...because we all have our motley moments!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Love your body, love yourself

I weigh more than I should. Seriously. Like 15 pounds. My BMI is too high. However, my blood pressure is low and my good cholesterol so high it balances out the bad. In a normal week, I exercise for at least an hour 5 different times. Sometimes I take double tae kwon do classes and it's 2 hours or I walk at the lake for 30 minutes. At any rate, I am probably in the best shape of my life, cardio- and muscle-wise. Still, I'm flabby. It's been almost a year, but the baby weight is not completely gone. I have this thing sitting around my middle that hangs out over my jeans. And I weigh more than I should. I have excuses. I had 2 babies in 2 years. And what some of you probably don't know is, I had another "kind of" pregnancy in 2004 that was really just a blighted ovum, but made me feel pregnant nonetheless and I gained 15 pounds in 2 months. 15 pounds that I am still carrying around. Then I gained 60 (60!) pounds with each (each!) of my next 2 "for-real" pregnancies. I guess one way to look at it is that I've lost 55+ pounds in less than a year, twice. I wouldn't say I struggle with my weight, it's more that I struggle with my outlook on my weight. Yesterday I was at kickboxing class and I was looking at myself in the mirror while I was working out and instead of using the mirror as motivation like, "Oh, you're such a fatass, you better kick higher and faster to burn off those fat thighs," I tried to look at myself and like what I saw. Sure, I have a spare tire around the middle. And yes, I have large thighs and a big butt. But (haha - butt) again, I tried to like what I saw. Not that the spare tire can't vanish or the thighs get more toned and less cellulite-y, but I need to do those things for my health, not for what I see in the mirror. Yesterday I also did something strange (for me) while I was eating lunch. I ate until I was full and then...I stopped eating. I threw the rest away. Today after lunch I was still hungry, so I ate some more. I'm trying to change my outlook. Why do I kickbox, walk at the lake with my boys, and do tae kwon do? Because it's fun and good for my body, not to thin out. Why do I eat? To give my body fuel, to have energy, to feel good, not to look like someone else. No longer am I not going to eat when I'm hungry because I think by doing that the scale will say something different in the morning. And I'm going to try the eat-till-you're-full-then-stop thing more often. Maybe if I do this, I will lose those extra 15 pounds. Then again, maybe I won't. But my body and, more importantly, my mind and my outlook on myself will be healthy and that's more important than what the scale says in the morning.


Maria said...

That's an awesome outlook. You put into words how I would like to think about food and excercise. Good post. Thanks.

Rachel said...

That's a healthy way to look at things, Liz, and thanks for sharing. It's so easy to become obsessed these days with an unhealthy and unrealistic body image.

Otherwise, if you still want to drop that "15" might I suggest a stomach virus? ;) Also, don't underestimate the power of the "skinny" mirrors at the TKD studio! :)

Liz said...

I love the skinny mirrors! I purposely stand in front of them now. And I'd rather be fat than have a stomach virus, although I did lose 4 lbs. from one back in April!

Pam said...

OK - where are the skinny mirrors? Great idea about eating only when you are hungry :)

Donna said...

My problem is that I'm tired ALL THE TIME! I know if I could find a way to incorporate exercise, it would help, but it's hard to exercise for free AND keep track of the kids at the same time. Bike riding isn't cutting it, since I have to ride slow enough for my five-year-old to keep up, but fast enough to keep the weight of the baby seat upright...complicated, but not good exercise. Power walking isn't possible, since my son can't keep up unless he's on his bike, and then Little One insists on riding HER bike (which is even tinier than his).

It's just not happenin' for me!