I rarely EVER ask for help. That's not a bragging right, it's more a confession. Convincing myself and others that I can do it all is really not good for anyone. Especially me. I am not superwoman. There. I said it.
It's not good for my daughter to see me striving to do all and be all...what kind of precedent am I setting here? I want my kids to know that it's okay to ask for help. Or to accept help when it's offered.
A friend of mine recently offered to take my kids to the park to give me a little break for an hour or so. She had noticed how tired, stressed and generally underwhelmed I have been lately and generously offered her time in order to give me some time for myself. I was extremely reluctant to accept this help. Why? I guess I've fallen under the delusion that I can handle it all, all the time. I'm home with my kids all day and I'm used to doing everything with them in tow.
Everything except taking time for myself. Writing. Reflecting. Relaxing. Praying. Creating. Very little creativity happens for me if my kids are around. I just can't put my thoughts together enough to generate a creative work when I can hear my kids pounding around the house and yelling at each other. Not possible.
So I forced myself to accept my sweet friend's offer (fully intending to reciprocate somehow for her) and I am looking forward to a morning's hour alone. Wow! To be alone in my own home? I don't think that has happened on a weekday in years. I can't decide what to do first: take a quiet shower? A nap? Start working on character and setting for my currently very short work of fiction? Go for a jog? Make a fresh pot of coffee and surf the net? Clean the house? (probably not that one)...but the possibilities are dizzying!
Maybe I'll start with a shower, have a little chat with God, and then go from there...Thank you, God, for friends who help to brush aside the brambles that grow over this little light of mine. Amen.