...because we all have our motley moments!

Sunday, September 28, 2008


I was recently asked this question during a Bible study: "If you could do or be anything you wanted now, what would it be?"

I enjoyed hearing the other ladies tell of their hopes and dreams, and I learned so much about them that I never knew. In our meeting room sat pilots and sopranos and writers--I twitched nervously in my seat as each shared her passion with us knowing that it would soon be my turn.

I honestly couldn't think of an answer to the question. If I had been asked this as a little girl, without hesitation I would have said Nancy Drew. In high school I would have immediately responded that I would be a doctor, of course. Fast forward to my senior year of college and I would have been a French teacher (I actually did do this). I've always had dreams and goals, and I've always been working towards them, but now I sat dumbfounded as I pondered the idea of having more dreams and more goals.

Nowadays my dreams lean more towards effortless housecleaning and finding ridiculous deals at the grocery store. My goals involve teaching my son what he needs to know and being the best wife and mother I can be (and, well, finishing a cardio kickboxing class without feeling nauseous). I sometimes dream of baking my own bread from scratch or making my own pillows and curtains, but I certainly would never be able to open my own bakery (bakers wake up way too early) or become a seamstress (I'm afraid of sewing machines. Really). I would love to have the knowledge of a chef so that I could cook whatever I wanted when I wanted, but to actually be a chef and run a restaurant kitchen sends shivers down my spine. I would fall apart during the first dinner rush (with visions of Gordan Ramsay flashing through my mind)! All of these professions are wonderful, and I am so happy that there are talented people doing those very things, but for now, it's just not my cup of tea.

So what or who would I be? I very nervously gave my answer, that, well, I would be me. I have dreamed of being a wife and mother for several years, and now that I am here, I love it. I've had my "paying" career, and I still use my education from time to time on new projects that fit more into my current lifestyle, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything or (horrified gasp) wasting anything. I don't have any passions that are waiting in the wings until I have time to pursue them. I actually like play dates at the park and spending time with my guys on Sunday afternoons. Being me is not always a piece of cake and I do not walk around wearing perpetual rose-colored glasses, but most of the time this is what I wanted (minus the loss of sleep that apparently comes with the job--I'm sure I never requested that).

Maybe tomorrow will bring another dream (I am quite enthralled with a few characters in some of the books that I read), but for now, I'm pretty happy being here and being me. What about you? If you could do anything or be anything, what would it be?


Karly said...

Rachel, I would say you are one blessed woman. Not many people can just be content and fulfilled with what they have. "The grass is always greener" seems to be a normal human condition.

Goals are great, but it is a great gift to be happy with where you are at!

Donna said...

I totally agree with your viewpoint! I, too, struggle to think of other things I'd rather be doing. I have fun every day as a mom!