Siblings

I am excited to announce that My Hubby and I handed in our paperwork for our reapplication for adoption! We have had the paperwork since November and FINALLY finished it! It is A LOT harder to work on paperwork when you have a 2 year old running around! : )

Now we have to wait for our background checks to get back to the agency and we will be matched up with a social worker(SW). We just have to meet with the SW once to update our homestudy and we will be on the waiting list!

I have a cute story about the process so far:

I had some of the paperwork sitting on the table while our Little King was eating lunch. "What's that?" he says pointing to the paperwork.

"Oh that is paper to help us get you a sibling." I tell him

"Ohhhhhhhh.... sibbing!" He says.

"Do you want a sister?" I ask

"Ohhhhh Sister!" he says

"Or do you want a Brother?" I ask

"No, no... no brother!" He tells me.

Hmmmmmmmm do I take the advice of my two year old and go on the girl list?!?

We get to choose if we want a boy or a girl, which sounds great except that it is a REALLY hard decision! I mean I am choosing if my son has a brother or a sister and that means I am choosing if my son does NOT have a brother or a sister. It is a hard choice. I loved having a sister to share a room with, but I also loved have brothers too!

Later I asked him the same questions about a brother or a sister and his reply was: "No brother, no sister!" (which I think is the more honest answer!)

I hope all you Motley Moms in Florida are having fun with Karly this week... I am not going to lie to you...I am jealous!

You Know You're a Motley Mom When...

My aunt recently emailed me some news that would make most grocery shoppers' blood run cold. Not to make light of someone else's tragedy, but this is my actual, rather motley stream-of-thought email response to her note that "last night's murder/suicide was at MY Publix!"...

Donna: Oh my gosh! I hadn't heard anything about it here. That's scary. I wish our Publix filled online orders for pickup. That would be awesome. I'd never have to drag our two kids through the grocery store again...my own grocery nightmares actually never involve murderers. Just really whiny kids who think popping the air out of the bag of frozen peas and watching how far they scatter is what grocery shopping is all about. Aaaargh! Actually, B was trying, unsuccessfully, to be a good helper by getting the peas out of the freezer section for me. But he spent too long doodling on the inside of the foggy freezer door and when I snapped at him to "hurry up and get the peas!" he grabbed them a little too hard and, "POP!" Then he realized he could "ice skate" down the aisle on the frozen peas. Yep, we are awesome everywhere we go.

Just thought I'd share that little exchange, since you have probably had plenty of your own "Grocery Nightmares" over the years. Don'tcha just love shopping with the kids?!

The Marriage Ref

Have you seen the new TV show: The Marriage Ref? It has REAL life couple fighting and then a panel of "experts" (funny celebs that make fun of them like: Kelly Ripa and Jerry Seinfeld) give advice to the "ref " and then he declares the winner.

Sometimes that is what me and my Hubby need... some one to declare a winner and then we can move on! So today we are letting the Motley Moms be our Marriage Ref!

Here is what we are arguing about.... the taste of Ketchup... is it more salty or sweet?

My Hubby says it is salty. He looked at the back label and it is 9% of your sodium and it has salt listed as an ingredient.

I think that is is more sweet. There is sodium in pop and that is not salty. Also there is Fructose corn syrup listed BEFORE the salt on the ingredients which is sweet... and tomatoes are a fruit which has a little bit of a sweet flavor.

My Hubby's come back is that I am a salt lover so, my salt taste is off... it does not taste salty to me unless it is REALLY salty.

My come back is, yes, I am a salt lover... BUT he is a sweet tooth so I can use the same argument for him and the sweet taste.

So, this is where you come in. We decided that we will put up a poll and what ever you decide will stand!

Please help us! : )

2 Year Old Construction Birthday Party

This week my Baby turned two! It is wonderful and sad all at the same time! He is getting to be independent, able to communicate what he wants, plays great with toys! But he is also getting a little attitude, throwing tantrums, and acting a little demanding! Ahhhhhh, the terrific- terrible twos!

We had our Little Kings Birthday party last weekend. I like to have a theme when I am working on an event... it seems to focus me a little. So when I found this tool belt tutorial I was hooked! I made the tool belt for him for Christmas and we got him some toy tools...and recycled a toy tool bench from my brother's family! Now we had the starting of a fun construction party!

Here is what we did!

Invitations:

The rule is: if you ask people to dress up for your party - You have to dress up!

Here we are as construction workers!

Decorations: I used the Caution Tape from Home Depot as streamers

I used one of my Hubby's work tables to display the cake!

I ordered the cake from the grocery store... they make really good cake and it saved me a bunch of time!

I am sure that you can find a fun cake to make if your google it!

We made a table my putting some plywood on a pair of saw horses!

(My parents were such great sports and went ALL OUT to dress up!)

:

Games/activities:

Building with blocks! The kids LOVED this!

I got plastic hard hats from Birthday Party Express for the kids to decorate with stickers and their names. I picked up the letter stickers and other stickers from the dollar store!

Pin the Tool On the Builder:

I made the builder on tag board and cut out the tools from tag board as well.

See my son peeking at the bottom of the picture!

Here is the tool bench we got!

Beat the Builder:

Kids would try to pound the bottom row of nails before the builder pounds the top row! It is a race! If you win you get a "I beat the Builder!" badge to show off!

Food:

I made a bag lunch for the crew! I had all the lunch pre-made. This was one of the best ideas of the party! I did not have to be in the kitchen getting food ready during the party AT ALL! And everyone got fed at pretty much the same time! I put every one's name on their lunch which made it fun!

Here is what I put in each lunch. I had juice boxes for kids and cans of pop for adults.

We had a great time! I got some of my ideas from googling "construction party ideas" and others just came to me!

What I'm Reading

I don't have much that I want to write about lately, mostly because I have a lot going on and not enough distance from it to write about it very well. Suffice it to say that I'm still in the throes of the "baby craze" that I thought I had finally escaped, our outside commitments are threatening to overtake our family commitments, and time is getting away from me.

My escape: read a good book. Four weeks ago I read Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, which is so witty and charming, I don't know how I managed to miss this one until now. If you haven't read it, you definitely should.

Next, I moved on to Ender's Game, which made me feel very unoriginal when I read the beginning and felt like I was reading the beginning of my own fictional work in progress, The G.E. Kid. Once I got past the beginning, though, I realized it goes in quite a different direction than I am headed with mine, so I felt a little more inclined to work on mine some more, but not inclined enough to actually do it...yet.

Ender's Game is science fiction for adolescent readers, middle to high school, and I enjoyed it. Before you start judging me for my YA fiction choices, let me remind you that the Twilight series was written for teens as well, and we all know who wound up loving it the most. Yep...Moms. At one point I even heard them called "Twi-Moms" for their crazier-than-the-kids behavior at book signings and movie events. So I'm not alone in my less-than-mature reading material choices.

Next, I have just received a copy of The Time Traveler's Wife from the library's Books by Mail program. I love checking the mail and finding a good book there instead of junk mail! Especially when it's a surprise. I was #30-something on the list when I reserved it online several months ago. It's really interesting so far. Anyone else read it?

After this, I plan to read Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. The movie is coming out very soon and it looks really good!

How's that for an eclectic mix of literature? I love to read and my kids know it. We finished The Swiss Family Robinson with the kids and I have just started reading the first Harry Potter book to them. They are completely enraptured by it. It probably doesn't hurt that I do all the accents, including a thick Scottish brogue for Hagrid. I love reading aloud and hearing Paul read aloud to the kids. It's so cozy when we all pile up on the couch for a good story. I can forget about the outside world in that moment.

What are you reading? How do you "escape" at home?

Gotcha Day

Nov. 5th was our Little King's Gotcha day! The day we tell our son that "We Gotcha!" and the day that he "gotcha" us too! Nov 5th was the day that we actually took custody of our son and brought him home for good!

The week working up to his Gotcha day we had been spending remembering our Little King's delivery into our family.

Here is the story:

On Oct 29th we went to the airport and flew to Korea (an 1 hour flight to Chicago and a 12 hour flight to Korea)

Here we are BEFORE we left. The was BEFORE we became parents. Don't we look well rested.
On Oct. 31st we had our first meeting in our son. It lasted for 1 hour and we got to spend 20 minutes alone with him. He was very happy to play with me and my hubby. We got our first family shot:

Our second meeting with our Little King was on Nov. 3rd, he was not so happy this meeting. He was pretty crabby... but it was because he missed his nap and he was tired. My Hubby worked his "baby whisper" magic and calmed our son down.
He passed our son off to me, and our little king fell asleep in my arms. This is one of my all time favorite pictures!

On Nov. 5th, we got up early to start our journey home. The President of the Korean agency says a prayer for every child that leaves his care. He prayed for our little king and we were ushered into the van to bring us to the airport. It was only once we were in the van with the doors about the close that our son's foster mom handed him over to me. It was AMAZING the calm spirit that took over me. All morning I had been a nervous wreak! But once my Little King was in my arms... everything was right.

We drove to the airport, got on the plane to fly home to the USA (a 14 hour flight to Chicago- than an hour and a half lay over and another hour flight to Minneapolis - all with a 9 month old)

Our son was a GREAT traveler... better than his mama most of the time. (I get motion sick in cars, planes, boats... I am a gem to travel with) He loved the turbulence, he was laughing while I as laying down praying for it to stop!

Here is our son in his car seat for the first time, on the way home from the airport.
Finally home after 21 + hours of traveling by van, plane, and car!
To celebrate our Gotcha Day we went to a Korean restaurant and spent time looking at pictures and telling the story of our Little kings Journey home. I made our Little King a crown to wear for his special day.
The crown says "Today is my Gotcha Day! Nov. 5th 2008"

Here he is happy at the restaurant with his daddy!

It is amazing to remember our trip to Korea to get our son. I cannot image our life without him!

Happy Halloween!

Here are the pumpkins we carved this year.

Last year we were focused on a different little pumpkin! Our Little King! Last year on October 31st we met our son for the first time. We had arrived in Korea the night before. We were very nervous and excited!
Our meeting with our son included me, Jason, our Korean social worker, our son and his foster mom. The 5 of us met in one of the agency's observation rooms. We asked questions of the foster mom about our little kings schedule, what he ate, how he went to sleep... etc. She told us as much information as she could and tried to show off all the things our son could do. We then got 20 minutes alone with our baby. It was the first time our family was alone, together. The total meeting lasted about an hour. We left with another meeting scheduled, a bunch of pictures, and anticipation. (we actually did not get custody of our son until a few days later, this was just a meeting time)

Here are some pictures of that day: It is interesting looking back at these pictures and remembering this day. I remember when we took these pictures, I was thinking, "This is going to be my baby!" Now when I look at the pictures I think "That is MY baby!" (We are all dressed up because it is Korean Culture to dress your best)

Last year for Halloween, Jason and I got a whole new identity, not just a costume. We became parents! We will be celebrating Halloween today with our Little King in some traditional ways (dressing up, getting candy) and some nontraditional ways (looking at pictures and telling the story of how we met for the first time). It is going to be great!

And here is our little giraffe today! Does he look ready for treat-or-treating or what!?

Chaos. You know...Normal Family Life, Right?

If I were a working mom, I'd lose my job. Mostly because I would never actually be able to show up for work. The days I actually made it to work, it would feel like vacation days from the family chaos.

The reason: My family is singlehandedly keeping the pediatrician's family very well fed. First KID 1 had a fever for six days. SIX DAYS!!! Missed three days of school. Pinkeye kept us all home over the weekend and KID 1 home from school for two more days. He went back to school today, which allowed me to get KID 1 to the doctor for her arm, which we thought might be broken. It took from 8:30am til about 1:00pm today to find out: it is. Broken. But not all the way through. It's apparently a "greenstick fracture," which is just a fancy way of saying it didn't break all the way through.

My challenge now is to keep KID 2 from constantly pulling off her temporary cast. If she can keep it on for the next two weeks, she should be fine. We can take it off for baths every few days or so, change the wrap to a clean one, and then go back to the doctor's office (joy) to have it looked at in two weeks. As I write this, she is keeping up a steady, sobbing refrain of "I DON'T WANT THIS ON! I DON'T WANT THIS ON! Moooooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy, I don't WANT this on!" Poor baby.

In the meantime, the kids I normally watch throughout the week could not come here, so their poor moms had to keep finding alternate plans so they could make it to work. Hats off to all you working moms who not only enjoy the chaos, frustration, and whines at home, but then actually make it to work to endure chaos, frustration, and whiny co-workers. Hopefully your home is a sanctuary when you need it to be. God bless you!

In the meantime, I am keeping up my own steady refrain, "This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass. This, too...." I'm not wishing away their childhoods...only this very recent development of utter chaos. That can march right out the back door and keep goin'!

Cuter than when I dropped him off

Last week I went "back to work" (if you can call working one day a week "back to work") I am tutoring at a Home School Co-op. I am tutoring Alg. 1, Alg. 2, and Advanced Math. It is the perfect job for me right now. I only work 4.5 hours a week. I get to teach math and there is FREE daycare for my son. It all sounded so great to me until I had to drop off my Little King at the daycare.

The daycare is great. The people who run are good. That was not the problem. I was the problem. I did not want to leave my son for 4.5 hours. I had never left him with anyone for that long. As I drove closer and closer to work the more and more I got nervous, and sad. But I sucked it up and went to the nursery and dropped him off. He waved and said "bub-bye" to me as I walked out the door. I walked quickly to my room to set up for the first class (can you call 9 students a class?) I didn't look back, I knew if I did I would be right back in the nursery! So, I started to teach. Time went by pretty quickly as I got back into my teacher role. But, I was SO SO SO SO SO excited to go and pick up my Little King at the end of my teaching time. When I entered the nursery, I couldn't believe it. I don't know how it happened but...

My son had, some how, gotten cuter in the last 4.5 hours. I didn't think that was possible, but he was so ADORABLE! I just wanted to eat him up, kiss and snuggle him! So, I did! And he loved it!

When I told my friend, Joy this story she said: "I know what you mean, coming home to my kids is like coming home to a present every day! I am always so excited to see them!"

It is totally true what they say: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

One Less Kid

We only have two, but sending KID 1 off to Kindergarten has really given me a LOT more time and energy to get stuff done around here. It's amazing what a difference one less kid makes when it comes to home projects! My house is cleaner, more organized, and more "put together" than ever before. I feel like I have a little more time to spend making things work better around here. I'm cleaning out closets, getting rid of excess stuff, planning our menus for the week, and creating "systems" for managing the household. Holy crap! It's like a whole new woman is emerging from the tired, stressed out, weight-gaining, unmotivated, unhealthy old me. And I didn't even realize things had gotten so bad until I could compare the "old me" to the "new me." I just thought I was lazy for the last five years. Wow! I feel so much lighter. 52.5 lbs lighter, in fact.

I guess I had just gotten into a rut. Mostly due to the fact that there are only a limited number of hours in the day, much of them taken up by our two preschoolers. And as you know, staying home with preschoolers is HARD WORK! While I didn't have to change his diapers anymore, or even change wet sheets, or get him dressed, or feed him, our five-year-old required so much of my time and energy to train him, love him, and entertain him. Now that he's spending most of his learning time at school, I feel like I can just relax and have fun with him when he's at home.

I'm able to focus more attention on our little one now, who loves having Mommy all to herself. She started preschool this week, so now I have two mornings a week to work out, do some writing, get my hair cut, go shopping, schedule appointments, or relax, all without having to juggle two kids simultaneously. When I went for my yearly this spring, both kids were with me and they both decided to wear their cowboy boots and hats. "Brought my posse, Doc," I quipped to the doctor as she bustled in to find two cowhands climbing on her stool. It will be so nice to walk into the ob/gyn exam room ALONE!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids. We have fun together. I didn't even realize how depleted I was until I got some time back for myself. This is the first time I have had daylight hours to myself in over FIVE YEARS! It's great, but I also wouldn't trade these past five years for all the tea in China. I've just entered a new "phase" of mothering, and I have to say, it's fabulous! Like Karly, I didn't shed a single tear when we delivered our little Kindergartner to his teacher on the first day of school. I was ready for the change and so was he.

"Have a great day at school, honey!"

Thankfulness

The other day while I was cleaning the bathroom I found a ball, along with other toys, behind the toilet. I laughed and thought about how different cleaning our house has become since the arrival of our little king. 10 months ago there were not toys hiding behind the toilet! Instead of being annoyed at it, I was thankful. I was thankful that I had a little boy to throw toys behind my toilet! (there is something I never thought I'd say). Not that I love to clean up all the time after my little king who throws toys EVERYWHERE, but I can be thankful for having a son who I love so much! It makes the cleaning a little bit better!

There are a lot of women who long to stay up night and rock a baby to sleep, to pick up toys after a toddler, to clean a poopy diaper. I was one of them. I don't want this to be a big guilt trip... I am offering a different perspective.

What are some unusual ways that you find yourself being thankful for your kids?

We all scream for Ice cream... well, most of us anyways!

We went to Culver's today for lunch. My Hubby got a meal and a blueberry sundae. At Culver's they give you your drinks and ice cream treats first and than you wait for them to make your hot food. While we were waiting for our food our son saw the sundae and started saying "blueberry, blueberry..."(he is 18 months). Our son LOVES blueberries, one of his first words was blueberry. So DH put a little on the spoon and stated to try and feed the ice cream to our Little king. Our son shook his head and said "no no."

He must not know what he is doing... so we tried again this time saying "yum yum, ice cream, mmmmmmmm yummy"

He shook his head again and said "yucky" for the first time.

I knew the day would come when my son would tell me that some food was yucky.... I just did not think it would be about ice cream!

Girl at War

My sister-in-law Kyann is the bravest girl I know. In March of 2003, Kyann lived alone in Savannah, Georgia. Each day while she was working, her husband Earl was sleeping. For more than six months, she did all of the cleaning, all of the shopping, paid all of the bills, and took care of all of their dogs - all alone. They had only lived in Savannah for two months when Earl left, and Kyann was almost a thousand miles away from her friends and family.


Each night, when she went to bed alone, Earl would get up and set off again to drive endlessly across the open dessert. Earl's Cavalry Regiment was attached to the Army's 3rd ID (Infantry Division). The 3rd ID was the Army's first conventional U.S. unit to enter Baghdad during the 2003 invasion in our war with Iraq. Earl's Unit had an embedded report, so each night Kyann could watch the Bradleys (tank-like vehicles) trek across Iraq towards Baghdad.

Being the first land unit in Iraq brought many challenges. If the unthinkable happened, we would watch it on the news before my sister-in-law would be notified. We would know that something terrible happened before we knew for sure Earl was safe. Camps weren't set up. There were no places to shower, eat or even sleep, not to mention the obvious dangers Earl faced in combat.

Through all of this, Kyann was brave and independent. She wasn't negative and did not complain. I think I cried about her being alone and Earl being in danger more than she did.

Now six years later, Earl is home safe, but Kyann is fighting her own war. In late April, my dear sister-in-law was diagnosed with Stage III Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Just this week, we found out that the cancer is now Stage IV. Inflammatory Breast Cancer is very aggressive, and she is facing an uphill battle, yet true to her nature, Kyann is calm and positive. She never complains. She has not changed any of her daily routine or dished off any wifely or motherly duties. She rarely cries and keeps looking for ways to help others.

I talked to her on Thursday to get the details from her doctor's appointment. In the very same conversation, her good news was that she had decided to put together a team for Louisville's Susan G. Koman Walk for Life. Her example of strength and grace makes me think that God didn't allow this to happen to me largely because he wouldn't have wanted to hear me whine. So, in the spirit of Kyann, I will share with you some quotes I found to help encourage her and maybe me too.

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are but small matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. " ~ Psalm 34:18

"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell." ~ Lance Armstrong

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~ Maya Angelou

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"Therefore we do not loose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16



Kyann reminds me of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. She is kind and does not envy. She is not proud and doesn't boast. She always protects, always trusts and always perseveres. She will probably be very embarrassed when I tell her I blogged about her. Kyann doesn't want anyone to fuss over her or worry about her, but she is a hero who needs our support. (BTW - The adorable little girl in the photo is her daughter, my one-year-old niece Bella. She looks like me, right?) Will you please pray for Kyann and her family? Please pray for God to guide her to the right treatment at the right time to beat this disease. Also, be advised that in the near future, I will be asking you all to sponsor me as I walk with her in October.

Being Karly's Younger sister

Karly is on vacation with her family again this week. This is Fawnda posting today. Being the younger sister that I am, I thought you might want to hear some funny stories about Karly from my point of view! She does not know that I am doing this... wont it be a nice surprise for her! ;)

I have to start off by saying that Karly was the BEST older sister I could have asked for. She is more than just a sister, she is my closest friend.

Ok on to the stories!

A Sweet One:
We shard a room for most of our childhood. I am very prone to nightmares. I was so bad, that I had them from watching scooby-doo (yes the cartoon). Often in the middle of the night when I would wake up crying, Karly would be there to comfort me. She would take all of her stuffed animals (she had a lot and they were all better than mine!) and place them around me and tell me they were there to protect me. Can you ask for anything more!

A Boy-Crazy One:
Karly has always been beautiful. Boys would always fall in love with her at first site. Let me tell ya, it was sometimes hard to stand next to the blond beauty! I can vividly remember a trip our family took to a local amusement park, Valley Fair. Karly and I went off on our own for a while (we were probably about 13 and 15 years old). We were standing in line for a roller coaster, the part of the line we were in was right by where the roller coaster would roll by to go up the big hill. While were were standing there, 2 boys starting yelling from the roller coaster "I love you... will you marrying me?.... hey you Blondy... look over here!" They eyes were locked on my sister. This went on for the the whole trip they were climbing up the hill. Do you think they even saw the brunette (me) standing next to her? I don't ether!

The One Where I Had to Break Up With Her Boy-Friend For Her:
If you ever talk with me and Karly, you will see that we have pretty much the same voice and use the same inflections. Often times, people would not believe we were sisters (She is blond with blue eyes and I am brunette with brown eyes) until they talked to us! On the phone it is even harder to tell the difference... my mom has confused us sometimes! So, Karly was going out with this guy. At first she thought he was cute and ok, but he turned out to be some-what of a loser. She felt so bad about breaking up with him, she didn't know if she could do it. So I called him up and pretended to be Karly and broke his heart. It was short conversation, but she owed me big time after that!

The One Where She Becomes A Goddess:
During a week at summer camp Karly came home and had met a guy names Eric, but everyone called him Zeus because he was so good looking he was a "god". Well, Eric found his goddess that week, yep, Karly. Her nickname became: Venus. Let me tell ya, Eric was VERY VERY good looking! (But nothing compared to My Husband of course! ) But, looks are not everything. Karly will tell you that he was cute but not a good looking as her husband, she is head over heels in love with her man!

The One When I knew He Was The One!
Like I said before, Karly was a blond goddess. I had guys talk to me in high school simply because I was Karly's sister. I even had a guy date me because I was her sister (we broke-up after I found that out!) If I dated a guy who did not know Karly, once they met her, they would be like "Wow! Your sister is Hot!" (High school boys are so dumb!) This was none of Karly fault, of course, but still not fun! So when I started dating my husband, I was a little nervous when it came time to meet Karly. I tried to prep him so that he would not be taken off guard and just stare at her. But after he met her is said "I don't see what the big deal is... you are MUCH more pretty than her!" I almost asked him to merry me right there! (He did not mean any disrespect to Karly!)

I will leave you with those... maybe Karly will think twice before leaving town without writing her motley post! : )

Dealing with Death

Pop Pop passed away on Sunday morning this week after a long decline this year. He and Grammy made it to their favorite place on Earth, Silver Bay, NY, and have lived with us for the past month. This enabled us to help take care of Pop Pop, which was a whole family affair. Our two children (ages 5 and 2) helped get Pop Pop up in the morning and put him to bed at night, raising his bed and moving his wheelchair into place. They brought him water, his hat, clean napkins and tissues, and anything else they could think of that Pop Pop could possibly need. They helped lift his feet onto his wheelchair footrests when he couldn't lift them himself and assisted with pushing the chair wherever we went. Most importantly, these two enthusiastic caregivers provided endless entertainment for Pop Pop every single day. Singing, dancing, telling stories about their day at Wee Woozles (camp), helping build fires in the fireplace (Pop Pop loved a good fire), and generally being happy preschoolers.

Needless to say, losing Pop Pop was very, very hard for them. Our 5 1/2 year-old understood the permanence of death, so he was absolutely devastated. Our 2 1/2 year-old does not understand, of course, and so keeps asking when Pop Pop will come back from Heaven. A friend asked if my husband has been able to process his father's death at all, and the answer is, "Yes and no." We have to process it over and over again with the kids, answering each heartfelt question as simply and faithfully as we can. We are reading lots of books about death written for preschoolers, which was really hard at the beginning of the week, but gets easier as time passes.

Our son will say, out of the blue, "Mommy, I don't ever want you, or Daddy, or (Sister), or me to ever, ever die." How can I argue with that? Life is beautiful and sometimes I feel the same way about death. I just take his comments thoughtfully and talk with him about all the good, fun things we do and how much we enjoy God's amazing creation all around us.

It's been a hard week. This is a big change. Their little world was rocked off its axis when their Pop Pop died. Sticking to their familiar schedule and spending lots of time together is helping to stabilize them, and hopefully, by the end of the summer, their hearts will have healed enough to then go home and handle the death of our beloved golden retriever, Toby, who has lymphoma.

This summer is teaching us about loss, but also about love and the strength of family ties. I thank God for great friends and family, and for our wonderful spiritual leaders who are supporting us each step of the way. One called from Wales when he heard of our loss. Another is retired, but took the time to call my mother-in-law and extend his sympathies. Our chaplain here at Silver Bay has visited, helped make arrangements, and made a trip to a library to find us books about death to share with the children. Friends have sent cards, emails, and even hams. We certainly don't lack for support and love!

Help! I need advice!

After witnessing his granddad have what looked like a stroke at the lunch table on Wednesday and the frantic call to 911, I was worried about how our 5 1/2 year-old son was processing everything. He hadn't really said much about it at all. He and I were having some bonding time together reading books and watching "So You Think You Can Dance" later that evening when we talked about it:

Me: "How did you feel about what happened to Pop Pop today?"

His answer: "I felt mean."

Me: "You felt mean?"

Him: nods

Me: "What do you mean, "you felt mean?"

Him: "I felt mean because I couldn't stop it."

Me, trying to hold back the tears for his sake: "Honey, Mommy, Daddy and Grammy were there, too. We're grown-ups and we couldn't stop it either. We just all helped in our own special ways until the ambulance got here to help Pop Pop. Mommy called 911. Daddy checked Pop Pop's breathing and heart beat, Grammy talked to Pop Pop, and You showed Pop Pop your beautiful drawing to help him smile. Then you went out and watched for the ambulance. When the ambulance pulled away, we prayed for Pop Pop, remember? We all did what we could to help, but nobody could have stopped it from happening."

I'm not sure how to help him through all this, but I think talking about it helps. I never expected him to say he felt mean (responsible). He really took it all on himself and never said a word until I asked him about it. Since then, he's had some angry outbursts over little things: a painting that didn't turn out the way he wanted, he refused to go to his children's program, then he got sulky and mad when we had to leave a friend's house after lunch (even though I gave plenty of warning). I think I need to come up with some ways to give him more control, but still stick to the schedule as much as possible. Any ideas?

He loves to do art, and I know therapists often use art as a tool to get kids talking, but I don't know how. Does anyone know of a good book or have some advice for us on how to handle this?

I LOVE fireworks, but...

I am a HUGE fan of Fireworks. One summer, I went to fireworks almost every weekend for the whole summer... It was my job to find out what city was having fireworks each weekend. It was a blast. I love that it is good old fashion free entertainment. I love going early to find a spot, people watching, eating the yummy treats we bring...and finally the fireworks show!

The fireworks that we usually go to on the 4th are EXCELLENT! They are choreographed to music, and I cry every year. It is in the cute town that I want to live in some day. I look forward to watching fireworks every year. I have always looked forward to bringing our children to watch them with us some day!

But, this year we did not go. We had fully planned on going and bringing our 17 month old with us. It would be our first fireworks as parents. We tried to plan how to keep him happy for the 2+ hours we would have to wait until the fireworks actually went off (10 PM here in the Midwest) and we planned on how we would get out quickly (bring the backpack carrier and not the stroller). But when it came time to pack up all our stuff, our little king had a total fit about taking his shoe off... and then proceeded to have a fit about the fact that his shoe was not on his foot. This is when we started to rethink our plan. He showed many signs of being a tired and cranky baby. My Husband reminded me of our firework experience last year, where we sat in front of a couple who had their 1 year old son along, who cried the WHOLE TIME. We did not want to be those people, so we stayed home. I am bummed, but I know we made the right choice. Hopefully, we will get to go next year!

I agree with Donna's post from yesterday, it is not worth it some times. Do I want my first fireworks experience with my child to be a frustrating one? No, not really!

My Husband did talk me into going up on our roof to see if we could see any fireworks from there. I must have really wanted to see them because even though I am TOTALLY freaked out of heights, I went up! I almost had a panic attack (I found it hard to breath and almost threw-up) and we couldn't see any (some were behind some trees but no clear view). Bummer. But, at least I tried!

As parents, we have to look at "fun events" differently than we did before we had childern. It is not always best to do something that we have always done. It is not about fitting our childern into our lives, but about living a life that will be GREAT for our family! I know that I am happrier here at home (post panic attack) with my son sound asleep, than I would have been fighting the crowds with a screaming child. Plus, I m pretty sure that they are not going to stop doing fireowrks for the 4th of july any time soon so, I will get another chance to see them!

Stick to the Program!

While spending time here at our summer getaway, we have tried several times to take advantage of some really fun, classic evening activities down on the campus of the YMCA conference center: family sing-alongs, campfires, family art night, game night, and going out for ice cream after dinner (they have really yummy ice cream there!). These activities are geared for families with young children, but they don't start until 7 or 7:30 pm. Which is fine if you're on vacation for just a few days with your family, but we live here all summer.

For us, these events (as fun as they are) just make bedtime absolutely unbearable. The behavior the next day is unspeakable. When our children go past their bedtimes, they seem to catch a second wind and a bratty disposition. They do NOT want to go to bed, even though their regular bedtime was two hours ago! So we're realizing that as great as these activities seem, having the kids stay up past their bedtime is just not worth it. Our kids really, REALLY need their schedules to stay predictable. When things become unpredictable, we all end up unhappy. There is usually yelling or threatening involved, from one or both sides. What a way to end a day, huh?

So we have decided that fireworks are not on our list of "Can't Miss" things this year. The kids marched in the "Shortest 4th in the North Parade" with their children's program groups yesterday. One marched with the "Wee Woozles" and the other marched and hopped with the "Crickets." It was classic! Today we might go visit an historic fort, where they do reenactments and cool activities with the kids. We made homemade vanilla ice cream with the kids yesterday to enjoy on this beautiful 4th of July, complete with homemade hot fudge sauce.

In other words, I'm not going to feel guilty about nixxing the fireworks tonight. Up here in the mountains, it stays light until almost 10:00 at night...firworks begin at 9:30. The display is put on by a town about a 1/2 hour away from us. We are SOOOoooo not doing that with our preschoolers!!!! They will still wake up at 6 am (or earlier) no matter how late they stay up, so we're going to preserve our sanity and stick to the regularly scheduled program. I'm gonna miss seeing those beautiful fireworks, though!

(Correction: I just checked the website and realized fireworks begin at 10PM!...seriously, that is WAY too late!!!!)

Happy 4th of July! How are you celebrating with your little ones?

If you give a mom a cookie...

I saw this idea on another blog and thought it was cute so I put my own spin on it!


If You give a Mom a Cookie

If you give a mom a cookie, she will take one bite. Her one year old will come up to her and sign that he wants food and point to the cookie.

This will remind the Mom that it is lunch time. Since a cookie is not a good lunch, she will put it down and open the refrigerator to look for some lunch. After scraping together a few things for her little one, she decided it is well past time to go grocery shopping.

After writing list and packing her child into the car, she will go to the grocery store to get some food for her family. Once she is home and unpacked the food her little one will spill some of his juice.

The mom will clean up the mess with a towel and throw it down the clothes shoot and remember that the laundry needs to be done. She will go to do a load of Laundry.

While doing the Laundry, her little one will get into the bathroom and pull all the Toilet paper off the roll and dig in the garbage, (Gross!) She will have to clean up the mess in the bath room and her child!

She looks at the clock and it is time to get dinner ready. She sets about to preparing a meal that will make her family happy and full , trying not to trip on her child who is playing at her feet.

Her Husband will come home and they will sit down to a nice family meal, complete with burping and the throwing of food! After dinner, she will remember her cookie and go back to where she put it down.

It is not there! She asks her husband if he saw it... He says "Yeah, I ate it! It was good! You should have one!"

Adapted from the book "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

Weekend to Remember

This past weekend, my husband and I attended the Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage conference in Orlando.

It was the best thing we have done as a couple!

This October will mark 18 years of marriage and 20 years of togetherness. Whew! I can't believe it! First of all, I never imagined myself being this old and secondly, I can't believe we've been married this long.

You see, when I went into marriage my thought was that if it didn't work out, then I'd just get a divorce. No big deal. Like returning a sweater that just doesn't fit quite right and doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would.

Looking back, I can see how far I've come. Now, my lifetime goal is to not only remain married, but to really find joy every step of the way. I want to leave a legacy to my girls of what a beautiful marriage looks like. Most everything I do revolves around this life goal that I have.

This is a list of top 3 things that have helped me remain married:

1) Believing that Christ is real and understanding what salvation, grace and forgiveness really are. Having a husband that also believes and understands these things.
2) Books, radio, movies, MOPS, Church, Christian organizations, and other people that support marriage.
3) Great friends and family that will discuss things from their hearts.

Do you have a support system in place to help you with your marriage? I highly recommend that you do because it will help you on those inevitable days that life being married just seems too hard and possibly not worth the effort.

I want to encourage each of you to do all that you can to safeguard your marriage NOW. Hard times will come and the decisions you make today will determine the decisions you make in the future.

Here's a link to Family Life. If you are married and want to do something awesome for yourself and spouse, go to one of their upcoming conferences. You'll be so happy that you did!

http://familylife.com