ALONE

Today I had back-to-back doctor's appointments, so my friend Pam watched my kids for me. She brought her son Alex over and kept all 3 children through what is one of the craziest times of day at my house - lunchtime and getting-down-for-our-nap-time. I left the house about 10:50, drove to Winter Haven, spent 25 minutes in my gynecologist's office (a new record!), and had 75 minutes until my next appointment, which was in Lake Wales. Fortunately I had a book with me, so I went to Firehouse Subs, and ate lunch and read ALL BY MYSELF.
I used to feel sorry for people who ate alone in restaurants. I used to be so self-conscious that I wouldn't eat alone in a restaurant, especially one in Winter Haven, where I almost always run into former students. However, my life has changed. I am rarely alone anymore. I'm not complaining because I love sleeping next to my husband and I really don't mind being walked in on by my son when I'm in the bathroom, but I am extremely introverted (90% according to the Myers-Briggs) and sometimes I. Just. Want. To. Be. Alone.
On the way back from Winter Haven, I was able to listen to 80s on 8 and sing Def Leppard without someone asking, "What you singin', Mom?" or requesting, "No thank you for singing, Mom!" I even flipped over to 90s on 9 and listened to "Do Me" by Bel Biv Devoe, a song I would never listen to with my impressionable children in the backseat, until I felt guilty and changed the station yet again. (Do you remember that song? It's really dirty!)
Anyway, I then went to my next appointment, which was with my psychotherapist (psycho therapist?), and I always feel great after that, so I bit the bullet and went to Publix. ALONE. And it was terrific. It's amazing what you can get done in a grocery store without children and with a list.
When I got home my children had been fed and were asleep. It was AMAZING. I was on an alone-time high for the rest of the day.
Well, not quite.
I feel like I need to tell this story, mainly because it scared the crap out of me and I think writing about it might take some of the horror away.
When Todd got home from work, we took the kids to the new play park. He was down below with Ethan and I followed Micah to the top of the play structure. There were tons of kids up there waiting to go down the slide and I was a little distracted by them and Micah hasn't really gotten the hang of steps yet, so he went right off the edge of one, which wouldn't have been a big deal, except that he then proceeded to fall between the posts of a climbing area to the ground below. I caught his ankle just in time and he dangled there while I got enough of a grasp to pull him up. I kept thinking of Michael Jackson hanging his kid out of that 4-story window or whatever it was. He was going down head-first. And yes, the ground of the playground is ground-up tires, very spongy and soft, but still. He was going head-first. Don't tell me he wouldn't have been badly hurt. It still horrifies me to think about it. He didn't know he dodged a bullet, but I sure did. In fact, I might go get him out of bed just to hold him for a little while.