It's always the same place. I'm sitting at a desk, looking around the room, trying to find a familiar face, but no one seems to know me. Realization hits--I'm in a classroom. It feels like a college classroom. Usually there is a periodic table on the wall or maybe a graph on the chalkboard. Gradually the details return to me. This is a class. A class that I am taking. Why don't I know anyone? Because I haven't been coming to class. I check my calendar. I've waited too long to withdraw without this going on my transcript. I don't even recognize the professor. Maybe I could talk to him...take the final and still pass the class...he could withdraw me himself...why did it have to be Chemistry again? How am I ever going to learn a semester's worth of material in time to pass the final that he's saying is tomorrow?
I'm worried about my transcript. How will it look to have this horrible grade sitting there? Will I get fired from teaching if I fail this class? What about my degree? Wait a second, my degree. That's right. I did get my degree. They wouldn't let me teach if I didn't have one. Wait a minute, I don't teach anymore. What's going on here?
Abruptly I wake myself from this nightmare and gasp with relief. Indeed, I did graduate from college. Years ago. I have had my career, and I'm staying at home now with our little boy. So, why did I have this dream? Why have I been having this dream at least once a week since I finished school?
This little scene has been popping into my subconscious rather frequently lately, and I decided to do some introspective psychoanalysis. I think that perhaps my mind is reminding me of something that I have known for years but have chosen to do little about: I am a procrastinator.
My procrastination hit it's peak during my college years when I realized that, indeed, if one consumes enough coffee one can function for a continuous 24 hour period. Therefore, why should anyone prepare in advance when a project can easily be done within hours of its due date? This actually worked for me, believe it or not, in my language and literature classes. I did very well although I was a bit tired most of the time. Science and math were not too forgiving, however, and I do believe that is why my dream always centers around those classrooms.
Why on earth am I talking about this on Motley Moms? Well, this dream continues to rear it's ugly head now because I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING. I still have unfinished projects that I'm putting off until later. I prepare for my toddler Sunday School class the night before. I run to the store late at night to get things I need for the next day even though I have had ample time to do it earlier in the week. I'm even typing this blog a lot later than I should be.
And I'm a mom whose son watches every move that I make.
If I'm not careful, those late night trips to a 24-hour Wal-mart for trash bags and diapers are going to become group project poster board expeditions. The word "now" won't mean anything to him if it doesn't mean anything to Mommy.
How do I break a bad habit that has taken me a lifetime to perfect? And how do I teach my son to use his time more wisely? Do you have any words of wisdom?
Have a blessed Sunday, and sweet dreams!