Before I explain, I must say that I am a rural country girl. I grew up in the midwest in a small town of around 100. Most of my friends were farmers, and for a brief period in the late 80s, I wanted to be a farmer. I am very proud to say that not only was FarmAid started in my home state, but I have also went to FarmAid. I am still afraid of parking garages and elevators, as I was never around these new-fangled, big-city technologies growing up. Having said all of this, I think I have earned the right to use the word redneck as a term of endearment.
So we had just moved to Mattoon circa 1998, and like usual, we bought a real Christmas tree. At the time, we only had our two furry children, our cats Salty and Pepper. I loved watching our cats play, and Christmas was no exception. They would chase each other up into the tree, and the whole thing would shake. I remember fondly watching Salty chew on the branches of our beautiful tree and smile. How cute, I thought to myself.
Then, she started getting sick. I'll spare you the details, but it had an odd green color. Let's just say it wasn't a pretty Christmas green. Ironically, it took me a while to figure out that eating pine needles was probably not good for her. When I took her to the vet, I was shocked to learn that too many pine needles could actually cause a blockage and be fatal! We were really lucky that she didn't get very sick, but we now had a Christmas decorating emergency.
I have long been a tight-wad, so buying an artificial tree after I had already bought a real tree in the same holiday season was not an option. Until we could decide what to do, we moved the tree, decorations and all into our spare room. Finally, it was clear that the best option was to fashion a fence out of chicken wire, no less, to keep the cats out of the tree. We headed over to our local Rural King (a farm supply store, which is really cool BTW), to get our supplies. I have to tell you that it doesn't matter how many strings of Christmas lights you use, chicken wire is chicken wire. You can't really pretty it up.
Here is a photo of Salty and the tree, before her evergreen eating binge. Isn't she cute?
Oddly enough, I do not have any photos with the chicken wire. So, do you have any redneck Christmas stories?
5 comments:
No, but I am sorely tempted every year to emulate the finest Polk County tradition: just leave the lights up all year. Turn them on for special occasions like Easter, Ma's birthday, Pappy's Sobriety Anniversary, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, National Chain Your Dog to the Bed of Your Truck Day, you name it...the options are endless. Plus, you never have to put lights up again. If any strands of icicle lights go out, just leave it. The rest still look real purty.
As my family hails from Alabama, every Christmas was a redneck one. And yes, your cat is cute sitting there under the tree.
Donna, Have you been by my neighbor's house? They still have Christmas decorations up from before we moved into our house in April of 2004! The plus side is that my house always looks good in comparison!
Believe it or not, I can't actually think of any stories off the top of my head, and I'm sure there must be something...
Wait--every Christmas Eve our town gas station owner (yes, because there is only one) dresses up like Santa, hops on the back of the town fire truck, and rides around to visit the kids. Is that redneck? I don't really know--it always seemed normal to me until I moved away...
I love it! I think that's actually a classic good way to spread Christmas cheer! I'd love it if Santa made a visit on the back of a firetruck...so I know the kids would love it!
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