Hello--long time, no blog. I can't give you a great reason for my absence and tardiness in posting, but it has been an interesting few days/weeks.
First, our computer crashed. Thank you, thank you to Karly and everyone else who suggested that we get an external hard drive because we did and we only lost one month's worth of data, not an entire five years. It was a few days before we made it to the computer store, so I was off-line for a little while. That led to...
the potty-training of our anti-potty-training son. The weather was bad, we had no appointments on the calendar, and I had nothing to distract me, so we dug in our heels and and I am happy to say that the little guy now wears underwear unless he is sleeping. Woohoo! :)
This is what is on my mind today, though--I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the expectations of others (particularly people who do not live in my house). You know, I volunteer, I send cards, I try to help where I can when I can, but I'll be honest--it seems like nothing is really "enough" anymore in some areas of my life. Can anyone relate to that? It may just be part of being a mom and living in the stay-at-home mom culture, but it's frustrating. I mean, sure, I could probably do more, but I don't really WANT to. How do you draw the line in your activities?
Well, that's all I have for today. Hope you're having a great week!
9 comments:
I can totally relate, Rachel. I'm sure we've talked about this before, but it's because it's something we constantly face. I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to start constantly saying "No, thank you."
Do you ever just want to go to bed and stay there with your head under the covers for about 4 days? I could totally do that right now.
Somehow the term "Stay At Home Mom" has always seemed a misnomer for me. I hardly EVER have a whole day to spend AT HOME. Next time someone asks me to commit to something, "I'm really striving to become a stay-at-home mom...sorry" would be a totally awesome response, wouldn't it?
Yes, you should totally say that, Donna. Much better than, "Screw you!"
Well my life and brain have been in about 1000 different places lately. With the house getting done a whole month ahead of time we've had to scramble a bit. So I can totally relate.
You asked "how do you draw the line?" I think what I have learned is that you just set boundaries for yourself, and then be okay with it. For example I will not be able to help out in the church nursery this month...and then don't allow yourself to be guilty over that. You know why it doesn't work for you, and even more important GOD knows why. You don't have to explain yourself to everyone.
Being a mommy and shaping our children's lives is THE most important thing right now which means we CAN'T do everything and we aren't going to make everyone happy. So just stop trying. Do what works for you and your family, and pray that God gives you peace with that.
Oh and one more thing. My Grandfather is 92 yrs old. He is the most calm person I have ever met in my life. He has lived a wonderful life, worked hard, and been a devote Christian through everything he does. One thing that has always stuck out to me is, that every single time he prays he prays for contentment. Meal time prayers, family prayers, church prayers you name it he asks for contentment for himself and for others. And I have never met someone who is more content than him. So God is answering his prayers. :)
I have had so much more peace of mind after starting a "no" phase of life this school year. I felt a bit guilty at first, but don't anymore. I quit doing activities that, quite frankly, just stress me out. I still help when I can (and want to) but I don't feel obligated.
It's a good feeling. :-)
True, Donna, and I may start saying that, too. :) I like it!
Thanks for the wisdom, ladies! It seems I don't really have a problem saying no, it's the guilt I feel afterward, so I appreciate your insight!
I just bought a great book called, "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. It has great ideas for setting personal boundaries like when to say yes and when to say no. It also talks about "functional boundaries" like how to run your life rather than letting your life run you. It is insightful! I would highly recommend it.
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