Everyone has something about themselves that brings them down. Like Kryptonite it takes our strength and self esteem away and leaves us weak and vulnerable. Maybe it is something about our appearance, our abilities or intelligence that is a thorn in our sides. For me, it is a learning disability in spelling and a mild form of dyslexia (Which is really hard to spell by the way!)
I am not stupid, but sometimes when I have to write things out or take notes, I feel that I look like I am. All of the short vowels sound the same to me (they all sound like “ah”) so “sounding it out” is really hard, plus the English language does not always follow its own rules, making it even more difficult. Add on top of that the letters changing places in my head, and it all makes for a hard time. Needless to say, I LOVE spell check! It is helpful most of the time, except when I misspell a word to make another word. I often write defiantly instead of definitely because the spell check “auto corrects” it for me. But those words mean VERY different things. (“I am defiantly going to be there” is a little silly sounding!) Another mistake I often make is impatient instead of important (which can pretty much mean the opposite of each other). To help with this, I often have my wonderful hubby spell check for me. He reads most of my posts before they are posted to the world. Another way I cope is to use cheers or songs to help me remember how to spell words (be aggressive, got to be aggressive, got to B-E- A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!)
Another bother is the word verification on the blogger comments. Letters switch places in my head when the letters are straight, it happens much more when they are curved. There are times when I have to do the word verification 5 or more times because I can’t get it right. It is more annoying than anything. (note: I understand the usefulness of it, so I am not trying to get you to take it off.)
There are times when I am depressed about it. Satan gets in my head and tells me how stupid I am, and that I am not worth other people listening to what I have to say. But, I have to listen to the Holy Spirit who reminds me that I have a Masters in Math Education. (Of course, I gravitated to numbers since letters were so difficult) I am NOT stupid! I am a child of God! I love the Casting Crowns song,Voice of Truth.
Even Paul struggled with a limitation:
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 7-10
God has used my disability. As a teacher I had an understanding and compassion for students when they struggled with a math concept. I struggled with spelling, so I could relate. It also gave me a passion for the Special Education students in my classes. These kids were not stupid, they can do many things. I would tell my classes of my dyslexia to show that even with disabilities you can be successful! I can also be an example for my son, to not give up just because something is difficult.
Our God is so great. He uses our weakness, and makes us stronger people. Be encouraged today!