...because we all have our motley moments!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Hangover

Today was a great day for an adventure. No school, no work. We were free as birds and didn't have a care in the...

Not really! We made homemade Christmas cards this morning and made a HUGE mess in the dining room. But we got about 50 cards made and even the King of the Jungle was able to help! I try to have a fun "project" for us in the morning after breakfast when we don't have school. It helps to avoid venturing toward the TV where I have a tendency to barter my way into watching the Today Show for 30 minutes in exchange for a "movie." [In our house it's normally a Mr. Rodgers rerun.] It's a sucky deal for me, because THE Princess asks me every 2 minutes, I swear I am not making this up, if it's time for the movie yet. "Excuse me mommy, is it time for my movie yet? Is your show over?" So much for my 30 minutes.

So, I gave up on that a long time ago. Now I plan an activity. Smart, right? Generally it's an artsy thing that values process over product. That is mostly so that I can linger over a second cup of coffee and read my TIME magazine. But, not today! Today we crafted with purpose. My purpose was clear, we were going to make our own art that we could send to friends and family to kick off the holiday season!

THE Princess, too, had a purpose. And that was to put glitter glue on pretty much everything we own. Not exactly what I was envisioning, but I kind of just followed behind her smearing the drips onto more paper and miscellaneous artifacts so that she could do her 'thing.' Even, KOTJ got in on the action by drooling and swiping wet fingers all over our art. I think it adds to the whole effect.

My job, other than janitorial, was to frame each masterpiece when it was deemed complete. I had precut the frames to fit, that made it pretty easy. Then I trimmed anything hanging over the edges so that I could lay them flat to dry and finally press them in my huge dictionary so they would lay flat in an envelope.

We worked diligently. THE Princess glitter gluing, KOTJ drooling, and me trimming. I got to have a nice little pile of the stuff that was hanging over. Like a sandwich bag sized amount. Some but not a ton. So, I did what everyone would do in this case. When we finished our art, we picked up everything, swept the floor, wiped the table, put our supplies away, and I bagged up the hangover and smashed it all into a zip lock sandwich bag. I probably should have used two bags, but why waste the bag, right? Smash it up! Then, because I was now trying to get the kids ready for a new and exciting adventure, I sat it on the table and forgot about it.

Until we got home from the aforementioned adventure. As we entered the house I realized that Sammy the One Eyed dog had discovered the hangover and was doing some Christmas decorating of his own. In the midst of my sweeping up the mess with KOTJ in the sling, THE Princess started chasing Sammy and attempting (unsuccessfully) to get him to pull a card, sit in time out, and think about his bad choices. I just stifled my laughter. Until Sammy started to hide and howl from under the couch. KOTJ started to cry, and THE Princess started to yell over the commotion to us that we were all making bad choices! This rather funny situation was now not as funny as before. I had hangover stuck all over my very awesome and expensive, but not very cute, shoes. Not cool.

My phone rang. RM called to see how our first day of vacation was going. My response, I thought, was very logical.

"You see, it started with this stupid hangover this morning." By this time, I had stepped out onto the back porch, so RM and I could hear each other. "I just couldn't get rid of it."

RM, the darling that he is, says, "Honey, I know the kids sometimes drive you crazy, but I didn't realize it was this much of a problem. You know hiding it could be a serious problem."

"Yes, but the problem today is that I didn't hide it. I left it out on the table and the dog got into it. It was all over the floor. THE Princess was trying to discipline the dog and KOTJ started crying. Then, KOTJ was crying and I got it on my shoes. Things are better if I hide it. Much better. Now it's on the floor, on the kids, it's pretty much everywhere!"

"How much is there?"

"I would guess 5 or 6 cups if I had to measure. But, don't worry, I'll get it cleaned up and everybody calmed down."

"Why don't you throw it away?"

"I can't WASTE it! That is so, like, wrong. I can use it, probably even tomorrow. I'll need it and be mad that I got rid of it! Sometimes I don't think you know me at all. I have this handled, don't worry. Will you be home at your regular time?"

"No, I'm gonna leave early and come home and help you. Do you want me to call your mom to come over and help you until I get home?"

"Why would you do that? No. I don't need help. I'll have everything under control in a few minutes. See you tonight I have to get back in there. Love you!"

My mom called me about 10 minutes later that she got a frantic call from RM. He thought I was drinking and the kids were getting into it. He wasn't sure what would make me upset enough to drink. Could she please come and check on me?

I told her about what had happened with the hangover. She started laughing. Then I started laughing. Then I called RM and told him what happened. I was still laughing. Laughing so much I was crying. Laughing so much I was even snorting (but don't tell anyone, okay?) He didn't think it was quite as hilarious. He thought I was playing a joke on him. I kept telling him I wasn't. It was an honest mistake. He grumbled that it was okay and said he would be home at his usual time.

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Seriously. And, just for added measure, I had an empty bottle of sparkling grape juice that I left on the table for him. Just to be funny.

Guess what? Now I am in time out with a red card. IT. WAS. TOTALLY. WORTH. IT.

Postscript: If you get one of our beautiful handmade cards, please enjoy it fully. And, when RM gets over being annoyed with me, it will be a great story to tell. Probably next year. Or the next one.


Pam said...

Ok - That is hilarious! How funny!!! I can just picture the excitement.

Donna said...

I tend to be somewhat of a lush when it comes to the kids' art as well. Not only do I keep practically EVERYTHING they make, but then I save the scraps for "torn paper art"...I've got the same problem with fabric scraps too. This is why I can't get my craft stuff organized!

I could start my own craft speakeasy--if you ever want to try a new craft, stop by here (but knock three times and say "Motley Moms Totally Rock" so I'll know it's you).

Bryssy said...

We'll be over! My problem is that I know that once I throw something away, I'll find a use for it.

I am not sure why RM was so sure I was drinking. Maybe it was just the chaos of the situation.

Amahra AKA K. Dragger said...

Be careful ladies you don't want to end up like this:


Dang it, why can't I make this clicky:(

Jason and Fawnda said...

So FUNNY! You should send this in to reader's digest!!! I bet you could get some $$ out of it!!


Rachel said...

That is too funny! Great story to tell the kids later! :)

Liz said...

Awesome! I have to admit, when I saw the title of your post I was a little worried :).

Bryssy said...

I am not sure how these funny yet weird things happen to me!?!?!

Liz, I like to joke about drinking becuase it is a standing joke in my family that I am notoriously wimpy. I don't even like soda, much less alcohol!

Tara said...

This was good. So good I called my blog friend on vacation telling her you have toread and put a link to it. Still not sure what hangover is or does, except it is used in crafting.
I agree with Bryssy this Reader's Digest good! Do hope hubby is laughing over it now.
I really enjoy you ladies Thank you

Bryssy said...

Hi Tara! The hangover is just the junk, I mean art, that hangs over the edge of the picture. Bits & pieces, really,