...because we all have our motley moments!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My Kryptonite

Everyone has something about themselves that brings them down. Like Kryptonite it takes our strength and self esteem away and leaves us weak and vulnerable. Maybe it is something about our appearance, our abilities or intelligence that is a thorn in our sides. For me, it is a learning disability in spelling and a mild form of dyslexia (Which is really hard to spell by the way!)

I am not stupid, but sometimes when I have to write things out or take notes, I feel that I look like I am. All of the short vowels sound the same to me (they all sound like “ah”) so “sounding it out” is really hard, plus the English language does not always follow its own rules, making it even more difficult. Add on top of that the letters changing places in my head, and it all makes for a hard time. Needless to say, I LOVE spell check! It is helpful most of the time, except when I misspell a word to make another word. I often write defiantly instead of definitely because the spell check “auto corrects” it for me. But those words mean VERY different things. (“I am defiantly going to be there” is a little silly sounding!) Another mistake I often make is impatient instead of important (which can pretty much mean the opposite of each other). To help with this, I often have my wonderful hubby spell check for me. He reads most of my posts before they are posted to the world. Another way I cope is to use cheers or songs to help me remember how to spell words (be aggressive, got to be aggressive, got to B-E- A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!)

Another bother is the word verification on the blogger comments. Letters switch places in my head when the letters are straight, it happens much more when they are curved. There are times when I have to do the word verification 5 or more times because I can’t get it right. It is more annoying than anything. (note: I understand the usefulness of it, so I am not trying to get you to take it off.)

There are times when I am depressed about it. Satan gets in my head and tells me how stupid I am, and that I am not worth other people listening to what I have to say. But, I have to listen to the Holy Spirit who reminds me that I have a Masters in Math Education. (Of course, I gravitated to numbers since letters were so difficult) I am NOT stupid! I am a child of God! I love the Casting Crowns song,Voice of Truth.

Even Paul struggled with a limitation:
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 7-10

God has used my disability. As a teacher I had an understanding and compassion for students when they struggled with a math concept. I struggled with spelling, so I could relate. It also gave me a passion for the Special Education students in my classes. These kids were not stupid, they can do many things. I would tell my classes of my dyslexia to show that even with disabilities you can be successful! I can also be an example for my son, to not give up just because something is difficult.

Our God is so great. He uses our weakness, and makes us stronger people. Be encouraged today!


Karly said...

I have always been so proud of how hard you have worked to overcome your disablity. You have accomplished so much and you are a great teacher. You even have three blogs going right now which all require writing and spelling. Amazing!

Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration this morning!

Donna said...

Three blogs?!!! WOW! I can barely keep up with my weekly post here!

Fawnda, I hope we will all get to meet in person some time, but if not, it's fun learning about you through your writing. Funny thing is, the majority of us writing for M.M. are former teachers. I also learned that you and I are the same age.

Thanks for sharing your weakness. It's obvious God has used it to make you stronger in many ways.

Pam said...

Hey Fawnda,

I love that verse. It is one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing something so personal with us. I hope it can be used to help others. Have a great day!

fawnda said...

Thanks for the encouraging words. I do hope that we all can meet someday. We could have a motley moms reunion or something. : )

I do write on 3 blogs... but two of them I am co-author. I write here (motley moms). On my family blog (which I can e-mail to anyone who is interested) and I have a craft blog that I co-author with my best friend Jeannine. www.firefliesandjellybeans.blogspot.com Check it out!

I love to read and I just recently found that I also like to write... It is a testament to God's power that I am facing my Kryptonite through my blogs!

Liz said...

Thank you for sharing, Fawnda. I agree - God uses our weaknesses to make us stronger so we can help others. I'm sure your dyslexia made you a great teacher!

Maria said...

Great Post! It's nice getting to know you a bit better. Thanks for sharing your personal story with us. You are keeping it real!

Tara said...

Ahhhhh....Kryptonite. Everybody has it. Awesome post! I think it's great that you see how God uses you in that way. There are blessings in disguise everywhere.