...because we all have our motley moments!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Bad Word

I am always trying to teach and reinforce good manners at our house. We say please, and thank you. We read books about manners. We have flashcards about manners. I insist that everyone asks to be excused from the dinner table when we are done. We shake hands with people that we meet and introduce ourselves by looking them in the eye and telling them our name. We set the table and clear the dishes after a meal. We unload the dishwasher and help fold laundry. We say, "excuse me" when someone is talking and we want to be heard. And we don't say bad words.

I am not talking about swear words. We don't say mean or rude sounding words either. Or grammatically incorrect words, like "ain't." (I seriously thought ain't was a bad word until I wan in middle school.) We don't say, "butt." We say "bottom." Everybody knows this. And by everybody, I mean my husband.

Here is our afternoon yesterday. I am not even kidding.

THE Princess: Mommy, Daddy said 'butt!'

Me: Daddy, please try to make a good choice and say bottom. Butt is not a nice word.

RM: I was talking about my BUTTon. The BUTTon came off my jacket. Can you sew my BUTTon on?

THE Princess: He keeps saying it, Mommy! Daddy is not making a good choice!

RM: BUT, it wasn't bad! BUTTon isn't bad.

THE Princess: Mommy, he's saying it again!

Me: Please stop it? Please?

RM: What about a flying BUTTress? Those aren't bad!

THE Princess: Mommy, do you hear him? Brother is going to learn a BAD word!

RM: What if I BUTT the Christmas tree stand up against the wall?

THE Princess: He needs a red card! Mommy!

RM: Or I could eat some bread with BUTTer. I love BUTTer in a BUTTer dish and to spread it with a BUTTer knife.


RM: I love BUTTer beans......and was that turkey a BUTTerball? Did you like it my little BUTTerfly?

I was ready to gouge out my eye with a spoon. I am so not even kidding.

I don't know who is worse. Seriously.


Liz said...

Love it! Especially the flying BUTTresses. I try not to say inappropriate things in front of my children. I will take no credit for my son jumping on the couch saying, "Oh, sh--! Oh, sh--! Oh, sh--!" I blame his aunt or his uncle ;).

Jason and Fawnda said...

I guess RM is getting you back for the "hangover" situation last week! He he he! :)


Bryssy said...

I think that may be true! What a butt...I mean, great guy!

In my defense, the hangover thing was totally unintentional. I still can't believe that he thought I was drinking! What nerve!

Donna said...

Hilarious, Bryssy! I love it! I am laughing all by myself here in my office!

Rachel said...

First of all, adorable picture!

We don't say the "B Word" around here either, so imagine my surprise when a few months ago my little guy alerted me to his dirty diaper by staring me straight in the eye and very seriously saying, "Butt." We have no idea how he made the connection because we never use that word around him--we say "bottom" too. He's grown out of it (thankfully) but it will always be a mystery where he heard it in the first place...(maybe I should have questioned your DH!)

Excellent post--thanks for the laugh today!

Karly said...

Hilarious!! I am laughing out loud! My husband loves to torture me in the same fashion. He gets quite a kick out of gettting me worked up. I read the post to him. He found it very amusing. I think I may have given him an idea...

We do not say BUTT at our house either. We should probably say "bottom", but instead we say booty or boompa (that's my grandma's word). They both sound pretty funny. We should just say bottom.

Donna said...

Boompa is funny! I've never heard that one before! Sounds like a cute grandparent name (except for the connection to the "butt"...I mean, booty...I mean, bottom...)

We say "bottom" around here, too. Butt, stupid, dumb, and several others are not tolerated here. We use proper words for body parts, including "penis" and "vagina"...I think it's funny when people treat the "real" body part words like swear words.