Several weeks ago I wrote a scathing review of the movie Fireproof. I'm not here to write a retraction because I still think it's a lousy movie; however, my husband and I have started attending a small group at church based on the materials from Fireproof and I have to admit that it's great. Our small group is reading the book The Love Dare, which is featured in the movie. Basically the book takes you through 40 days of small "dares" that you do with your spouse. For instance, buying your spouse a small gift, doing some selfless act of service, calling your spouse during the day to see if they need anything, etc. It probably sounds rather simplistic and it definitely seems that way in the movie, but there's more to this book than just the dares. It's based on 1 Corinthians 13, which gets read at weddings a lot, but I'm not sure many of us spend a lot of time reading it after we get married. I know I don't. The main point of the book, though, is, "Don't follow your heart. Lead your heart." When I first read that statement, I thought, "Oh my gosh. That's genius." It's totally against what our culture tells us to do, but it's the truth. It's what's right. It's not at all what I usually do, but it's now what I'm trying to do.
What's interesting about this marriage group is that the principles of love I'm learning about with my husband are also spilling over into my relationships with my children. One week we talked about our love languages and now I find myself wondering what my kids' love languages are. Ethan's seems to maybe be quality time, so instead of saying, "No, honey, Mommy's reading," when he wants me to help him set up his train track in the den, I say, "Okay." I'm also trying to lead my heart instead of follow it. Because honestly, sometimes my heart tells me to run screaming out of the house and into my car, never to return. And that wouldn't be such a good mommy thing, huh?
So I'm giving credit where credit is due. When I wrote that bad review of Fireproof, people told me that they've seen God use it to transform people's marriages. Well, it's true. Only with me it's transforming all of my important relationships.
6 comments:
Wow--lead your heart instead of follow it--you're right, that IS genius! Major "Aha" moment over here! It makes so much sense, too. I mean, if I were to let my stomach lead my eating habits instead of me leading them, how huge would I be?? Somebody should write that on a bracelet...
Thanks for the update, Liz, and the book sounds great. I may have to pick up a copy.
That does sound good! I also like the "Lead your heart, not follow it!" So insightful! Thanks for sharing!
I love the "5 love languages" it really makes me look at people so different. My son is Time and Touch kid. He loves to be held and have 1-on-1 times. I am a total gifts person so I have to be careful to not just give my son lots of things but give of my time too.
I haven't seen the movie because I have heard so many mixed reviews about it. I still might watch it eventually.
Your marriage group sounds great. And it is cool that it is spilling over into all your other important relationships.
I also really like the Love Languages. It has really helped us in our marriage and it interesting to figure out our kids and their love languages too.
I have a friend here in the CR that is friends with the writer/director of the film and material. My friend was able to get a copy of this book and gave it to us (a new married couple). We have been (slowly) going through the book together and it is really simple yet really powerful and challenging.
Sounds really interesting, Liz. Is this a book you write in, or could you pass it along to us when you're done?
You write in it, so I wouldn't want to pass it on. Maybe you can find a copy on the cheap on Amazon?
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