...because we all have our motley moments!


Monday, November 10, 2008

The Miracle of Sleep

We have sleep issues. I have spent countless hours waiting for Alex to sleep and trying to figure out just where things went wrong, but I really can't blame all of our nightmares on one particular reason. In the orphanage Alex shared a bed with two other babies, so I was afraid he would be lonely and scared when we got home. In our defense, we were warned about this in our pre-adoption training. In fact, our trainers recommended we share a bed until we were all used to the new family dynamic. We got home in November, and by December, we were all sleeping in one room with a lamp on and the TV turned on a music channel with the volume turned all the way down. Although it was quite a hassle, I loved having him in our room. The first few nights we were home, I would just lay there and listen to him breathe. Finally by the start of the New Year, he was in his own room all by himself.

One afternoon a few weeks after we came home, Alex would not take his nap. I sat right beside his crib with my back to him, just like I saw on the Super Nanny and waited quietly for him to fall asleep. He walked from side to side in his crib just playing and laughing. Then he tripped and fell into his aquatic mobile/noise maker. It was his first ever bloody nose, and I felt awful.

Over the years, we have tried numerous different tricks to make bedtime and nap time easier and longer. For a while, I had a small mattress beside his bed. Then, we tried a CD that played a comforting lullaby over and over. We have read stories, established a "routine", soaked in a relaxing bath, nibbled on a small snack, called our doctor so many times that I'm sure our file was color-coded, and faithfully said our prayers. Short of hiring a witch doctor, I have tried it all - all with very slow, snail-like progress.

Transitioning to a toddler bed was a gigantic nightmare. My good friend Stephanie said to put a baby gate by his door to keep him in his room, but how to keep him in his bed? When I called the doctor for advice, they said to just ignore him, so I did. This is how that theory worked for us. For the record, ignoring him on any occasion has never resulted in the desired behavior.

In Alex's defense, he did have to adjust to a nine-hour time change and a whole new life, but that would account for only some of the problems. He has always fought sleep, especially while riding in the car. He just keeps himself awake fidgeting or humming. He will do anything to stay awake longer. We have just gotten to the place where we can usually put him in bed and stay with him for a few minutes until he is settled down. When he is very calm and quiet, we will stay with him longer. I love those days when I can spend quiet time with him. Even now, when he starts to drift asleep, I am afraid to look at him or move a muscle. I am so curious to see what it looks like when he falls asleep, but I just can't risk looking. There I lay next to him, holding my breath and praying to God for relief. He is silent for several minutes, but I am still afraid to look. Finally, I slowly move a bit, just to test him. If he isn't asleep, we start all over again, but if he is I have once again been blessed with a miracle.

11 comments:

Donna said...

Great pictures, Pam!

Sleep issues are so life-altering (and personality altering!) for us all!

I was so sure when we transitioned KID 2 to her toddler bed that it was going to be a complete nightmare. She surprised us, though, and stayed in her bed, right where we put her, night after night. A sleeping child really is such a blessing! I love them when they're awake, but they're angelic when they're asleep!

Jason and Fawnda said...

Pam,
I am in the throws of trying to change a 9 month over from Korean time (15 hours ahead of MN time). I am pretty sure that it will be a while before he sleeps through the night, but I too am hoping and waiting for that miracle!

This post is at the perfect time. I just decided to stop fighting my awake baby into falling asleep and as he plays in the sit-n-spin I decided to check this blog!

Fawnda

Bryssy said...

I have to pretend I am asleep to get my kids to sleep. Slow my breathing, close my eyes, totally relax. Unfortunately, then I really do fall asleep. Most of the time, before they do. My husband finds this hilarious. Normally I have a lot to do, so I kind of find this annoying. Luckily, I don't sleep long, so I am back up working on my "to do" list after an hour or two. :-(

Liz said...

I LOVE the cowboy boots!

Karly said...

I feel like I haven't slept throught the night in five years. Now that we have three kids, it seems like I am playing musical bedrooms at night. Night feedings, nightmares, going potty, bloody noses, bedwetting, coughing, thowing up,..... I never know what exciting thing the night will bring. I can pretty much just sleep walk, go through the motions, and go back to bed without ever reaching full consciousness. On the nights when everyone sleeps straight through, I wake up in a panic wondering what is wrong.

Some day I know I will sleep again. Until then, I am so gratefyul for my under-eye concealer.

Karly said...

I feel like I haven't slept through the night in five years. Now that we have three kids, it seems like I am playing musical bedrooms at night. Night feedings, nightmares, going potty, bloody noses, bedwetting, coughing, throwing up,..... I never know what exciting thing the night will bring. I can pretty much just sleepwalk, go through the motions, and go back to bed without ever reaching full consciousness. On the nights when everyone sleeps straight through, I wake up in a panic wondering what is wrong.

Some day I know I will sleep again. Until then, I am so grateful for my under-eye concealer.

Donna said...

I can't say you were blessed with good sleepers, Karly, but at least God hard-wired you to handle it and go back to sleep!!! I really don't know how you do it night after night.

I can relate to that feeling of panic when a too-quiet house jolts me awake. That hasn't happened in a while though...I think it's a new baby thing. After they got beyond the SIDS threat, I relaxed a lot more at night.

Good luck tonight, girls!

Pam said...

Yeah, it's so ironic. Each night I hope he sleeps all night, but I am just like Karly. If he does sleep all night, I am afraid something's wrong. Good night and sweet dreams to everyone, but espeically to all the Motley Moms out there!

Rachel said...

Excellent pictures, Pam, and I wish I had some great advice to give you, but we have sleep issues, too! (I tried the Super Nanny thing as well, by the way, and though we didn't have any injuries, it didn't work well for us, either!)

Hope you have a peaceful night!

Ticia said...

Honesty the sleep stuff sounds pretty standard for a toddler.
If it helps- it does get better even if it feels like its not right now.
I had a premature baby that I swear didn't sleep or stop screaming for the first year of his life.

I do promise it gets better, don't let it stress you too much.

Mine are 14 and 16 years old and always sleep through the night now ;)! Leticia

Tara said...

Pam I have 4 childen all different. Had 1 that did not like to sleep. From the time he was born we went thru screaming(and all the effects from it). Finially after listening to everyone's advice and crying along with my baby. I did what my heart told me to do.
This baby boy is yours, you are his MOMMY! Listen to your heart!
Once I did what was right for us instead of what the doctor told me or all the others my family was happier. Today my baby is 13 and very secure in himself and his family. Said a prayer for you just now. You will make it thru this.
They are only this age for a blink of an eye.