...because we all have our motley moments!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

10 Reasons I'm a Motley Mom

1. Sometimes I pretend I can't hear my children. I have been known to hide in their room when they're playing elsewhere so I can read.
2. I let them watch TV. Lots of TV. Probably 2-3 hours a day. The big one watches 2 episodes of Dora (or, lately, Curious George) every day while he eats lunch, before he goes to take a nap. In my defense, it's all stuff I approve of and it's DVR'd so I fast-forward through the commercials.
3. I let the baby eat goldfish that dropped in the dirt at the playground. I did draw the line at the ant-covered ones.
4. Usually I (or my husband) end up cleaning up most of the toys at night. I feel bad making Ethan pick up stuff Micah has strewn all over the house and Micah is too little to understand cleaning up just yet.
5. I get them a cookie almost every time we go to Publix, even if our trip there is so short they are still eating the cookie when we leave the store.
6. I got my oldest to not be scared of pooping in the big toilet by encouraging him to laugh at the "plop" sound it made.
7. My oldest gets on food kicks where he eats the same thing for lunch for weeks on end. Right now we're on Dora soup. I don't try to get him to eat anything else. It's got carrots in it!
8. Yesterday when I found the baby sitting in the middle of the dining room table, AGAIN, I took a picture of him to post to Facebook before I got him down. I'm sure that will do wonders to discourage his climbing.
9. During Ethan's preschool singing program, a kid was pushing him and not playing, either. When he pushed the kid back in retaliation, I had to physically restrain myself from cheering him on. I want him to defend himself.
10. I let my oldest pee outside instead of coming in to go to the bathroom. Consequently, when we were on our preschool field trip to the farm and everyone was milling about waiting to go in, he dropped trou and started to pee on the ground right there in front of God and everybody. I moved him to another, more secluded patch of grass so at least he wouldn't splash anyone. Then I noticed the bathrooms about 50 yards away. Oops!
I'm a shoo-in for Mother of the Year!


Donna said...

I let my 2 yr. old dress herself to foster her sense of independence and to foster my sense of laziness. It wasn't until we actually made it to the park yesterday that I realized she got the button/zip shorts on backwards and wasn't wearing panties...or a diaper. But she stayed dry!!! Miracle of miracles!

Donna said...

Also, I have read one Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants novel PER DAY this week. I figure I'm modeling (good?) reading habits, right?

Liz said...

That's right - you are modeling good reading habits! And it's good that your little one is dressing herself. So what if she likes to go commando? ;)

Rachel said...

Sorry to break it to you, but Micah did grab and eat an ant-covered cracker yesterday before I could stop him. Sorry about that. In some cultures they're considered a delicacy, though.

I'm currently threatening my toddler with continuous diaper rash unless he uses the potty. I also tell him that he has bugs in his mouth ("cavity bugs) and that he has to brush his teeth in order to get them out. Yeah, we're pretty big on the psychological games around here!

I guess we're all a little motley in our own special ways!

Maria said...

I like to take my kids to bowling alleys where the people working there tell the kids that they will DIE if they run down the alley and get caught under the pins.
I did that this morning!

Liz, loved your post! So funny! The pee one is the best! Wish I could've been there. Karly would approve of this bodily function one.


Liz said...

LOL Maria!

fawnda said...

My son licked the patio door where our dog had slobbered all over... he is just building his immune system right?

Tara said...

This is awesome! lol Now I don't feel so bad. I let Cadin pee in the park once. His dad told me he is always asking if he can pee outside now. I just pretend like I have no idea what he's talking about. Hey....ya do what ya gotta do. lol Great post! Love it!!!

Lindsay said...

Here is my twist on your reasons.

1. My older two kids are outside right now in the screenroom playing with playdoh and I locked the door because I got tired of them running in and out. Now they have to knock first. :)

2. Sage watches a movie during "rest" time almost everyday.

3. My baby sits right next to your baby and eats those same sand covered goldfish.

4. I do actually make my kids clean up but they are older than your kids so that makes a differance.

5. My kids also get a cookie every time we are in Publix, or a "treat" (like a sucker) if we are at walmart and they were good.

6. I tried every bribe under the sun to get Avery to potty train

7. Sage picks her own lunch every day. She's usually a healthy eatter so I don't complain.

8. Capri fell off the kitchen chair 3 times last night because I thought that after the first time she would learn her lesson.....apparently not.

9. I make my girls "solve their own problems" at home..... I tell them to do it with their words, but that doesn't always happen.

10. My girls pee outside when they are swimming, and if they had "boy parts" I am sure that would be even more true.

Liz said...

Love it, Lins! Thanks!

Donna said...

Rachel, I totally used the threat of continuous diaper rash on our son, too! Let's just say, as far as it's usefulness in potty training...it's a good thing we stayed well-stocked with butt cream. He preferred the rash to actually admitting he had anything in his diaper. Frustrating!

But when he was ready to do it himself, potty training was a thing of the past. He just got it. I swore I would not tear my hair out over this issue with our second child. It's hard to resist the lure of diaper-free living, though!

hgrenier said...

I'm sure my kids will come running in here at any moment to find out why I've been laughing uncontrollably for the last few minutes! Hilarious post and comments! I think I laughed the loudest at #6! I've sooooo done all of those things too!

Katy said...

#6 made me literally LOL...you are hilarious!