...because we all have our motley moments!

Monday, March 30, 2009

One of Those Moms

I am one of those moms. Strike that, I wanted to be one of those moms. You know them. You've rolled your eyes at them, or maybe you've even started out as one yourself. MY CHILD was not going to watch TV. MY CHILD was never going to eat a McDonald's cheeseburger, and certainly not their french fries. I started out strong: I painted clouds on his nursery ceiling, bought a super spiffy food processor that could basically get juice out of a turnip, prewashed all of his clothes in Dreft, and then hung them on the clothes line to dry. I had grand visions of making cookies from scratch and then cutting them out and icing them. We would build entire villages or maybe a to scale size of Noah's Ark with the actual Bible in front of us for our blue print. What a great lesson for a preschooler! Then, I was handed a child.

I think that God was actually laughing out loud at me as he watched how this would play out. He knew that he would be handing me, the eternally nervous, uptight, Type A, accountant mom a squirming, charismatic, energetic baby boy. I fell in love with Alex at first sight. It was an instant, head over heals love for this child. I cannot imagine my life without him, but I am so far away from my comfort zone that I wouldn't recognize it if it knocked on my door. My child says hi to every stranger. Wait, there are no strangers to him. I, on the other hand, am super excited to greet someone AFTER they have said hi to me. I have to play it safe. Do they know me? Are they glad to see me first? Never mind the obvious safety factors of talking let alone hugging total strangers!

And I have news for you, my dear Florida friends. This is me relaxed. You should have seen me when we first got home. A lot of my reservations were left in Russia. We were in Russia at the height of the Bird Flu outbreak, and yet we were so tired of eating CBAPPO pizza. (CBAPPO is actually Sbarro Pizza in the Cyrillic alphabet.) We finally gave in and ate Roastix Chicken, and it was delicious. At least I would have died happy. Against my better judgement, I also bought a pastry from a street vendor, and it was some of the best food I have ever eaten in my life. My judgement might have been skewed by the sample shot of Vodka I tried in that gift shop, but what happens in Russia, stays in Russia, right? Several more of my mom rules were lost somewhere over the Atlantic on our flight home, and I have been loosing them almost daily ever since.

My grandiose ideas have also been laid to rest. Being the Type A personality that I am, I usually have a Martha Stewart vision for every project I start. Many times, I build the idea up so much in my head, that I am too overwhelmed to even start the project. In MOPS last week, Miriam warned us against living by her philosophy that, "Anything worth doing was worth overdoing." Amen Sister!

So, last year of Alex and I tried decorating Easter Eggs for the first time. I was so excited. I had been waiting to do this (and building it up in my head) with my child for about seven years even though Alex was only three. You should have seen the eggs I envisioned.

The eggs were boiled and cool. I had carefully put our art table cloth on the table, set out the mugs - one for each color. I measured the vinegar and laid out all of the tablets by each mug. I had one metal egg scoop for each of us. I am sure I had thought of some way to incorporate Jesus's death and resurrection into idle chit chat while coloring, but oops, I forgot the drying tray. "Here Alex, just sit here while Mommy goes to the kitchen. Don't put those tablets in your mouth." Walk, walk, walk..."Alex, what did you do? Where is the green...? OH NO!!!!!!"

I am pretty sure I cried, but not because I was concerned about my child's safety. I was mourning the death of yet another vision. I should be numb to it by now. Preschoolers do not operate on a Mom's MO. I was pretty sure he was safe, but for good measure, I did call poison control, AGAIN. For the record, all of my calls to them have been fine, and Alex has never had to take the dreaded syrup of ipecac. Here is a photo of him after we rinsed out his mouth. You can still see a little green if you look closely. I should have taken a before photo. Isn't he cute?

In closing, I must tell you that CVS has their Easter Egg Coloring Kits on sale this Sunday and Monday. Thanks, Rachel for the tip. A year has passed, and both of our wounds have healed. Actually, I think Alex thought the whole thing was funny. Nevertheless, I think we are ready to try this again.


Donna said...

Trust me, Pam, we ALL have our not-so-glorious, motley Mommy moments...and they're not pretty. They always seem to happen when we're trying the hardest to make everything go smoothly! Plan A is usually NOT what happens, but I'm learning to roll with it. By the end of the day, we're usually on Plan X!
A sample Plan B response to the green dye incident: "Oh! You ate the green dye?!!! Well, now we'll have to dip our egg in yellow, then blue. Guess what yellow and blue make?" All the while thinking to yourself, "I totally intended to do a color-mixing lesson...this is even better than Plan A - go me!"

Have fun dyeing eggs this year! Check out GrowingGreatKids for some fun Easter project links.

Karly said...

The best laid plans of mice and moms oft go awry!

I actually think that the whole green dye incident is pretty funny (seeing that Alex is alright). That is something that would totally happen to me. I think it is Mommy's Law: "When you think you have thought of everything, your child will find the one thing you have overlooked." And then they will eat something when you are going to get the thing you forgot.

Thank God for Poison Control!!

Cute Picture!

Lindsay said...

Oh I have so been there. Last year while my mother in law was watching the girls she dyed eggs with them (Nick and I had date night) and she flipped the blue dye onto herself and the floor. I still have a small amount of blue dye on my grout because I can't get it up............This year we are painting pottery animals instead. :)