...because we all have our motley moments!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm a Mom.

I'm a Mom". That's what I say when people ask me what I "do" these days. Surprisingly to me, this statement is usually met with a hesitation and then a supporting comment like,
"Oh, that's wonderful."
"That's the most important job you'll ever have."
"I stayed home with my children too and have never regretted it."

When I say that it surprises me to hear this, it's because while growing up I always had the feeling that I needed to go to school and "do" something with my life, "become someone" - meaning a career of some sort.

So I did.

I have to say that I really liked working in the customary sense. I've had some wonderful jobs and they have given me incredible opportunities to meet and work with some amazing people. It was nice contributing to the household income. Our lifestyle was pretty carefree.

When I had my first child, I planned to work so that we could afford the lifestyle we were used to. We had bills to pay. But while we talked about this, in my heart I knew that something different was happening to me. I began to see motherhood in a different light. My ears perked up whenever I heard someone talking about "staying home". My heart softened.

We took the plunge when I had my second child. We didn't know that our finances would be OK, but I had God's peace that it somehow would be. I was in his will. We did our part by cutting back and making some decisions that weren't very comfortable. It was worth every discomfort.

There is so much peace knowing that you are in God's will. I know without a doubt that I am doing exactly what I was born to do. Mother my children without the stress of a full time job. It will be such until the day comes that I begin working outside the home again. Things can always change, but for now this is how it is.

Now, this knowledge doesn't make me a perfect Mom. Is there such a thing? I think not. I do know that I try my best everyday to leave a legacy worth leaving.

My children are my legacy to this world. As I type this, I realize that's not quite right. Maybe I should say that my mothering is the legacy I leave behind.

Now, can I stop right here, please? I can almost sense how some people are taking this blog. Maybe you work full time and have kids. Hey, I commend you. I really do. That is such a sacrifice because I know how hard it is to do that. I think mothers that work are awesome mothers. Maybe you work because you want to/need to/hate to/love to. I don't know. Maybe you want to work, but feel you can't for whatever reason. I want to be sensitive to everyone, yet also tell my story. Yes, I think you can be a wonderful mother and work also. I just believe it comes in that order. Mother first, worker second.
Now, I would like to thank some people who have helped me in my quest to be a good Mom.

Miriam Rockness' Mother's Forum is a breath of fresh air. It quiets my mind to know that there has been a place where mother's of every age could come together and encourage one another. I would leave her home inspired and ready to be a great Mom.

MOPS. I can't say enough about this group. The encouragement is incredible. When I walk into this meeting, I feel a sense of belonging and love. I love the women there. Real issues are discussed and when I leave I feel uplifted and fortified somehow. I am not alone in my struggles. That is so nice to know.

My family. They encourage me to stay home and be a great mom.91.1 FM radio station in Central Florida (Moody Radio). There is often a program that encourages wives and mothers.

Most of all my husband. He is the one that took the most risk in supporting me. Society is also telling him that wives should work in order to pay the bills. He's not buying that anymore. He feels the peace we now have in our home and he will do most anything to protect that now.

If you are thinking about staying home or you are now staying at home with the kids or know someone who wants to, then there is a book that looks pretty encouraging. I heard about it today on the radio. It's called In Praise of Stay at Home Moms. It looks like a good read.


Well, my dears, this blog was from the heart. I hope I didn't offend anyone or cause anyone guilt about working (we all know that nobody needs more guilt as a Mommy). I merely wanted to share my story and uplift those who may be hearing some negative messages or feeling negative about staying home with the kids.


Bryssy said...

Nice post, Maria.

I have always thought that ALL moms are Working Moms. Right?

Lindsay said...

Thanks for you post from the heart today. I have only been a stay-at- home mom. We knew before having kids that I was going to stay home so from the first day of marriage we only used my husband money, anything I made was "fun" money. So of course that made it easier in the beginning there was no real sacrice.........that came later, because kids are expensive.

Anyway.........I just wanted to say thanks. It's good to be reminded sometimes that we are doing is worth it. :)

Liz said...

That's right, Bryssy! We all work, we just have different titles.
I love your post, Maria. When my husband and I were dating I told him I wanted to quit working once we had kids. It's the best thing for our family.

Bryssy said...

Every mom that I know that works outside the home considers themselves a mom and then whatever their occupation is.

Sherrie said...

Thanks for the great encouragement, Maria! This is definitely a message that we need to hear right now. With the economy under such strain, the message to work is stronger than ever. Us moms are doing amazing things trying to bring in extra money, but being with our kids also. (They actually had it on the news the other day.) Good job to all you mommies, working or at home... the hardest job we could ever do.... but the best we could ever have.

Donna said...

It's funny. You do get that little hesitation in response to saying "I'm a mom." In this post-bra-burning-era, it's not a popular thing to say, simply "I'm a mom." But even if you work outside the home, inside the home, part-time, full-time, or never receive a paycheck for the work you do, "Mom" is probably the title that you've worked hardest for!

Enjoy it!

Karly said...

I think being a working mom is tough and being a stay at home mom is tough. As they say, "A woman's work is never done." Boy is that true!

I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my children. I know not everyone is able to or even wants to. But for me, I am so happy to be able to cherish every moment and stage--the good and the bad.

Sometimes my life is crazy and full of bodily fluids, but I wouldn't want it any other way!!