee on the ground right there in front of God and everybody. I moved him to another, more secluded patch of grass so at least he wouldn't splash anyone. Then I noticed the bathrooms about 50 yards away. Oops!
I'm a shoo-in for Mother of the Year!

P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N

It's always the same place. I'm sitting at a desk, looking around the room, trying to find a familiar face, but no one seems to know me. Realization hits--I'm in a classroom. It feels like a college classroom. Usually there is a periodic table on the wall or maybe a graph on the chalkboard. Gradually the details return to me. This is a class. A class that I am taking. Why don't I know anyone? Because I haven't been coming to class. I check my calendar. I've waited too long to withdraw without this going on my transcript. I don't even recognize the professor. Maybe I could talk to him...take the final and still pass the class...he could withdraw me himself...why did it have to be Chemistry again? How am I ever going to learn a semester's worth of material in time to pass the final that he's saying is tomorrow?

I'm worried about my transcript. How will it look to have this horrible grade sitting there? Will I get fired from teaching if I fail this class? What about my degree? Wait a second, my degree. That's right. I did get my degree. They wouldn't let me teach if I didn't have one. Wait a minute, I don't teach anymore. What's going on here?

Abruptly I wake myself from this nightmare and gasp with relief. Indeed, I did graduate from college. Years ago. I have had my career, and I'm staying at home now with our little boy. So, why did I have this dream? Why have I been having this dream at least once a week since I finished school?

This little scene has been popping into my subconscious rather frequently lately, and I decided to do some introspective psychoanalysis. I think that perhaps my mind is reminding me of something that I have known for years but have chosen to do little about: I am a procrastinator.

My procrastination hit it's peak during my college years when I realized that, indeed, if one consumes enough coffee one can function for a continuous 24 hour period. Therefore, why should anyone prepare in advance when a project can easily be done within hours of its due date? This actually worked for me, believe it or not, in my language and literature classes. I did very well although I was a bit tired most of the time. Science and math were not too forgiving, however, and I do believe that is why my dream always centers around those classrooms.

Why on earth am I talking about this on Motley Moms? Well, this dream continues to rear it's ugly head now because I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING. I still have unfinished projects that I'm putting off until later. I prepare for my toddler Sunday School class the night before. I run to the store late at night to get things I need for the next day even though I have had ample time to do it earlier in the week. I'm even typing this blog a lot later than I should be.

And I'm a mom whose son watches every move that I make.

If I'm not careful, those late night trips to a 24-hour Wal-mart for trash bags and diapers are going to become group project poster board expeditions. The word "now" won't mean anything to him if it doesn't mean anything to Mommy.

How do I break a bad habit that has taken me a lifetime to perfect? And how do I teach my son to use his time more wisely? Do you have any words of wisdom?

Have a blessed Sunday, and sweet dreams!

Things Fall Apart

I am just about always up for an adventure. I mean, isn't a trip to the Wal-Mart can be an adventure, right? Well, last week I convinced some other Motley Moms to go strawberry picking. And, it was a total bust. Apparently, because of the economy (I ended up calling the Florida Strawberry Growers Association) they are now waiting to open the fields up for u-pick until the very end of the growing season. They are trying to get most of the fruit to fresh market, explained the nice lady who answered. This, after we drove for about 1 1/2 hours with the kids strapped in car seats.


Aren't I an awesome friend? [Read:Sarcasm] Everyone was very gracious. They did not slap or yell at me, which I am sure I deserved. And we ended stopping at a big mall and letting the kids play on the playland area for a bit. But, it was not strawberry picking. And it was my fault. I suppose I should have "googled it" before we left. I last went strawberry picking 2 years ago in February...last year I was too pregnant and tired to even try.


On the way home, we all split up. The kids were all at different stages of tired and my own both napped for a bit (very abnormal for us). We did end up stopping at some second-hand and used furniture stored for a bit of searching. My kids are just used to my antics, I think. Mostly because I call just about everything (especially things they may not think are fun...like going to the Wal-Mart) an adventure. And, these days are some of my favorites. Nothing specific planned and we just get in the car and go.


We stopped at a little park for about 20 minutes and then stopped at a museum in Bartow. We looked at old pictures and decided we could have been pioneers. [Personally, I think we need a goat and some chickens, but I don't think that would go over well with my hubby, or our neighbors, or our church next door, or anyone but me and the kids.] We poked through some more antique stores and found a few little treasures.

I really did have a fun time. My friends, I hope you did, too. It wasn't what I expected, but it was fun. Now I am starting to think about a trip to the beach. And I was just reading this weekend that Florida is home to 100+ of the largest trees on record in the country. I think we may have to try to visit each one. Whatever it is, another adventure awaits!!

What adventures have you been on lately? Planned or unplanned? Which is better?

Big Events

The past two weeks have been pretty exciting 'round here at the ol' Sebring domicile. Last week I decided that by God, Ethan was getting potty trained. I literally dragged him into the bathroom kicking and screaming several times. And I've read all the books and I know you're supposed to let them do it when they're ready and not punish them, blah blah blah, but my kid is stubborn. Obstinate to the core. So I had to punish him. I had to force the issue. I had to give him time-outs and pops on the hiney for not cooperating. When he did actually go pee in the potty, I made a huge deal. We did the dance of joy down the hallway. I gave him M&M's. I gave him stickers - one on each hand. I told everyone I've ever met. He is now going pretty regularly and even went in a PUBLIC RESTROOM at Animal Kingdom on Saturday. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It's such a freeing feeling. Now, if I could just get him to stop pooping in his Pull-Ups...

Micah also had a big week. He walked! He had taken a couple of little steps, but last week he started taking 5-6 steps at a time. It helped to have his Grandma's cane to lure him. For some reason he loves that cane. He would rather walk to it than to his own mother. 

This week is birthday week. No, I did not intend to have 2 children within the same week (2 years apart, of course), but my anniversary is the end of May. Do the math. Micah's birthday was Tuesday. The whole fam-damily and some close friends came over for supper and cupcakes. Yesterday some friends met us at the train park for a picnic and more cupcakes. Today I'm taking in a special snack (Lightning McQueen fruit snacks, apple juice, and cookies) for Ethan's preschool class, and tomorrow night we are having another dinner with the family and close friends because it's Ethan's birthday. I am going to attempt to make Ethan a Thomas the Train cake. I will probably post pictures of this "cake wreck" next week. I am not crafty AT ALL (a quick confession: sometimes when I go to MOPS and I see the table set up for crafts, I break into a cold sweat and want to run away), but I'm going to try my best for my lil guy. I can't believe I planned all this partying so close together. This is compounded by the fact that Todd and I spent Sunday puking our guts up and then Monday recovering. I'm still not totally well, evidenced by the fact that I have had not one single cupcake. 

I realize that I'm rambling. That's probably because I made the coffee this morning and I always make it a little too strong. I just wanted to share with you the big events that have happened in my kids' lives since I last wrote. I can't believe that as of tomorrow, I have a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. And that one of them is walking and one of them is going pee in the potty. Time sure does fly. Now, if any of you have any suggestions for getting them to poop in the potty...

The Hangover

Today was a great day for an adventure. No school, no work. We were free as birds and didn't have a care in the...

Not really! We made homemade Christmas cards this morning and made a HUGE mess in the dining room. But we got about 50 cards made and even the King of the Jungle was able to help! I try to have a fun "project" for us in the morning after breakfast when we don't have school. It helps to avoid venturing toward the TV where I have a tendency to barter my way into watching the Today Show for 30 minutes in exchange for a "movie." [In our house it's normally a Mr. Rodgers rerun.] It's a sucky deal for me, because THE Princess asks me every 2 minutes, I swear I am not making this up, if it's time for the movie yet. "Excuse me mommy, is it time for my movie yet? Is your show over?" So much for my 30 minutes.

So, I gave up on that a long time ago. Now I plan an activity. Smart, right? Generally it's an artsy thing that values process over product. That is mostly so that I can linger over a second cup of coffee and read my TIME magazine. But, not today! Today we crafted with purpose. My purpose was clear, we were going to make our own art that we could send to friends and family to kick off the holiday season!

THE Princess, too, had a purpose. And that was to put glitter glue on pretty much everything we own. Not exactly what I was envisioning, but I kind of just followed behind her smearing the drips onto more paper and miscellaneous artifacts so that she could do her 'thing.' Even, KOTJ got in on the action by drooling and swiping wet fingers all over our art. I think it adds to the whole effect.

My job, other than janitorial, was to frame each masterpiece when it was deemed complete. I had precut the frames to fit, that made it pretty easy. Then I trimmed anything hanging over the edges so that I could lay them flat to dry and finally press them in my huge dictionary so they would lay flat in an envelope.

We worked diligently. THE Princess glitter gluing, KOTJ drooling, and me trimming. I got to have a nice little pile of the stuff that was hanging over. Like a sandwich bag sized amount. Some but not a ton. So, I did what everyone would do in this case. When we finished our art, we picked up everything, swept the floor, wiped the table, put our supplies away, and I bagged up the hangover and smashed it all into a zip lock sandwich bag. I probably should have used two bags, but why waste the bag, right? Smash it up! Then, because I was now trying to get the kids ready for a new and exciting adventure, I sat it on the table and forgot about it.

Until we got home from the aforementioned adventure. As we entered the house I realized that Sammy the One Eyed dog had discovered the hangover and was doing some Christmas decorating of his own. In the midst of my sweeping up the mess with KOTJ in the sling, THE Princess started chasing Sammy and attempting (unsuccessfully) to get him to pull a card, sit in time out, and think about his bad choices. I just stifled my laughter. Until Sammy started to hide and howl from under the couch. KOTJ started to cry, and THE Princess started to yell over the commotion to us that we were all making bad choices! This rather funny situation was now not as funny as before. I had hangover stuck all over my very awesome and expensive, but not very cute, shoes. Not cool.

My phone rang. RM called to see how our first day of vacation was going. My response, I thought, was very logical.

"You see, it started with this stupid hangover this morning." By this time, I had stepped out onto the back porch, so RM and I could hear each other. "I just couldn't get rid of it."

RM, the darling that he is, says, "Honey, I know the kids sometimes drive you crazy, but I didn't realize it was this much of a problem. You know hiding it could be a serious problem."

"Yes, but the problem today is that I didn't hide it. I left it out on the table and the dog got into it. It was all over the floor. THE Princess was trying to discipline the dog and KOTJ started crying. Then, KOTJ was crying and I got it on my shoes. Things are better if I hide it. Much better. Now it's on the floor, on the kids, it's pretty much everywhere!"

"How much is there?"

"I would guess 5 or 6 cups if I had to measure. But, don't worry, I'll get it cleaned up and everybody calmed down."

"Why don't you throw it away?"

"I can't WASTE it! That is so, like, wrong. I can use it, probably even tomorrow. I'll need it and be mad that I got rid of it! Sometimes I don't think you know me at all. I have this handled, don't worry. Will you be home at your regular time?"

"No, I'm gonna leave early and come home and help you. Do you want me to call your mom to come over and help you until I get home?"

"Why would you do that? No. I don't need help. I'll have everything under control in a few minutes. See you tonight I have to get back in there. Love you!"

My mom called me about 10 minutes later that she got a frantic call from RM. He thought I was drinking and the kids were getting into it. He wasn't sure what would make me upset enough to drink. Could she please come and check on me?

I told her about what had happened with the hangover. She started laughing. Then I started laughing. Then I called RM and told him what happened. I was still laughing. Laughing so much I was crying. Laughing so much I was even snorting (but don't tell anyone, okay?) He didn't think it was quite as hilarious. He thought I was playing a joke on him. I kept telling him I wasn't. It was an honest mistake. He grumbled that it was okay and said he would be home at his usual time.

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Seriously. And, just for added measure, I had an empty bottle of sparkling grape juice that I left on the table for him. Just to be funny.

Guess what? Now I am in time out with a red card. IT. WAS. TOTALLY. WORTH. IT.

Postscript: If you get one of our beautiful handmade cards, please enjoy it fully. And, when RM gets over being annoyed with me, it will be a great story to tell. Probably next year. Or the next one.

Ethanisms

Today my son locked me out of the house. They were both in the kitchen and I went outside just for a minute to get the recycling buckets. I said, "Ethan, do not play with the door. Mommy will be right back." Then he locked it. Go ahead, laugh. I could see Micah through the window, cracking up in the high chair. I would've laughed, too, if I would've seen myself banging on the door, yelling, "ETHAN JAMES YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" I'll admit it- I lost it when he finally did open the door. I gave him a spanking and a time-out. Ethan has been right squirrelly this week. After a month of being sick, he's had a course of antibiotics and is feeling much better. The following are a few of the funny things he's said recently. I call them "Ethanisms" and I'm making a list.

While taking a bath: "Mommy, sit potty. Mommy, you sit on big white oval."
Daddy asks, "Ethan, do you want to wear your Wall-E shoes or your Lightning McQueen shoes?" Ethan's response, "I no wear shoes. I wear Ethan feet!"
"Daddy run naked!" No explanation needed.
From the den, to me on the other side of the house, "MOMMY I WATCH ROBIN HOOD DADDY TURN ON ROBIN HOOD FOR ME DADDY GOOD MAN YOU NOT MAN YOU LADY!" All one sentence.
"Kota [our pet cat] can't dance. Kota a kitty. Kitties don't dance."
On the phone to my friend Erica, "I watching Thomas. I probably see a silly engine."
"It dark in my shirt!"
"I want another big cookie!"
And the kicker:
"Ethan, did you toot?" my friend Lori asks. "No! I don't toot. My mommy toots."
Thanks, Buddy.

The Family Bed at our House

We have a family bed. Really. Seriously.

Because of my single mom status after THE Princess was born, it was much easier for me to have her near me to maximize our rest times. It was very natural and she and I had plenty of room, sharing a queen-size bed. After meeting RM, he understood that sharing a bed with THE Princess was something that we would need to do. I did try to put her in her crib a few times and it didn't go well. I would try to be tough but lay awake listening to her whimper. RM really couldn't take it and would go after her. Snugging her in between us, we all usually slept well.

When the King of the Jungle was on the way. We upgraded to a King size bed. Wow, what a lot more space!! No more toddler feet in the back or head!

When KOTJ came home, I didn't even attempt to put him into the crib. I immediately took him to bed with us. I never even looked back. Now, we all snug in together. I am able to nurse him at night with minimal disruptions to our rest. In fact, he normally doesn't even open his eyes, he just rustles in his sleep next to me and I know to nurse him. Early in the morning when the kids wake, THE Princess loves to move over to KOTJ and "snug him up," as she says.

Do I worry about SIDS? Not even a little. I sleep with my hand on his chest. It's a very light sleep. My mom calls it the "Mother's Ear." I don't worry about getting grief from the pediatrician, either. I am not too ashamed to admit that I don't tell him. He has to advise what the American Academy of Pediatrics says. It's a CYA thing. Plus, there is plenty of research that sides with me, too. But, really it goes back to the best advice. The advice my mom gave me.

"Remember that no one knows your family like you do. No one knows your children like you do. Do what you know is right for you and your family, even if it doesn’t agree with the ‘experts’ and even if it doesn’t agree with me.”

The family bed works for us. We lay, snugged together, in the gloaming, and talk and sing and love. I wouldn't change it.

I guess when more little darlings grace our lives...we're gonna need a bigger bed!

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

I really meant well.

We went to the Science Center last weekend, and I took a moment to steal away to the gift shop while my husband and toddler were busy turning a crank. I found a bag of plastic insects, and I couldn't believe how detailed they were. There were various beetles, a beautiful Monarch butterfly, and a very cool Praying Mantis, as well as some other neat night crawlers. My soon-to-be two year old just loves his plastic animals at home, including a cute little ant that he "won" on a trip to Chuckie Cheese with his grandparents, so I thought that he would just love these, too. I bought the bag of bugs and stashed them in my tote until it was time to go home.

Our little guy isn't always excited about leaving places, especially fun ones, so I persuaded him to go to the car with promises of bugs. He was so excited, thinking about his little ant at home, and he chanted "bug, bug, bug" all the way to the car.

We arrived in the parking garage, but he was reluctant to sit in his car seat. I told him about the bugs again, and he sat like a little angel while his daddy buckled him in. I reached into my tote, ripped open the bag of creepy crawlies, and with as much animation as I could I thrust the first bug I found toward him and echoed his chant: "BUG, BUG, BUG!"

My poor toddler's eyes welled with tears and he whimpered, "NOOOOOO! SCARED! SCARED! SCARED!"

"Bug," Toddler View

"Whoops!" I thought, "That one is a little big. I'll show him the beautiful butterfly. He'll love that one!"

"Butterfly," Toddler View

This, of course, produced the same results.

I terrorized him with a few more creatures that looked like characters in a SciFi Saturday night movie before I realized what I was doing. He finally stopped crying, and I learned a valuable lesson that day--the world looks quite different to my little guy's ever-exploring eyes, and I, sometimes unfortunately, have much to do with what he sees.

Epilogue: Since the dreadful bugs in the car episode, my toddler has made peace with the new tenants of his toy box. He is still very careful around them, but he does allow them out to play from time to time, especially if his loving but sometimes misguided parents are nearby.

You can never be TOO safe. Ummm, okay.

We went on our last official adventure of the summer last weekend. We went out to River Ranch to meet up with the in-laws and cousins for lunch. I thought it was better than great but that was mostly because I didn't have to clean the house before anyone came over. (Keepin' it realz. You know you do it, too.) They have a petting zoo/barn, pony rides, trail rides, skeet shooting range, airboat and swamp buggy rides, miniature golf, an airport, regular golf course, fishing, camping, hay rides, rodeo on Saturday nights, and a nice little restaurant. There is plenty to keep the entire family busy.

I, being raised on a farm, thought it lacked somewhat. It is billed as an "authentic Dude Ranch." When your means of money making is tourism, it's a bit hard to think of it as any kind of ranch. I suppose it was awesome for city slickers. Those of us raised in the country look at these super well-trained animals as boring. I mean, where is the excitement in riding a horse that doesn't really gallop full out but practices a gated canter? That stops every time. That follows the others. It takes no skill is what I'm trying to say.

It was common to see my sister and I playing around our farm. We used to ride our sow pigs like bucking broncos. (They can really buck, too.) Or practice running up behind our horse and jump on from behind to mount like they do in the movies (that is so hard with a tall horse). I bounced off their hindquarters and landed in a heap many times. We loved to play hide and seek on our horses, sneaking up behind one another and spooking them so they would jump. Taking your horse swimming in lakes and hanging to their mane as they swim. Or setting up obstacle courses to grab flags and jump objects to see who could do it the fastest. Rigging up our saddles like trick saddles so we could stand on them while our horses were moving. You know, just having fun.

Out at River Ranch, you had to be 8 years old to go on the trail ride. What the??? I lead trail rides for novices by the time I was 8. I digress, this is a place for city slickers. I realize.

So, THE Princess is riding the ponies. I am taking her picture and telling her NOT to hold on with her hands. (Real riders don't hold on to the saddle horn, that's where your rope goes.) I am telling her to wave. And smile. Then I tell her to pet her horse while she rides. Then turn around and give his rump a pat.



She did all of it, without an ounce of fear. (She really didn't need to be fearful, these ponies seemed to have undergone lobotomies recently and they weren't going to do much.)

I look over and the other 3 sets of parents are stricken. One mom yells, "No! Don't do that! You could be killed!" Seriously. I looked at her in wonderment. "Killed" was taking it a bit far. I didn't say anything, but I am sure I rolled my eyes. I couldn't hold it in. I know, I am totally immature. As the kids were getting off their mounts, the other parents were discussing my lack of concern for the safety of my child.

So, once again I am a bad parent. As you can see from the pictures, THE Princess was totally scarred from the entire event. How will she ever make it to adulthood in one piece?



My point is, do we keep our kids too safe? I choose to let my kids take some risks. To adventure. To enjoy. Guess what? Sometimes they get hurt. But, more often than not, they have fun and learn something. Especially if they get hurt. (As the saying goes, "Even an ass doesn't bump his head in the same place twice." Unfortunately, I do. What does that make me?) I am the mom that secretly hopes that our little one-eyed-dog will nip THE Princess when she picks him up by the tail. Apparently, me telling her not to do it is not hitting home with her. Poor dog.

My husband and I find that this is our biggest disagreement in raising our children. I say let them try something even if they may get hurt. He disagrees, not wanting them to get hurt. Ever. Sometimes you scrape your knee, and I am okay with that. He says no, if they could possibly get hurt, don't let them do it.

I do shelter my kids in many ways. We don't watch TV, too much gratuitous violence and cursing. I am vigilant about them being around outside influences. Certain toys (Bratz dolls) and clothes (anything with writing across the hind end, to start with) are just not acceptable. No matter what.

So what do you think? Am I a bad parent or what? Where is the line drawn? Just wondering.

Dumping the Working Mommy Guilt

I work. Not only at being a wife and mother. I work outside the home. I am a school teacher in my working life. Ever since the birth of my daughter three years ago, I have been consumed with guilt because of this. I don’t stay home with her. I go to work and she goes to childcare. We have a recent addition to our family, the King of the Jungle, and he will go to childcare next week with THE Princess, as school resumes for teachers.

I have heard or have been told all of following regarding working:


“Working moms aren’t willing to put their children first.”

“You must want too many worldly possessions.”

“You aren’t willing to sacrifice for the good of your children.”

“You are leaving your child to be raised by strangers.”

“Single moms have to work, but married mothers should be willing to stay home.”

“You can’t have great kids if you work, since you aren’t with them all the time.”

“How can you possibly do everything well? You are to busy for that.”

“Good mothers stay home with their children.”

“Oh, you won’t be able to do [insert activity] with us, you work.”

“What kind of children do you expect to raise?”

“Your child is so well behaved, you must stay at home.”


I could go on. Seriously.

Most of the time, I try to disregard the comments. I smile and don’t answer the questions. I change the subject. I suddenly remember that I have a phone call to make or an errand to run. I sometimes think of a very sarcastic response, but don’t have the nerve to say it or it’s later that evening and the opportunity has passed.

I work for many reasons. I work because as a family, we have goals, financial and otherwise. There are some circumstances beyond our control. And, it feels good to do something OTHER than mommying sometimes. I like being good at what I do. However, I know and my kids know that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I would rather be with them. They are my most important things.

I have had to give up things, too. I can’t do everything I want to do. I can’t do everything as perfectly as I would like. I can’t be part of everything I am interested in. All I can do it try. Give it my best shot. I decided that was okay about a year ago and dumped the mommy guilt. I love my kids and they know it.

And guess what? I would stack my kids up against any kids out there. They are as smart, as fun, as good natured, as polite, and as creative as many others with moms who stay home and moms that don’t. I have plenty of other things to feel guilty about, like, most recently, how often I slathered THE Princess in baby lotion or not sanitizing the paci after it hits the floor. Bring it on.