...because we all have our motley moments!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Family Bed at our House

We have a family bed. Really. Seriously.

Because of my single mom status after THE Princess was born, it was much easier for me to have her near me to maximize our rest times. It was very natural and she and I had plenty of room, sharing a queen-size bed. After meeting RM, he understood that sharing a bed with THE Princess was something that we would need to do. I did try to put her in her crib a few times and it didn't go well. I would try to be tough but lay awake listening to her whimper. RM really couldn't take it and would go after her. Snugging her in between us, we all usually slept well.

When the King of the Jungle was on the way. We upgraded to a King size bed. Wow, what a lot more space!! No more toddler feet in the back or head!

When KOTJ came home, I didn't even attempt to put him into the crib. I immediately took him to bed with us. I never even looked back. Now, we all snug in together. I am able to nurse him at night with minimal disruptions to our rest. In fact, he normally doesn't even open his eyes, he just rustles in his sleep next to me and I know to nurse him. Early in the morning when the kids wake, THE Princess loves to move over to KOTJ and "snug him up," as she says.

Do I worry about SIDS? Not even a little. I sleep with my hand on his chest. It's a very light sleep. My mom calls it the "Mother's Ear." I don't worry about getting grief from the pediatrician, either. I am not too ashamed to admit that I don't tell him. He has to advise what the American Academy of Pediatrics says. It's a CYA thing. Plus, there is plenty of research that sides with me, too. But, really it goes back to the best advice. The advice my mom gave me.

"Remember that no one knows your family like you do. No one knows your children like you do. Do what you know is right for you and your family, even if it doesn’t agree with the ‘experts’ and even if it doesn’t agree with me.”

The family bed works for us. We lay, snugged together, in the gloaming, and talk and sing and love. I wouldn't change it.

I guess when more little darlings grace our lives...we're gonna need a bigger bed!


Liz said...

Oh, Bryssy, you're not a bad mom. Like you said, whatever works for your family. It's no one else's business, including the pediatrician. Your family bed sounds cozy!

Bryssy said...

Sometimes I think I am crazy...but most of the time I really like us all being together. Other times, you know when RM and I would like to be *alone* it's a little more challenging.

Donna said...

Yeah, I thought it might be a bit challenging to be intimate when there's a restless, squirming, kicking, curious kid in the bed...mostly because we never got any sleep. The family bed just didn't work for us. Paul is a very light sleeper and KID 1 is a very active, noisy sleeper. It just didn't work!

Your family bed sounds cozy...my sister did the same thing as a single mom with her daughter. My niece is 9 now and has been sleeping in her own bed for years. Once you're all ready to make the transition, it will be fine!